3.31.2008
sigh
this blog, along with some of my soul.....has died. sorry. nothing happens anymore worth talking about. the end. adios. peace out
3.17.2008
new feature
i've decided to add some cast quotes from throughout the contract on this little blog so you can get an idea of what people are like. honestly i've had the most but i think its because people are intimidated in making the quote book and i just own it. here are a few
everytime something happens we don't like we all yell "BOOOOO" and throw a shoe at whatever it is
i was commenting on how all these dancer boys at royal are little and sway back..."appearently sway back is the new pink"
last night in flying rehearsal we were told to be completely engaged with your bodies and kim goes "i'm so engaged i've been mairried twice'
and there are more i'm gonna start attatching them to the end of my posts. enjoy bitches
everytime something happens we don't like we all yell "BOOOOO" and throw a shoe at whatever it is
i was commenting on how all these dancer boys at royal are little and sway back..."appearently sway back is the new pink"
last night in flying rehearsal we were told to be completely engaged with your bodies and kim goes "i'm so engaged i've been mairried twice'
and there are more i'm gonna start attatching them to the end of my posts. enjoy bitches
omg my hands
Saturday/Sunday
Well holy hell. This ship is f-ing huge. They say its not much bigger than the class of ship below this one but I’ve never seen it so I think this is huge. Its literally like a city street down the middle of our ship. Restaurants, shops, clubs, boutiques, cars, statues, apartment windows overlooking the street, granite and marble floors, art galleries. Its nuts. You see somebody new every minute and never the same person twice. There are about 5000 people on board this cruise alone. My jaw is still dropped and I got on board yesterday. I want everybody in my life to experience this floating city they call the liberty of the seas.
We started rehearsals last night at midnight and those were just fun. We got fitted for harnesses so that we can fly with ease. I went right up and felt at home….and a little like peter pan. Not gonna lie. But yeah, its amazing in the air, I’ve always wanted to ability to fly and now I’m going to get to do it and get paid for it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
In the meantime, we’re shacked up in passenger cabins. I’m on deck 9 of 14 or so sharing a room with our boy3 nick. Mom dad, you’ll like this. We have complete passenger and crew status for the next 2-3 weeks. That means we can wear whatever we want and go and do whatever we want. We don’t have to pay for anything and can just live the life. Only downside is that we usually sleep from about noon to 8pm….if not a little later. Rehearsals start at midnight and go till around 9-10 am. So basically my day has flipped.
Tomorrow I am in san juan and I hear its really pretty so maybe I’ll go out in port before I go to bed at noon.
That’s about all right now, the cast is great and we collectively can’t stand 3 people……karlee the aussie and the 19year old, Thomas our boy2 that I knew in okc and didn’t really care for him there, and then the 38 year old boy1 drake. I’m not really sure if I’ve touched on them before but one is just irresponsible, young, and careless with a lot of selfishness, the other is bitchy and whiny for no reason and doesn’t handle power well, and the last is just a complete waste of a human and a big booming voice. He can’t mimic sounds (which is kinda important when you sing) doesn’t understand the notes he is given, and has already been slapped with a sexual harassment claim. Basically we don’t have time for any of them. However, I will try to make some time because they appear to be the only new source of drama and this blog is B-O-R-I-N-G right now.
Monday morning……
Keep in mind its 8am right now and I’m about to go to bed. “today” at rehearsal I pretty much did everthing in the world. We did hand loops, liras(hoops), cargo nets, trampolines, bungee chords, 2 point harness, and I’m sure something else. My hands are blistered and red , my wrists are tender, and my hips and groin are killin. But you know what else is killin me….this little bitch Paul from Australia. He is such a backseat driver baby little prick it drives me wild. He pouts and cries if he doesn’t get something right away and then pouts some more when he gets injured. But all the while is the first to correct somebody or tell them what to do or bitch about 3 remaining water bottles. I really don’t have the energy right now to explain myself but just know I’ve invisioned myself kicking him in his teeth and then tying him up to the cargo net and hurling myself at him repeated until the ropes sever his body into small squares. I’m done y’all.
Back to rehearsal though, my favorite apparatus’ we used were the hand loops, bungee, and cargo net. The hand loops are where you just hang from your wrist and go in circles….i felt like mary poppins or somebody in the Celine Dion show. The cargo net was fun cause we were flipping through it, onto it and around it, climbing it and jumping onto it with a trampoline. The bungee’s however have a slightly different story. I loved them cause I could do back flips and all kinds of stuff but I kinda didn’t like it because I weigh so much. Some comment was made like they’d have add an extra bungee to mine if I did it cause I kept hitting the floor. I couldn’t even do it full out cause I’d smack the floor. Lots of people laughed but mainly cause it was me, the fat kid, and of course I had to have adjustments. The best part was maybe when they initially lifted me up into the air and I didn’t leave the stage cause my weight kept me down. I felt so thin and pretty at that moment…..sigh. but yeah, once I got up and was flipping my bungee started to spin so I stopped, dropped my arms to my side and our rigger came over and grabbed my ankles to stop me. Well, that stopped my lower half but my upper half was still spinning so my arms went out and I ended up slapping him in the face on accident. He was kinda shocked and said this guy just slapped me. I said “and that was for the bungee comment.” Thus ending my rehearsal for the day. Goodnight.
Well holy hell. This ship is f-ing huge. They say its not much bigger than the class of ship below this one but I’ve never seen it so I think this is huge. Its literally like a city street down the middle of our ship. Restaurants, shops, clubs, boutiques, cars, statues, apartment windows overlooking the street, granite and marble floors, art galleries. Its nuts. You see somebody new every minute and never the same person twice. There are about 5000 people on board this cruise alone. My jaw is still dropped and I got on board yesterday. I want everybody in my life to experience this floating city they call the liberty of the seas.
We started rehearsals last night at midnight and those were just fun. We got fitted for harnesses so that we can fly with ease. I went right up and felt at home….and a little like peter pan. Not gonna lie. But yeah, its amazing in the air, I’ve always wanted to ability to fly and now I’m going to get to do it and get paid for it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
In the meantime, we’re shacked up in passenger cabins. I’m on deck 9 of 14 or so sharing a room with our boy3 nick. Mom dad, you’ll like this. We have complete passenger and crew status for the next 2-3 weeks. That means we can wear whatever we want and go and do whatever we want. We don’t have to pay for anything and can just live the life. Only downside is that we usually sleep from about noon to 8pm….if not a little later. Rehearsals start at midnight and go till around 9-10 am. So basically my day has flipped.
Tomorrow I am in san juan and I hear its really pretty so maybe I’ll go out in port before I go to bed at noon.
That’s about all right now, the cast is great and we collectively can’t stand 3 people……karlee the aussie and the 19year old, Thomas our boy2 that I knew in okc and didn’t really care for him there, and then the 38 year old boy1 drake. I’m not really sure if I’ve touched on them before but one is just irresponsible, young, and careless with a lot of selfishness, the other is bitchy and whiny for no reason and doesn’t handle power well, and the last is just a complete waste of a human and a big booming voice. He can’t mimic sounds (which is kinda important when you sing) doesn’t understand the notes he is given, and has already been slapped with a sexual harassment claim. Basically we don’t have time for any of them. However, I will try to make some time because they appear to be the only new source of drama and this blog is B-O-R-I-N-G right now.
Monday morning……
Keep in mind its 8am right now and I’m about to go to bed. “today” at rehearsal I pretty much did everthing in the world. We did hand loops, liras(hoops), cargo nets, trampolines, bungee chords, 2 point harness, and I’m sure something else. My hands are blistered and red , my wrists are tender, and my hips and groin are killin. But you know what else is killin me….this little bitch Paul from Australia. He is such a backseat driver baby little prick it drives me wild. He pouts and cries if he doesn’t get something right away and then pouts some more when he gets injured. But all the while is the first to correct somebody or tell them what to do or bitch about 3 remaining water bottles. I really don’t have the energy right now to explain myself but just know I’ve invisioned myself kicking him in his teeth and then tying him up to the cargo net and hurling myself at him repeated until the ropes sever his body into small squares. I’m done y’all.
Back to rehearsal though, my favorite apparatus’ we used were the hand loops, bungee, and cargo net. The hand loops are where you just hang from your wrist and go in circles….i felt like mary poppins or somebody in the Celine Dion show. The cargo net was fun cause we were flipping through it, onto it and around it, climbing it and jumping onto it with a trampoline. The bungee’s however have a slightly different story. I loved them cause I could do back flips and all kinds of stuff but I kinda didn’t like it because I weigh so much. Some comment was made like they’d have add an extra bungee to mine if I did it cause I kept hitting the floor. I couldn’t even do it full out cause I’d smack the floor. Lots of people laughed but mainly cause it was me, the fat kid, and of course I had to have adjustments. The best part was maybe when they initially lifted me up into the air and I didn’t leave the stage cause my weight kept me down. I felt so thin and pretty at that moment…..sigh. but yeah, once I got up and was flipping my bungee started to spin so I stopped, dropped my arms to my side and our rigger came over and grabbed my ankles to stop me. Well, that stopped my lower half but my upper half was still spinning so my arms went out and I ended up slapping him in the face on accident. He was kinda shocked and said this guy just slapped me. I said “and that was for the bungee comment.” Thus ending my rehearsal for the day. Goodnight.
3.13.2008
Last Day
i have no idea where we last left each other but today is the day of my office run .that means that all the office people and all the other casts come into the big rehearsal studio, sit in the bleachers, and watch us perform one of our shows. today we are doing Ever After...our fairy tale show. its gonna be really exciting. we have about 50 travel agents coming to watch about about 4 casts coming as well. i wish i did more dancing in this show but i do get to shake my ass and act a damn fool for 50 minutes so i guess thats ok.
other than that i don't have anything to do. tomorrow is a day off and then saturday we board the ship.
i'm getting pretty good at climbing the ropes and my upper body is getting kinda strong. i put in for the Freedom ship with patrick yesterday and he said he'll put me on the list. that doesn't mean i'm in but hopefully i'll get it. its the sister ship to the one i'm on now and about 5 of my friends are going to be on it. rehearsals start in december so i'll pretty much have 2 months off before working again. 4 months last time was too long. but hopefully after the Freedom i'll have enough money, in my opinion, to move comfortably and support my dreams. haha. AND, if i don't get the freedom, oh well, i'll still have money to move and start up my life. basically its a back up insurance kinda thing just to make sure i'm not homeless in a year. anyways, thats all for now
the end
other than that i don't have anything to do. tomorrow is a day off and then saturday we board the ship.
i'm getting pretty good at climbing the ropes and my upper body is getting kinda strong. i put in for the Freedom ship with patrick yesterday and he said he'll put me on the list. that doesn't mean i'm in but hopefully i'll get it. its the sister ship to the one i'm on now and about 5 of my friends are going to be on it. rehearsals start in december so i'll pretty much have 2 months off before working again. 4 months last time was too long. but hopefully after the Freedom i'll have enough money, in my opinion, to move comfortably and support my dreams. haha. AND, if i don't get the freedom, oh well, i'll still have money to move and start up my life. basically its a back up insurance kinda thing just to make sure i'm not homeless in a year. anyways, thats all for now
the end
3.09.2008
it should be "when cows fly"
ok. so its been some minutes since we've last talked. here's an update....
i'm a penguin in our flying show, all the boys are, but i get to wear a fat suit...that makes two so far...and slide around on the ice. its actually really fun. we've finished all our shows minus the flying elements so now, for the last week here, we will just run our shows over and over and over again.
we had conditioning training yesterday with this guy jeremy who does a lot of the choreo for royal. i've heard some real bad stories about him but he was cool. only had one comment that got to me. so he's watching us all do push ups and then says "thank god i've got skinny boys this time. there's nothing worse than a heffer in the air. you can't do anything with them, or fit them in the costumes." so basically it was a compliment to us all but my WHOLE cast looked over to me when he started saying it. i felt like i had to do something so i just said "at least i can dance good" but yeah, now i'm really strong and can climb a rope. i'm turning into the monkey i've always wanted to be. yessssssssssssss
other than that though there hasn't been any real drama or nothing. i'm having to say goodbye to some really cool people later this week and thats really gonna suck. thats them up there in the picture. alisa and blake and there are a few others but i don't have pictures with them yet. had a nice little chat with blake last night about everything and luckily we see eye to eye. timing and this career is a real big bitch. hopefully one day i'll be able to be with the one person i really want to be with. but i guess this time can be spent on perfecting my career and taking care of my shit so that when i do get to settle down everything will be laid out for me. make sense? not really? sorry
yeah, thats all. think i'm gonna go see a movie tonight. and i hate money. the end
3.05.2008
just a day, just an ordinary day
i had a really bad run through today. oh well. now i'm outside getting eaten alive by mosquitos. my life is so glamorous. yeah, more of the same stuff at rehearsals. doing a lot of stuff i've never done before and trying not to get mad at myself for not getting it right away. but i'm doing ok. the end.
3.04.2008
what time is it???
here's where i am right now. boy dancer kai openly admitted today that he would rather be in the audience than dancing he thinks. let me tell you how much time i have for that. meanwhile i'm sweating my FAT ass off watching what i eat and he marks all day, never sweats and eats whatever fast food pizza shit that he wants. the last thing i really wanna see while i'm dancing and messing up and sweating and cramping is him over there in his ballcap and tennis shoes marking laughing and not knowing the choreography. luckily or teacher today laid into him but he didn't get it. oh well, at least its been said.
something else i don't have time for is karlee right now. she's 19 and has recently sprained her ankle. what part of icing and staying off of it don't we get missy. she got drunk one night, went out dancing and hurt it more. now she can't point it or dance and is really frustrated. however, she refuses to ice it and stay off it. i have no tolerance for that.
now that the negative shit is out of the way rehearsals have been really fun. we're learning stuff for our flying show so we've been practicing on the ice sheets and sliding and turning and doing a lot of "feel good" dancing. its been nice to go in and turn and dance and breathe and relax while i dance instead of trying to execute the crack enduced choreo that is the rest of our shows.
what else, still no sign of my lost clothes and that bothers me. personal life is going well. its been really nice hanging out with blake and a few other people from other casts cause its a chance to get away. and i just made dinner for myself and it was damn damn good.
p.s. i have my whole cast addicted to franks and ranch seasoning on my popcorn. get into it if you haven't already
something else i don't have time for is karlee right now. she's 19 and has recently sprained her ankle. what part of icing and staying off of it don't we get missy. she got drunk one night, went out dancing and hurt it more. now she can't point it or dance and is really frustrated. however, she refuses to ice it and stay off it. i have no tolerance for that.
now that the negative shit is out of the way rehearsals have been really fun. we're learning stuff for our flying show so we've been practicing on the ice sheets and sliding and turning and doing a lot of "feel good" dancing. its been nice to go in and turn and dance and breathe and relax while i dance instead of trying to execute the crack enduced choreo that is the rest of our shows.
what else, still no sign of my lost clothes and that bothers me. personal life is going well. its been really nice hanging out with blake and a few other people from other casts cause its a chance to get away. and i just made dinner for myself and it was damn damn good.
p.s. i have my whole cast addicted to franks and ranch seasoning on my popcorn. get into it if you haven't already
3.02.2008
day off, by the pool
sup y'all. so my life has taken a new interesting turn but its not really about my life but how my life is effecting others, mainly my friends. and i think things done out of spite hurt way more people that it helps. thats all i really wanna say about it. just a teaser
so today, sunday, is my day off. i have laid out by the pool all day and tonight i'm going to dinner and then to see a movie. talk about a perfect day off. oh but first let me tell you about our lead singer who showed up to the pool today in a cheetah print thong. this man is from alabama, thinks he's elvis, and is 38 years old. has buzzed hair and curls just on the front of his head. its real bad. anyways, we're all laying out relaxing and he shows up, drops trou, and flashes his lily white cheetah thonged ass to the world. i seriously threw up dinner from last week. ew
tomorrow for rehearsal we're going to start learning elements of our flying show. we're gonna start using "glice." its this really slippery plastic that simulates ice. you can ice skate on it too. anyways, we're gonna go sliding around on that tomorrow so i'm really excited about that. thats all.
i'm just enjoying the sun and thinking about my friends. miss you all so much. its not the same without you around.
oh, and i have weigh-ins tomorrow. praise jesus
so today, sunday, is my day off. i have laid out by the pool all day and tonight i'm going to dinner and then to see a movie. talk about a perfect day off. oh but first let me tell you about our lead singer who showed up to the pool today in a cheetah print thong. this man is from alabama, thinks he's elvis, and is 38 years old. has buzzed hair and curls just on the front of his head. its real bad. anyways, we're all laying out relaxing and he shows up, drops trou, and flashes his lily white cheetah thonged ass to the world. i seriously threw up dinner from last week. ew
tomorrow for rehearsal we're going to start learning elements of our flying show. we're gonna start using "glice." its this really slippery plastic that simulates ice. you can ice skate on it too. anyways, we're gonna go sliding around on that tomorrow so i'm really excited about that. thats all.
i'm just enjoying the sun and thinking about my friends. miss you all so much. its not the same without you around.
oh, and i have weigh-ins tomorrow. praise jesus
2.29.2008
no good deed goes unpunished
so i'm really tired, i had the worst dancing day of my entire life, i wore about 5 layers of white and horizontal stripes (not really sure what i was thinking this morning whilst i dressed myself, i was retaining water and as Janet says "i was heavy like a first day period," and patrick the casting guy was watching us rehearse all day long. so basically it was the worst day of my entire life. but not really, i mean, my problems are pretty petty specially when people over in africa and the middle east are dying every second. but i'm not there right now, i'm in hollywood florida trying to do my thing.
i had a really great talk last night with a new friend that kinda put everything back into perspective. we were both having similar days and just kinda helped eachother out so it made handling today much much easier. i eventually just accepted that i was the worst dancer in the world today and the second i left the studios i bought myself a diet dr. perpper and turned that frown upside down. also, the thought of chili's later tonight helped JUST A BIT.
anyways, no real news. maybe today was bad so that others could have a good day. maybe i was just doing my good deed for the day. haha
but on a serious note, i FINALLY got the new kylie cd. life is good again. now i can refocus my energies on dancing properly and saving the kids in africa. pshew
i had a really great talk last night with a new friend that kinda put everything back into perspective. we were both having similar days and just kinda helped eachother out so it made handling today much much easier. i eventually just accepted that i was the worst dancer in the world today and the second i left the studios i bought myself a diet dr. perpper and turned that frown upside down. also, the thought of chili's later tonight helped JUST A BIT.
anyways, no real news. maybe today was bad so that others could have a good day. maybe i was just doing my good deed for the day. haha
but on a serious note, i FINALLY got the new kylie cd. life is good again. now i can refocus my energies on dancing properly and saving the kids in africa. pshew
2.28.2008
still a little rusty at this
alright. so......we sat through a run today of another ships show. thank god i have training. it was sad watchin these boys dance. they had no life, no passion, no pointed feet. it hurt. but there were two girls that killed it and they made me smile. i always feel so bad when i talk about other dancers like that but honestly, what was casting thinking. sickled feet, raised shoulders, moving hands while partnering....its just not safe....or pretty. whatever, you don't care about this.
today in rehearsal my girl Karlee, from australia, the future hip hop dancer of the world rolled her ankle. they might be sending her home. that would make 2 people in 2 days. its all kinda frustrating. i'm actually really not happy in rehearsals cause i'm not dancing. i don't dance at all. its just run around and pose and act a fool. don't get me wrong, i'll act like a fool till the cows come home but at the end of the day i want to dance. i want to kick and turn and reach and drag and LIVE. but we don't always get what we want so i'm gonna have to get over it.
another problem i'm having is that i'm letting my personal life get in the way of my rehearsals. i'm not gonna go into detail but its all just a bit fucked right now and i don't know which way i should go with things. just kinda having one of those, "what is my life" right now cycles. you know? no like break down and have a bad day, just mind wanders off and i get lost in thoughts.
lets see what else, i got nothin. OH. we had a going away party for liz last night, even though i think its a little wrong to celebrate someone being sent home. and it was fun. we threw things at pictures of casting directors and had lots and lots of cookies. i left and went to bed. the end
today in rehearsal my girl Karlee, from australia, the future hip hop dancer of the world rolled her ankle. they might be sending her home. that would make 2 people in 2 days. its all kinda frustrating. i'm actually really not happy in rehearsals cause i'm not dancing. i don't dance at all. its just run around and pose and act a fool. don't get me wrong, i'll act like a fool till the cows come home but at the end of the day i want to dance. i want to kick and turn and reach and drag and LIVE. but we don't always get what we want so i'm gonna have to get over it.
another problem i'm having is that i'm letting my personal life get in the way of my rehearsals. i'm not gonna go into detail but its all just a bit fucked right now and i don't know which way i should go with things. just kinda having one of those, "what is my life" right now cycles. you know? no like break down and have a bad day, just mind wanders off and i get lost in thoughts.
lets see what else, i got nothin. OH. we had a going away party for liz last night, even though i think its a little wrong to celebrate someone being sent home. and it was fun. we threw things at pictures of casting directors and had lots and lots of cookies. i left and went to bed. the end
2.27.2008
finally i'm back. i hope you're still here
omg, i bet nobody reads this anymore. i haven't had a computer for months and i really don't wanna talk about it
in fact i'm not really sure what i want to talk about. i think i may just start typing and expect you all to just know what i'm talking about. sure i could tell you about my first few weeks here, all about my cast, the philipeano lady at the doctors office who made me bend over during my physical, spread my ass open with her finger and thumb and goes "welp, all clean." sure i could talk about stuff like that but we're all here for the drama. for the shit talking and dirty underside of my rehearsal process.
sadly, nobody irritates me yet. haha. maybe i've changed for the better. maybe i just don't care enough about some of them to really get worked up about it. all i'm gonna say is that my body is changing, my skills are improving, my closet has less clothes in it cause a package containing THEM and a computer went missing.....so that makes both contracts that i'm had clothes taken from me. awesome. um, yeah, so from now on i will just be talking about expect you to just know. i'll give some background but don't expect bios.
today in rehearsal i got introuble for slapping my foot during a battement. for you non dancers i was kickin my face and slapped my foot thus looking fierce but making a loud sound. sad part is i didn't even realize i was doing it. oh well, when you's fierce you's fierce. haha. um, yeah.
so i'm at some deli checkin my emails with a friend so i'm gonna go. i'll talk to you soon. get ready. OH, here's what i'll do, i'll paste and email i just sent to my last cast. enjoy
...
ok ok ok. lets get into this....
so i haven't had a computer for, well, since november. i just bought a mac so i'm cool like jeff and all my clothes got stolen from the post office as they were being sent to me from home. thats all i'm gonna say about that.
rehearsals are as follows....FIERCE. i was made for this company. fuck that siletto bullshit. yes i have an attitude and yes i wear my emotions on my face but so help me god if you judge me for it. haha. just kidding. i just fit in better with the people here i think. even though this patrick guy at casting is workin my last damn nerve. I GET IT, I'M BIG. maybe if you wouldn't have cast me with boys that literally weigh 125 pounds there wouldn't be an issue. i'll get into that in a minute. but yeah, the dancing is hard and tricky and i get to shake my shit. i come up on the pit crumping as tweedle dee. or tweedle diva as my choreographer calls me. here's a funny story...the guy beside me in one dance asked if i would tone it down so that he would look better. i'll let you imagine my reaction to that. here's a hint, i turned a double pirouette into 6 and stopped on releve and just looked at him...during a run. such a cunt.
um so you remember how mash would always call me stupid whenever i would open my mouth....well with this cast it has escalated to, "i'm gonna kill you." i'm the one in the cast that calls everybody out. but not in a malicious way at all, just a really funny cunty way. you know what i'm saying? ew, i sound really full of myself. i think its cause i did a back extention roll for the first time the other day and now i think i'm the best dancer in the world. up so yeah, we've learned both our shows and we'll learn our flying show on the ship in a few weeks. lets talk about my cast.
i'm not going to sit here and list all 18 people cause i don't have the patience for that but i'll hit the highlights. well, maybe i will.
SINGERS - drake, thomas, nick, andrea, hannah, and erin. fierce fierce fierce. except for drake, he's 38, akward as all fuck and we've already slapped him with a sexual harassment case. douche.
DANCERS - Karen, Kim, Karlee, Kyle, Kai, Curtiss, Liz, Elisa, Franchesca, Laura, and Paul. liz just got sent home today for an injury but she was lazy anyways. everybody is real cool and real relaxed. we're all bitter and sarcastic but real laid back. its nice. nobody well be my deepest dearest friends like you guys are but its a good time. karlee and paul are from australia and i have now seen EVERY kylie minogue dvd, cd, concert, and anything else. i'm in heaven. liz was from belgium. hannah from london. kai is from hawaii, and franchesca and laura are from italy. crazy world huh. kyle is from point park and me and curtiss are both from dallas and both from ocu. SO SUCK ON THAT. all the boys are crazy flexible, like jess beck flexible and can kick their janelle like forheads. i may not be bendy but i'll be damn if they're gonna out dance this piece of work. holler. anyways. the boys range from 5'5 - 5'8 and about 120-140 pounds. i come in at a comfortable 5'10 and 195. life is good. i wear a fat suit for the fairytale show and when i'm a dwarf my shirt says Heavy D. also, they just call me boyFloor instead of Boy4 because i'm always running across stage and sliding around like a beached f-ing whale. WHY GOD. WHY.
OH, i bought a pair of victoria secret sweats the other week and wear them all the time. i called nitty right away. they are green and have baby blue PINK on the but. i love them.
what else, um, i miss you all so much and i talk about you all the time. we had a tacky day and i orchestrated it and i brought my harmonica with me and play songs for people all the time. and everytime curtiss and kyle make out or kiss i fucking blow my harmonica. its wonderful. stissy, we need to meet up and have sweet duets, jeff, you can come too. OH and my cast calls me Mia cause they said i'm a dykey blonde lesbian like mia michaels and they say i dance like her. i say thanks.
i'll write more when i'm more ogranized and find out what my life really is right now. i love you all so much. its not even funny. mash, you have not been replaced cause i can't talk about black people around curtiss. its not as fun. sigh.
love you,
Jeb
p.s. i'm really drunk
p.s.s. i really like you and this joke will never get old to me.
p.s.s.s. peter, i left all the grammar for you. enjoy hooker
in fact i'm not really sure what i want to talk about. i think i may just start typing and expect you all to just know what i'm talking about. sure i could tell you about my first few weeks here, all about my cast, the philipeano lady at the doctors office who made me bend over during my physical, spread my ass open with her finger and thumb and goes "welp, all clean." sure i could talk about stuff like that but we're all here for the drama. for the shit talking and dirty underside of my rehearsal process.
sadly, nobody irritates me yet. haha. maybe i've changed for the better. maybe i just don't care enough about some of them to really get worked up about it. all i'm gonna say is that my body is changing, my skills are improving, my closet has less clothes in it cause a package containing THEM and a computer went missing.....so that makes both contracts that i'm had clothes taken from me. awesome. um, yeah, so from now on i will just be talking about expect you to just know. i'll give some background but don't expect bios.
today in rehearsal i got introuble for slapping my foot during a battement. for you non dancers i was kickin my face and slapped my foot thus looking fierce but making a loud sound. sad part is i didn't even realize i was doing it. oh well, when you's fierce you's fierce. haha. um, yeah.
so i'm at some deli checkin my emails with a friend so i'm gonna go. i'll talk to you soon. get ready. OH, here's what i'll do, i'll paste and email i just sent to my last cast. enjoy
...
ok ok ok. lets get into this....
so i haven't had a computer for, well, since november. i just bought a mac so i'm cool like jeff and all my clothes got stolen from the post office as they were being sent to me from home. thats all i'm gonna say about that.
rehearsals are as follows....FIERCE. i was made for this company. fuck that siletto bullshit. yes i have an attitude and yes i wear my emotions on my face but so help me god if you judge me for it. haha. just kidding. i just fit in better with the people here i think. even though this patrick guy at casting is workin my last damn nerve. I GET IT, I'M BIG. maybe if you wouldn't have cast me with boys that literally weigh 125 pounds there wouldn't be an issue. i'll get into that in a minute. but yeah, the dancing is hard and tricky and i get to shake my shit. i come up on the pit crumping as tweedle dee. or tweedle diva as my choreographer calls me. here's a funny story...the guy beside me in one dance asked if i would tone it down so that he would look better. i'll let you imagine my reaction to that. here's a hint, i turned a double pirouette into 6 and stopped on releve and just looked at him...during a run. such a cunt.
um so you remember how mash would always call me stupid whenever i would open my mouth....well with this cast it has escalated to, "i'm gonna kill you." i'm the one in the cast that calls everybody out. but not in a malicious way at all, just a really funny cunty way. you know what i'm saying? ew, i sound really full of myself. i think its cause i did a back extention roll for the first time the other day and now i think i'm the best dancer in the world. up so yeah, we've learned both our shows and we'll learn our flying show on the ship in a few weeks. lets talk about my cast.
i'm not going to sit here and list all 18 people cause i don't have the patience for that but i'll hit the highlights. well, maybe i will.
SINGERS - drake, thomas, nick, andrea, hannah, and erin. fierce fierce fierce. except for drake, he's 38, akward as all fuck and we've already slapped him with a sexual harassment case. douche.
DANCERS - Karen, Kim, Karlee, Kyle, Kai, Curtiss, Liz, Elisa, Franchesca, Laura, and Paul. liz just got sent home today for an injury but she was lazy anyways. everybody is real cool and real relaxed. we're all bitter and sarcastic but real laid back. its nice. nobody well be my deepest dearest friends like you guys are but its a good time. karlee and paul are from australia and i have now seen EVERY kylie minogue dvd, cd, concert, and anything else. i'm in heaven. liz was from belgium. hannah from london. kai is from hawaii, and franchesca and laura are from italy. crazy world huh. kyle is from point park and me and curtiss are both from dallas and both from ocu. SO SUCK ON THAT. all the boys are crazy flexible, like jess beck flexible and can kick their janelle like forheads. i may not be bendy but i'll be damn if they're gonna out dance this piece of work. holler. anyways. the boys range from 5'5 - 5'8 and about 120-140 pounds. i come in at a comfortable 5'10 and 195. life is good. i wear a fat suit for the fairytale show and when i'm a dwarf my shirt says Heavy D. also, they just call me boyFloor instead of Boy4 because i'm always running across stage and sliding around like a beached f-ing whale. WHY GOD. WHY.
OH, i bought a pair of victoria secret sweats the other week and wear them all the time. i called nitty right away. they are green and have baby blue PINK on the but. i love them.
what else, um, i miss you all so much and i talk about you all the time. we had a tacky day and i orchestrated it and i brought my harmonica with me and play songs for people all the time. and everytime curtiss and kyle make out or kiss i fucking blow my harmonica. its wonderful. stissy, we need to meet up and have sweet duets, jeff, you can come too. OH and my cast calls me Mia cause they said i'm a dykey blonde lesbian like mia michaels and they say i dance like her. i say thanks.
i'll write more when i'm more ogranized and find out what my life really is right now. i love you all so much. its not even funny. mash, you have not been replaced cause i can't talk about black people around curtiss. its not as fun. sigh.
love you,
Jeb
p.s. i'm really drunk
p.s.s. i really like you and this joke will never get old to me.
p.s.s.s. peter, i left all the grammar for you. enjoy hooker
1.28.2008
the first official blog of the new contract
so the time has come to pack my stuff and head back out to sea. lets be honest. i don't want to. but its a job and i'm dancing and even though i have to go shirtless, i will make it work. i mean, if they wanna put a big girl out there with her junk floppin in the airs then be my guest...i'll freakin paint a smiley face on my tummy and hit the stage like WHOA.
i'll be dancing with Royal Caribbean on the Liberty of the Seas cruising through the caribbean. like a pirate. i'm johnny depp. anyways, its FUCKING HUGE. thats the only real way to describe it. i'll tell you more about the shows and my cast of 18 once i get to know them. not gonna lie, not really looking forward to meeting 18 new people. although, i've been working on some introductions for myself when we have to go around and introduce myself. here are some preliminary options:
"hey y'all, my name is jeb, i'm from fort worth TEXAS, and i don't know any of you"
"hi, i'm jeb and i was looking through my bible last night and i found this passage that really says what i'm feeling...(opens bible to read)"
"hi, i'm jeb, i'm pretty good, i'm pretty overweight, and lets face it, i'm pretty pretty"
"hey y'all, i'm jeb and here's a song i wrote for you all on my harmonica...(plays a song)"
"hi, i'm jeb, three little letters, just jeb, its not short for ANYTHING"
"hey, jeb here, and chances are half of you are going to annoy the shit out of me. glad thats out of the way, whats up?"
so those are just a few things running through my mind, whadda think? holler and welcome back to this wonderful life changing blog.
as of today i weigh 202 pounds........OF LOVE
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