Day 4..."We have a certain look here"

so, rehearsal 11-7. we're working with this choreographers that are really slow and not very fun. but before i get to THAT, lets talk about the fat speech i got today.

we're all warmning up and first damn thing of the day i get pulled into the parking lot. Douglas is his name and he's the head of something, pretty important from what i hear. anyways, with a smile on his face he lets me know that i dont look like the other boys. my weight is a matter of concern amongst all the producers and choreographers. mind you, still smiling. he goes on to tell me i'm fantastic and that everybody here is on my side and rooting for me, (as if i'm some kind of charity case), and that he just needed to officially tell me that i need to lose weight. something about the customers on the ship will complain if i look different and they are worried about the costumes fitting me. i told him i understand his "look" and the attitudes of the customers BUT couldn't understand why they hired me as is. they knew i was big, they know big is a problem, why would they hire me. anyways, before i digress he kept smiling, never answered my question and told me not to starve myself and join a gym. which i told him i had already done and already been today and that i wasn't eating poorly. he said GOOD. so, with a smile on my face i started rehearsal and danced like i had never danced before....

SHITTY

These dances are hid. the choreography is so awkward in the sense that you end on your right foot on count 8 and have to go to your right foot on count 1. WHAT THE HELL MAN. WHO DOES THAT. that is what matt and i call BOOTLEG. busted yo. so yeah, the first 4 hours were spent looking at my fat in the mirror and standing there trying to make sense of these steps. we learned jellical hats, popeye the sailor man, william tell oveture, and the frouge. i was a busy little fat boy. so then it was time for lunch. i ate some food but threw it up later

just kidding

came back from lunch for the last 3 hours and was in a totally different mood. i was happy and hyper and actually started to get the choreography. i think i just had a personal come to jesus while my lunch was depositing in my love handles that i just had to get over it. love myself for who i am and crack the key to this choreography. that key, if you're wondering, was "you'll look like you've never danced regardless." once i got that down it was solid gold. my cast finally got to see me and we laughed for 3 hours. sigh, good times. i love my cast, they are so fun. i'm very very lucky. just hope i don't get fired for being a big girl. a moment of funny though, we had to line up in a line across the room and had a guest choreographer come in and look at her. i was the only big girl on the line. cute

back at the apt i met up with my girls, went to the gym, burned 500 something calories and walked home. the cast thats in my apartment right now leaves in the morning for their cruise. then i get the place to myself with mashawn. still don't know how to spell his name. dumb. tomorrow i get to learn the russian dance from nutcracker and its all jumps. hopefully it will be good good times and good good dancing. it looked like it was all ballet stuff which at this point is the equivalent of a hip hop combo for me. yessssssssssssss.

p.s. i don't get good internet so i usualy am posting the next day so its not the actual dates, but you get an idea. also, my roomate right now was in japan with evan and then on his ship when they worked for stiletto. let me just tell you the stories i heard and, yet again, i realize how much better off i am now. sure it hurt and i thought my life was doomed but from the sounds of it i was wrong. i don't want to sound catty or bitchy but hell, i've got somebody so much better and i hope we will make it through these next few years cause i'm convinced there is nobody left. random p.s. and a little mushy but you can get over it. love you

also, i'm in inglewood, WHAT THE HELL. wasn't that in a rap song or something, inglewooood