11.18.2007

hold up stop, wait a minute


i'm going to take a break. this blog will pick up again in january when i have more new people to talk about. get excited. you'll know when its back up an running. until then occupy your time online looking at porn or watching videos or shopping for things you don't need. love you

11.13.2007

HEY GIRL, now's your chance

you know what would be funny.....if i had my own dating show like Tila Tequilla or I Love New York. i'd call it HEY GIRL and it would be only hot guys and all my girls would help me pick the best one for me...or for my friend. maybe that would be the spin. i'm tryin to think of my line when i have to get rid of the douchy ones and so far it might be something like "bye gay" or something cute like that.

anyways, i just taught a dance class in okc...something i vowed never to do again but i did and all two girls showed up. haha. awesome

but the big news is that i'm going to my sisters xmas party for work and i will get to see all 3 of my readers. i hope they are not let down by my shyness in person...or taken back by my slammin body or killer good lookds.

the end

11.09.2007

um

i'm in okc. nothing really dramatic happens here. nothing really funny, this blog is slackin and i can't think of a moral way to kick things up a notch.

11.05.2007

an email i just sent to my cast, it explains pretty much everything

ok, first things first.....

shaunacy, my name is spelled with a UX. get on that

mashawn, i can't deal. i miss you like a brother and i think thats cause i have some black blood in me. its where i get my lumps and my jukes and jives, and maybe my thighs and me sweet rhymes.

peter, i can't formulate what i want to say to you. i have so much but can't get it out. so i'll leave you with this....sweat pants are all that fit me right now

natalie, where are you lets go be in legally blonde together. since i'm partially african american i can do the hip hop required of the boy dancers

jeff, i hope you got, recieved, and loved that beauty pageant girl playing her trumpet. i need your feedback asap

stacy, i think i'm in love with you. for real, i can't stop thinking about you and thinking of ways i can take sonic out. i hope your cast of 20's is being nice and i hope that 5 of them get pregnant. i like charlie, we have talked, he is ok in my book

kim, i talked to you recently, thank you for the update, i miss you and will talk to you soon

janelle, i still hate you and thank you for the fake ass email about how jeff and i looked at boys. IT WAS ME AND ME ALONE YOU DUMB SLUT. GO CURL YOUR FUCKED UP HAIR AND TOSS IT ABOUT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE FOREARM....and POWDER YOUR DAMN FOREHEAD

andrea - LATIN



so yeah, i'm not even gonna try to compete with shaunacy's email cause that shit was brilliant but i will give you this attempt. first off i still email jess like she'll write back. guess i'm a dumbass. awesome. i just got back from new mexico where i was put into shackles and torn cotton pants and put to work. no offense mashawn but i'm half black you see. let me just tell you how many pecans a pecan tree has...TOO FUCKIN MANY FOR ME TO PICK UP BY HAND. after i climbed the roof like romeo the monkey and then scoured the yard like romeo pickin fleas i set out to wash the windows. you see, it was too cold to do so in the morning so i had to wait all day. i had to first was the brick down, then wash the windows, then let that dry. then i had to go over the outside of the windows with a vinegar/water solution and sgueegie that off. then i had to windex, wipe off with a paper towel, then another dry paper towel and then go over the whole thing with a dry, lint free towel. for the inside of the windows i just had to do the windex steps. now, the gorrish details. there were about 20 windows to clean, thats 40 if you count the paynes, and half of them are FLOOR TO CEILING and cover large rooms, and the other half are covered by MEXICAN BARS to keep the mesicans out. talk about a bitch. anyways, i did it, spent some quality time with my granparents and my crazy ass uncle and moved on with my life.....let me just give you a few stories my uncle shared with me. he is going to cure HIV (i had so many gay jokes lined up but instead i just said a prayer and said "phew, my hiv is really startin to itch"), he then told me how that would happen using only the technical terms. he talked to me about how he needs some. how his khaki pants give him cramps cause of the chemicals used to make them. and he told me the bread is making him fat and then made me feel his stomach. now my uncle is a certified genious, for real, but you see he's gone fucking nuts. something snapped in him and then he thought he knew who killed kennedy and wears foil in his shoes and is now in his 40's divorced and lives with his 80 year old parents. i'm gonna leave that alone cause i don't think you really care.

p.s. i'm writing this like i would my blog. and for those of you who have forgotten you can find that at www.thediaryofjebfrank.blogspot.com. shameless plug but a necessary one. in fact i will be posting this email there. um so yeah back to my stories.

i think thats all. i'm spending my time between here and okc. matt is doing well and he's growing up nicely. he's still a babe and i'm still crazy for him so i guess he's doing something right. we both crush on this boy named kaleb (he's bam bam in the halloween pictures)but he's a hot whorish mess so its gonna stay that way. my friend drew is going through his slut phase of the post breakup life and i couldn't be more supportive. i'm like, SUCH a good friend. p.p.s he saw mean girls for the first time and now our friendship has a whole new level to it. um, i just cleaned out my closet....over 150 items now gone, still counting. and i have 30 pairs of shoes. it was like xmas when i got home and saw all my clothes. um yeah. my add is in overtime right now. i'm wearing a pink shirt and purple cut off sweats. i look good. i'm fat though and that needs to change. i'm thinking about taking a brick to my ribs and knocking em down a few sizes. my favorite song right now is my Ingrid Michaelson and its called Keep Breathing. i choreographed a dance to it for a class and you can find that video on my myspace page and then you can all tell me how fantastic i am. and i'm sending my contract in tomorrow. how weird is that??? and also, i don't even have to, i can just show up with it. weird. i hope they have one other dancer who's fatter than me so i don't get all the shit. and let me end with this.....why did i get so much shit for my weight when the cast that all replaced us are a bunch of slut drunk heffers. i rest my case. i love you all and have started taking anti-depressants to cope with that lose.

jeb

mash - hope the black jokes didn't make you cry, or want to gangbang driveby murder me. i've had no contact with half your people and well, i just wanted you to say "stupid" when you read this. the end

hey, watch ME dance, not those other ones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na90yWIQ2yU

there is a link of me dancing in a class i taught the other week. i'm the black chunk of flesh on your right. yes, thats is MY right leg. and lets be honest, you're here to watch me so don't watch those other boys...but they're good. i'll leave this link till i have a better video to load. bye bye

yessa masta

ok listen. as soon as i finish my slave labor for the day i will post about my adventures in New Mexico: The Land of Enchantment....my ass. but before that i'm just going to vent.

this little blog thing of mine had intentions of world wide fame. much like myself. but i'm realizing i'm just not that interesting and nothing that amazing happens to me(however, i feel i would read better on film so thats why i'm gonna start searching for producers and get my own tv show. maybe i'll call it fat bitch. who knows) but in order to get readers or SOMETHING i'm thinkin i may have to resort to posting naked pictures of boys. that always gets a few thousand queens readin my shit. i mean, if i had a sweet 23444pack i'd just show shirtless pictures of myself but i don't and last i checked a nice little love cushion wasn't selling ticktes. anyways, if i have to resort to porn on my blog then so be it. kinda feel like my real life, if dancin doesn't work out i can always use my flexiblity on film, getting paid, bringin joy to all the lonely pathetic single gay men obessed with porn.

sorry mom, its time you face the real world. its not all about costumes and dance steps.

10.29.2007

looking forward to tomorrow

so i just got home to texas. haven't been here since last january. i'm going to work on an entry for tomorrow of all the things i've encountered since being home. i'll leave you with a little preview......The Texas Civil War Museum on my way home.....hold your breath

10.28.2007

i've lost my sparkle




last night was a halloween party at OCU and i went cause matt goes there. i was a unicorn. i had some shiny fabric around my waist, some rainbow slippers, and i glittered a cone and put it on my forehead. i also covered my body in glitter, tied yarn in my hair to make a mane, and had ice crystals on my face. also, i was drunk but not really

matt went as a sperm donation. he dressed in all white, i made him a sperm tail, and he walked around inside a plastic cup that said sperm bank. "you do the jerk, we'll do the work"

and lizzy went as a pinata. she's mexican and fringed fabric all over herself. she won. see picture above.

we had a good night though. i hung out with the 5 people that like me and we had a grand time in the bedroom just laughing and watching matt knock things over with his cup and me with my horn. aftewards we went to taco bell. i drove with my horn outside the window and the lady at taco bell did not think our car(filled with a unicorn, a sperm, a pinata, bam bam, and a girl from the wedding singer) was very humorous. i think she gave me a lecture about being safe tonight. i think i said something about how my horn would take care of us and thank you.

i made a new friend. his name is kaleb. apparently he's a big ol mess but he's really funny and really cute. and lizzy and i talk about kaleb all day cause it makes matt mad. matt used to crush on him so i give him a hard time and always talk about that boy kaleb. but you know how you make fun of something so much you start to like it. i prolly have a crush on him now. haha. he's 18. that is trouble. and i love how mad it makes matt. but i just got told to drop the kaleb thing. i can never have any fun. he's the bam bam in the above pictures. also, allison, MY GIRL, is rainbow bright with matt

i don't feel good. i'll drive home tomorrow.

p.s. saw miss ocu last night. words can't describe slash it was the quietest miss ocu i've ever been to. some slut won. and some asian girl sang "wouldn't it be loverly" from My Fair Lady the musical. she sang about how a 6 year old would sing, and she was pigeon toed, and she smiled really really awkwardly and i think caressed the mic stand at one point. and this other girl, sharra rivera wore high waisted country jeans cause the opening number was Oklahoma....she was the only one

10.26.2007

le villi

went to an opera tonight at ocu. it was fucked up. i appreciate the no english thing but i do not appreciate the self-costumed anorexic boys. and by self dressed i mean leather pants. what are you thinking. leather pants for a vampire opera. this isn't the copa/abbey/S4/Therapy/Pure/Liquid/or whatever that club in LA where mashawn goes....i forget the name right now, i am too thrown off by the leather pants. NOT TO MENTION the lace up jazz shoes. TIME OUT. i thought those were banned. if you don't know what i'm talking about check out any dance movie from the 80's. the only good part about the opera was the singing, amara, and the shirtless boys in the ensemble. granted most of them were about as big as my arm but there was 1 that was cute. matt had a crush on him but now i do...just to make him mad. haha. anyways, this isn't going anywhere. maybe i'll pass out like marie osmand and give y'all something to talk about.......thud

10.25.2007

another random list

oklahoma is getting better. matt is very good

i'm going as a unicorn for halloween (stole it from shaunacy...but she didn't have rainbow slippers slash hoofs)(how do you spell hoofs)

i taught a class last night and i think it went really well. there are some amazing freshman here, its nice to see

my favorite artist right now is Ingrid Michaelson

i like pie

i haven't been to the gym, i am a bad person

some part of me is holding off on replying to royal carribean. i just can't turn my info in

next week i'll be in new mexico making 1,000,000 dollars cleaning my grandmothers windows

i'm struggling to come up with blog ideas to keep this interesting. help me out. let me hear your ideas.

i think thats all

10.21.2007

oklahomouncomfortable


so i did nothing today. not a damn thing. i watched all of season 2 and 3 of so you think you can dance and i'm danced out. i have no desire to go on another cruise ship and just want to dance contemporary for the rest of my life....or until my knees go out. um, went to the mall today with my friend todd to watch him get his hair cut. keep in mind i'm in oklahoma again and so the conversation with the hairdresser was interesting and awkward. todd went to one of those master cuts type place and it was bootleg from minute go. black lady behind the counter sayin how her 11.5 years experience knows better that todd don't want no military haircut. then fatty who was cuttin his hair started talkin about how she hates musicals and then all the patrons were agreeing. then i said something about dancing, todd caught my drift and then the conversation moved to homosexuals. my favorite part was watching this country cow try to understand and relate to us talkin about how she "knows one" and he always goes to that "dance club." then she told us how she went to that club and watched a really funny show where the guys "you know, dress up like girls" and dance around. said it was really good. i proceeded to stand up, sing some wicked, kick my face and take my gay ass out of master cuts. holler. god knows they thought we were sleeping together cause all gays are the same and do that.

i didn't really sing or battement my face, but i did however sing a little "Get me bodied" when it came on over the radio. actually that was yesterday but i thought it would help this story a little so there you have it. walk across the floor like naomi campbell walk!

10.19.2007

call me bitches

my phone is working again. you may call me now


i don't really wanna get into how its working just know i'm not proud of what i had to do

10.18.2007

here's some random


some random things from my day...


  1. i got a new phone, still can't call me though. it was free and i use the cover as a mirror. hot
  2. i like buffalo chicken
  3. i had a high figer cereal for breakfast......yep
  4. finally had a solid poo in 7 months. those ships are killer on your intestines
  5. i like the following new shows, alot: weeds, pushing daisies, and private practice
  6. haven't been to the gym since i've been home but lost 5 pounds
  7. i have a bananna a day and i like it. i also like soy milk
  8. i bought some plants for lizzy's fish Randy.
  9. callie is my favorite character on Grey's Anatomy
  10. i miss my cast
  11. i'm ready to dance
  12. i miss dude'r, my dog

10.17.2007

he said she said i said BYE BITCH


hello readers, i give you a friendly dialogue between me and the sprint store. i will be "J" they will be "S1" and "S2" she will be one and he will be two and my internal monologue will be in (...). let us begin


wednesday afternoon, its raining


s1: hello and welcome to sprint. BORN TO BE FAMOUS. HAHAHAHAHAHA

j: (this girl think she's funny reading my shirt to me)

s1: how may i help you today

j: ok, here's my story. i recently got back into the country and have been trying to reactivate my phone since friday of last week. i have been dealing with sprint customer service over the phone and even gone to other sprint stores where they told me 'customer service should fucking help you' and now i am able to send and recieve texts and am able to call people but am unable to recieve calls.

s1: ok what is your number, blah blah blah

j: do you have any idea what is wrong with my phone

s2: usually if you don't pay your bills the first sign is that you can recieve calls but can't call out.

j: right, which is why my balance is zero and i am able to call out

s1: (still typing at the computer)do you have insurance on your phone?

j: no

s1: wow, that wasn't very smart

j:(you fucking whore) thank you

s1: now you will have to pay for whatever is wrong with your phone

j: whatever is wrong with my phone?

s1: here is a bill showing the estimated cost of repair

j: hold up, can we talk about this before you just start asking for money? am i available for an upgrade, how much time do i have left on my contract?

s1: i saw you looking at the "upstage" phone, you can get $150 taken off

j: do i have any limitations or only certain phones i can upgrade to? how much with the "upstage" be with my discount?

s1: let me see.....it will be $200

j: so what was it before the upgrade money?

s1: its $300 without your rebate.

j: and you're telling me that with my 150 off i'll still pay 200 dollars? (really, can you work a calculator you stupid stupid woman? also, i'm hungry)

s1: yes. here. (hands me a red and a black upgrade in their box for me to look at. whoa bitch, slow down)

j: um, thank you?

s1: do you like this phone???

j: yeah, do you know whats wrong with my phone?

s1: i'm waiting for my technitian to look at it

j: where is he?

s1: outside talking on the phone

j: gosh, i'm sorry for inconvieniencing you all at work


he comes, looks at my phone and takes it back to the back, he is s2 from earlier. lets also keep in mind that during all this they are speaking in some Shakira type spanish/arabic language to eachother and on the phone and then a really bad english accent to me. i thought i just left Turkey, why is it following me back to OKC. ugh. anyways i'm walking around the store, i'm the only one in there this entire time and then bitch starts tryin to have small talk with me.


s1: construction workers usually get that phone

j: (awesome, i was dying to know) yep

s1: so you don't have work today?

j: no, i just got back to the country, i was overseas working, remember?

s1: what do you do?

j: i'm a dancer (don't fuckin look at me like this, you still have sauce on your mouth from the lunch you were eating when i walked in)

s1: .......

j: i'm not an exotic dancer, i do ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop, contemporary, lyrical, clogging, and square dancing

s1: oh good, i was worried

j: (dumbass)

s2: ok, it will be 55 dollars to fix your phone

j: whats wrong with it?

s2: well, there is something with the chip that is messing up. your phone is well, its, its tired

j: .......

s2: yes, its tired

j: oh ok, i'll take it home and give her a little nap

s2: so yeah, i'll just take your phone and we'll put in the work order

j: you still have my phone

s2: oh yeah

j: yeah, i'm gonna fix it on my own, i'll take my phone back and fix it myself

s2: ok, i'll go put your phone together


he leaves and i kill some more time and then have to go talk to s1 again


j: yes i was wondering one last thing. could you tell me how much longer i have left on my contract

s1: sure, what is your number?

j: (seriously? again? jesus) 817-blah blah blah- blah blah blah blah

s1: ok, may i see your phone (and she takes it apart again)


customer walks in and she says "hi, welcome to sprint how can i help you" and then proceeds to help him with his problems. i proceed to walk over to s2 and ask him, he moves the coffee and papers off the computer, asks for my number, starts looking up stuff and tells me that i can download some software and that will help my problem a little, and then goes "shiiiiiiit". "s1 will you help this man with his contract information while i show our new customer our phones?"


s1: ok, whats you're number again

j: seriously? so i tell her


she then tells me how much longer i have and i take my phone and leave the store. on my way out she thanked me for stopping in and said she will see me again. i said YOU SURE WILL. nope. bye sprint. i'd rather pay 200 to break my contract and 200 to buy a new phone than get a shitty upgrade with a shitty new phone(they had NO choices cause i don't want a f-ing razor) with a company that can't turn my phone back on cause its "tired"

10.15.2007

and i quote.....


"Remember Jeb...I really need you fit...Hit the GYM and be at your best!!!!!!! "


what is this? what does this mean? does the whole dance world think i'm obese? i hate not having a 6 pack. anorexia slash excerexia begins now. and what the fuck about "be at your best..." who do they think i am. they should know better. ew

facebook

what the fuck is facebook now? i left the country back in april when facebook was your picture, some background info, a poke, and a wall. 6 months later i get home and suddenly facebook can wipe your ass and make you feel important and loved. what the hell is this stuff? why do i care who my top friends are or how many people have me as a top friend or who has given me a superlative or how sexy i am or what mood i'm in or what shitty picture i can draw my friend on a "fun wall" or give my friends a round of drinks or get attacked by a fucking vampire or have videos and songs. what is this shit i ask you. what need does this satisfy? the need to feel loved? to feel special and wanted? do these kids just sit on facebook all day and waste away talking to eachother and drawing pretty little pictures to eachother? you can't stalk on facebook anymore so i don't see the fun in it. i think its gay as hell and frankly i hate it. AND if i wasn't so damned popular i wouldn't totally get rid of facebook

10.14.2007

welcome home

woke up and did 7 pirouettes. oh yeah

p.s. it was really good to see my family and matt and lizzy and stephen again. one girl asked what happened to my voice and i was this close to telling her i had a vocal chord transplant in italy. dumb girl

p.s.s. its like i never left this little town of oklahoma city

10.11.2007

last day, last hours, and this ship smells like asshole

so its our last day and i can't wait to get off this f-ing ship. things are so difficult here with 50 people telling you 50 different things. andrea is pulling out all the stops and fucking around with boys in the pool at 3 am, making out with boys who have girl friends, and having desperate boys leaving love notes under her door. we got our shows video taped and they are COMPLETE SHIT. the sound doesn't sync up with the video and he camera man does minute long close-ups of knees, boobs, cooters, a random empty space on stage. its just bad. we have been screaming since we got the videos at noon. carly and i are sitting here bored out of our minds cause we're all done packing and everything is checked. la la la. the gifts of being organized. i hope matt is ready for me cause i'm gonna be in rare form. get ready bubs. anyways, this is unorganized and i'm skipping all the drama. i'll end with saying i haven't been passanger friendly since i woke up this morning and they can suck my $%(#. the end. home sweet home here i come. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. i'll reflect later on

10.10.2007

1 day left

i leave in a day. i'll spend tomorrow reflecting on this cruise job seeing as how thats what this blog is about slash i'll try to think of something funny and negative to talk about. one more day then i'm home free for a while. praise him

10.07.2007

"listen to your sister and if she's wrong you can punch her"

Well, I spent the day in the Holy Land and only cussed twice. I’d say that’s pretty damn good.

First stop of the day was the Mt. Of Olives. Actually before I get to that let me just start by saying I know nothing about the religion I claim as my own. And after spending a day learning about Jesus and his last few days on earth, I can say I still don’t know much about Christianity but I can say that the day made me think long and hard about organized religion and various related topics, most of which were spear headed by seeing a gay couple at the Church of the Sepulchre(the site of the crucifixion and burial of Jesus)…but we’ll get to that a little later, if at all. Back to the Mt. Of Olives. This is the area of Jesus’ last prayer, his arrest, and a great spot to overlook Jerusalem and old Jerusalem. It looks upon the western gate, or the golden gate, which remains closed until the coming of the messiah. You can see the massive walls surrounding Old Jerusalem and suddenly all of Sunday school comes rushing back to me. It was so weird to see the place I had grown up hearing about and reading about in Sunday school. And even though I hated church with almost every fiber of my being, seeing the setting for some of the stories was awe-inspiring. Some dude was up there with a camel wanting to give rides and take pictures and then there were people selling postcards and pictures and stuffed camels. But once you learned to ignore them, or just sneak in a camel picture of your own, it was cool to look out over the city. On the side of the hill was a Jewish cemetery. It looked like the rice fields in Asia carved into rows on the sides of the mountains. Above ground graves on the west side of the old city waiting for the messiah to bring them back into the city. Or at least that’s what I gathered from my Palestinian tour guide.

Next stop was the garden and the Sanctuary of Gethsemane. This is where Jesus was betrayed by Judas, arrested, and said his final prayer before doing who know what. It was a simple garden with 8 olive trees who are said to be the 8 witnesses of Jesus’ agony and last prayer. The coolest part was the 2000 year old olive tree that he prayed under and still bares fruit. I took my picture by it. Then we went inside the church and it was guilded like no other and at the front of the altar was a rock that was on the ground and everybody was kneeling before it, touching it, and saying a prayer. I’m thinking it was either the “rock of agony”. It’s the original rock. Outside the church was another rock with a carvin in it. Although not the original I feel, this is where Jesus was so worried bout us he sweat blood. Or maybe that was the rock of agony, either way I don’t know but it was very interesting.

Next stop was mt. Zion. We went to a church that was built on the outskirts of the northern entrance to the old city where the last supper was held. It was empty.
We went into mt. Zion and through the gates and entered the old city. We saw some roman pillars, not sure what they are. And we made our way through the Stations of the Cross to the church of the Sepulchre. I didn’t get to hear anything about the various stations because our tour guide was awful and would leave us behind and then get mad when we couldn’t find him. I digress. we walked down part of the Via Delorosa. I did a lyrical dance because it’s the most overplayed Christian lyrical solo song, even though Lauren Linville’s solo to it was gorgeous and inspired and won 1st overall at nationals. I digress further. I have no idea what this church is or what its significance is or anything about it. Afterwards on the bus ride home I realized just what I saw. This is how bad our tour guide was. This is what I saw inside the church: the window to the right of the front door is the exact spot where Jesus was crucified. Inside directly in front of you is the actual slab of stone Jesus was prepared for burial on. To the right, up the stairs was an altar with Jesus and his two marys on either side over the crack in the earth that occurred when he did. It’s the actual crack. To the left of the front door is the tomb of Jesus located in a big rotunda called the Anastasia. The entire church was built over the site of Jesus’ last hours spent on earth. There were rocks and pillars behind glass in the walls of the church or in altars around the church. There were layers and layers, basements and a floor…this church was literally built around the site of crucifixion. I had no idea during my 30 minutes at this church the importance of where I was or what I could have touched and prayed over.

And now a moment of refection: Since I was so unaffected at the time I WAS affected by an attractive, sporty, gay couple who were holding hands in front of Jesus’ tomb. Something about that moment was so profound to me that I just stood back and thought to myself for a little bit. The battle between being homosexual and being Christian is something that I’ve fought my entire life it seems. And then here, at the most sacred place in the Christian world was an out and affectionate gay couple. How could these things exist at the same time? My mind raced around all the different religions and beliefs I’ve come across in my day and I realized just how negative and restrictive Christianity is. I can accept Jesus as my savior yet I can’t love who I can’t help but love? How is that so? I am accepted as a peer but my lifestyle condemns me? I don’t understand it. I didn’t then and I sure as hell don’t know now. I look at the eastern religions and it’s more of the same only less harsh at times. All these religions accept Jesus as a prophet yet Christianity won’t accept their messiahs as prophets. Why is that? Then I’m watching CNN and its saying how the Muslims are telling their people that their chosen one is returning and god will send Jesus down to help buffer and mediate the confusion of the Christians and he will tell the Christians that the only way to be is Muslim. What is this? Why are these major religions so hell-bent on dominating and being the only true religion? I don’t really want to be a part of that I think. That’s not really my style. Although my thoughts are still young in their conception I feel as though all the major religions point to one main “being”, one God if you will. I believe there is something out there and something that unites us all but I don’t think it’s strictly Jesus, or strictly Muhammad or Buddha, or that fool out there in Utah or found a book and gave us Mormons. It think those people are a path to the greater being but I don’t think one is more legit that the other….accept for that Mormon guy, I just don’t buy it. But back to my point, I think if you are spiritual in your own life and find your own way to God, or Allah, or whomever; you have achieved your religion and your spirituality. I like the way to Buddhists and others put it….when you achieve your utmost enlightenment you are complete, you’re at your nirvana. Its just something cool to think about. I’m not sold on the idea of heaven either yet I still imagine myself sitting on my little cloud with my golden hair and white robe watching the world from afar. My thoughts took me to the book of revelations and the second coming, or first coming depending on your views. I want to watch it from afar; I want to see just what happens. I want to be proven to that all this studying and schooling is for something real. That has been my issue with religion from the beginning. It’s a matter of blind faith and sometimes I just like to have things proven to me. Maybe that touches on something deeper in my psyche or maybe its just how things are. And to come full circle, this trip to Jerusalem and the sites depicted in the stories of the bible, things proven true to me. Jesus was in that garden, Jesus was crucified on that spot, and Jesus was buried at the point. Jesus was a real person. So if that means that I’ve accepted more Christian beliefs then so be it but I still stand behind what I said earlier about finding your own way to God. I do know however that I want to raise my children, if I get to that point, in a church and let them decide for themselves after all the morals and teachings have taken root J Whatever, I’m just a dancer who can turn good. I’ll leave the religion to the pros slash people who think their pros.

Our last stop was the Wailing Wall. This is where Jews go to pray on the wall. They pray here because it borders the Muslim quarters where the Jews weren’t allowed to pray anymore so this is as close as they can get to the western wall. The neat thing is is that you can see the oils and sweat of all the people who have prayed there over the years. I said my own little prayer, after putting on my cardboard yamaka(or however you spell it), and thanked god for making me so pretty and to keep my family safe. I’m a good little Christian boy.

So yeah, that’s my day in Jerusalem. We got back to the ship and Jeb, Shaunacy, Kim, and Jeff all went to the Pinnacle for a nice night of amazing 5 star food and wine. We got some free desert wine after our meal and some shots that were on the house. Haha. We stole our shotglasses. I love the 4 of us.

I’ll be sure and post some pictures once I get home (because it’s too hard to on the ship) so you can see all these places I talked about….check back in a week or so. 6 days left ya’ll. 6 days.

p.s. that quote in my title came from a Jewish man wearing a circular fur hat with two ringlets of hair on either side of his face following about 4 of his kids. The little girl was complaining in Hebrew and that was his response. I laughed OUT LOUD!!!!

10.05.2007

seven days....of HELL

So b logging has been slow lately. We’ve been going to all the same ports for the last 3 cruises so nothing new is happening in that area of life.

On a more interesting note we have 7 days left and I think today it hit me how much I’m going to miss these people, well 8 out of 10. I’ve spent every hour of every day for the last 7 months with these guys and they are basically family now. I’m not gonna know what to do with myself when I wake up and don’t have a hallway to walk down to see who’s awake. I won’t be able to go into Nitty/Stissy’s room or Shaunacy/Kim’s room. I won’t hear dreamgirls or some boy band blasting from mashawns room or espn coming from peters. Its just gonna be sad I think. These peoples personalities are amazing and its gonna suck. Oh well, here are some things I won’t miss

Andrea – you may know her has the new girl. She’s a fucked up individual and its wearing me out. Last night during one of our dinner shows she got drunk inbetween numbers. She was loud and obnoxious with some of the crew staff and our cruise director(who probably can whip satan into shape) kept telling them to keep it down. Welll she wouldn’t and went up to a guy and playfully hit him. Mind you somebody had already fired off a confetti cannon that we use into the small holding room where we all were. Nobody cleaned it up so me and Janelle (crazy) did. Anyways I digress. So it looked like she hit this guy and somebody goes don’t hit him. Not in a mad way just kinda in a playful way. Well that drunk slut flipped out. Said we were all ganging up on her and stuff and saying how we’re always loud in the hallway, etc, etc. so mashawn told her to calm down(now mashawn doesn’t get involved in peoples drama but he’s had enough and the half of him that’s black was ready to go….i said it) I get up to clean up more stuff and I was talking to myself saying how she’s not pretty enough, talented enough, or skinny enough to be in this cast. All things I should have kept to myself. Oh well, you live and you learn. She flips OUT after mashawn said “I f-ing hate you all. Don’t ever talk to me again,” sits there and pouts for a while, starts crying, leaves the room and slams the door. Lets keep in mind that all the guests are next door eating dinner and our cruise director, susan(satan’s life coach) is sitting right there as well. Here are some things I left out earlier. In mid conversations about nothing realated to this event she told stacy to shut up and cut Janelle off with a “DUH”. Now, telling stacy to shut up is like pissing on one of those precious moment dolls that are praying with their teddy bear. There’s no need to EVER do that. This slut is asking for it. Anways, we go about our little dinner theatre show, she yells at some Indonesian for bumping into her on accident and we retire to our beds. I’m sure more shit happened but we all just ignore her now. I’m just really tired of this dysfunctional untalented person living with us. She should have been fired yesterday for being drunk on the job. She tells us things like she has 2 other sisters and the three girls all have a different dad and the 7 year old likes to get herself off by humping the couches. WHAT THE FUCK MATE. And this andrea girl has men knocking on her door of all hours of the night….happened last night….and none of these guys are SINGLE or ATTRACTIVE. One of them looks like a hairy version of a toad with downs syndrome and the other is a bald guy who’s gf was just on board. SLUT. “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US” I hate this whore and so help me god if she says anything to me. Luckily she’s not confrontational so she prolly won’t be we all made a pact and that’s if she comes at any of us she’s coming at all of us. Janelle (crazy #1) is manageable cause she’s just paranoid, but this bitch is alcoholic crazy and that needs to be dealt with. Oh well, I’m sure this didn’t read as dramatic as it really was but its hard when you have to live with somebody who you all hate because of their work ethic, morals, and lifestyle or their ability to be two-faced and backstab(just last week she told us all how much she loved our cast and was so happy to be here and now she fucking hates us.). I’m not even gonna get started on her talent.

So yeah, 7 days. Tomorrow we’re going on a tour to Jerusalem to walk in Jesus’ footsteps. I hope we have the same size feet cause then I’ll have even more proof that I am the HOLY GRAIL.

9.29.2007

chapter 14: another time when i was mad

So let me just share with you faithful readers about the things that have been irritating me lately. I’m gonna do this in a bulleted format to keep it simple but we all know I’m gonna go off on some of them…

Janelle, “crazy” from earlier posts

The flies in my salad and lunch

That one fly that was in my water glass

Jeff not showering(I don’t know why that gets to me, I love him, but I woke up this morning and was so irritated he didn’t take a shower after spending all day yesterday in Egypt. Egypt smells y’all. It smells like anus. Jeff doesn’t, but personally I would want to get rid of that shit)

The fact that I was goaded about jeff not showering. Who does that

Janelle and chad(her boyfriend)

The fact that anybody can read this and I’m sure its gonna bite me in the ass one day. Probably when anybody from stiletto, Janelle, andrea or peter read this. Which about peter, please know that peter and I handle our business and we talk and he knows that I love him and only talk about it because I have nothing else to talk about that day or it’s a day like today and I’m irritable. Much love to my Mexican hombre. And by Mexican, I mean half puerto Rican half Italian. And by puerto Rican I mean Dominican. And by Italian I mean Sicilian. Shitdamn.

These fuckin rhinestones. So jeff loves to collect them which is cute but PLEASE don’t do them while I’m workin my ass off trying to dance in a show. Our show showgirl require a costume change every other number for me and mashawn. Its very demanding. The last thing I need is somebody who’s in 3 numbers crawling around on the floor looking for rhinestones. I love you jeff so I’m not talking shit on you, just the quest for rhinestones

I’m annoyed that the quest for rhinestones irritates me

Lets talk about why I’m so irritable…….

I’ll go back to Janelle, she’s making shit up and is super paranoid right now and its workin my last god damn nerve. Speaking of god damn, she won’t say that but she’ll say fuck. I’m sorry, you can’t just half cuss…thats like being half gay(not to be confused with bisexual cause we all know that is just a myth). But yeah, she’s just really rude to people lately especially the new girl andrea. Now don’t go thinking I’m on andrea’s side cause I sure as hell ain’t, but still, you don’t need to be rude. That’s just inappropriate. So rude.

p.s stacy is brilliant she just rapped all of a gwen Stefani song and it cheered me up; she’s also dancing in a dress with her hands in her pockets and spinning in circles doing flea hops. This girl is a god-send. Praise her and her innocence.

Anyways, we have one cruise left, 13 day. Today I walked around the deck for cancer. It was really cool. A survivor of 16 years led us on 11 laps around the deck. Kinda got a little emotional. Then I had a man ask me how much I work out because I LOOK GREAT and he was really impressed seing a man with my build dance and was saying how refreshing it was. Don’t hear that everyday when you’re a chronic “weight problem”. However, it did get a little strange when he asked me how often, for how many hours, and how many years have I been working out. I think I said 5 years but a good 3.5 of those years were spent balancing a good case of the “rexias” and “emias”. Guess I have to keep starving myself cause now I’m getting compliments. My new favorite blog told me he eats toilet paper as a midday snack. I’ll have to check that one out.

Alright I’m done, I’m not longer irritable cause stacy’s annoying ass energy made me smile. Also we just watched the best of Sheri O’Teri and I ate some ice cream with chocolate and sprinkles……..and peanut butter. The end.

9.25.2007

well you know

i got nothing, this ship is boring as all hell. 17 days left

gonig to the kelly clarkson concert with my sister and MY boyfriend(just to clear up any confusion....I am gay and have a boyfriend of over two years, his name is matt, and well this way you will all know that i'm going to the concert with MY boyfriend and not my sisters cause she doesn't have one cause she doesn't need one cause she's a pimp and the strongest most badass girl i know and so far above trash its not even funny any more!)(is that more clear mother?) in november. thats gonna be friggin awesome

9.21.2007

i got nothin

nothing new to report. i'm sick with sinus stuff. new girl is afraid of me. ate lots of food for parties and stuff. we have the rest of this cruise and one more left. i just got another job for more money on a different cruise line and then i'm off of the oceans for a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time. now the company i work for is upset i went somewhere else but the way i see it is don't treat me like a fat piece of shit and then get mad i don't come back. sorry

9.17.2007

a page from the Old Jeb

One last thing. Keep in mind I was just on a 14 hour tour through 90 degree Egypt. This new girl. She’s about to get slapped. PULLS ME ASIDE to tell me somebody told her I said she was difficult to work with. She gave me that innocent straight girl flirty eye feel sorry for me look to which I gave her the I hate you look and said I never said that. I said I don’t work with you at any point so why would I say you are hard to work with. (What she does realize is that I think she’s lazy, not hard to work with). Anyways, so I ask her who told her and with that same shit look she said does it really matter. I said it sure does cause how else will I know if you’re not making this up. She told me a name and I said that’s funny cause I don’t even talk to him. The she was like are you mad at me I don’t want you to be mad at me. I said I don’t care enough about this to be mad at anybody. THEN she goes “well he said one other thing” she broke eye contact and said “he said that if I get in your way onstage you’re going to hit me”. I proceeded to leave the room. I went to my room to tell jeff and shaunacy what she was saying and she came down the hall and was like don’t be mad at me. I said “look, when I’m on stage I’m dancing full out and if somebody runs into me I’m going to hit them cause I’m dancing. CLEARLY.” Then I said, “kinda like what happened last night when you ran into me while I was swinging a chair around me, I’m not gonna stop my choreography because you’re in the wrong spot after I’ve told you every show not to be there.” I said, “ and furthermore why would I talk to or about people I don’t really care about.” THIS BITCH, I’m so exhausted with this contract and dancing and people like this who are so fucking insecure that they thrive on making up and living in other peoples drama. AND OF COURSE I TALK ABOUT YOU ANDREA. She’s lazy, eats like shit, has gained weight since she’s been here, 3 weeks, still doesn't know the shows or their blocking, and always says she sooooo fat and hates her body to get compliments. She’s not fat but she’s not skinny. She has a tiny upperbody and tiny legs, no ass, and what looks like a pillow underneath her midsection. It sucks for her cause our cast is a machine when it comes to the girls, they are all stunning. But my suggestion to this bitch is STOP EATING CHOCOLATE FILLED CROISSANTS AT 4 IN THE MORNING AND CHUGGING BOTTLES OF WINE EVERYNIGHT AND EATING ENTIRE BOXES OF PASTRIES between your salad and sandwich for lunch and dinner. Stupid slut. She’s also fucking like 3 guys and acts like she isn’t. I don’t have time for her. All she’s getting is the time it took me to type this out. The end

more proof that i'm the holy grail

basically I am the prince of Egypt. What do you think about that? Pretty cool. Anyways, Egypt looks like the underside of satans toilet. You know that area that collects samples of your feces right on the other side of the seat. Yeah, that’s that it looks like…except it has sand too. Alexandria and Cairo have got to be one of the ugliest places I’ve ever been. Instead of grass there was sand, sand roads, sand buildings, sand rivers, its everywhere. I realize it’s the desert and all but if you’re gonna have a couple million inhabitants I suggest you get your shit together. Trash was often what the streets are made of and you can see it being swept into the little canals in the street. Water turned to trash and it made me realize, on my three hour bus ride from Alexandria to Cairo, just how much we’re harming this planet. I know that’s deep but its all I could see. That and people. People lined the entire stretch of highway, they just looked like they were wandering around. I’m sure they weren’t but still. Its just scary at times.

Whatever

So we go to the Museum of Antiquities first. To keep with my previous descriptions this was the ugliest I’ve seen. It was like magenta. When I got inside the walls were peach. Gross. BUT all you can are rows and rows of glass and wooden cases filled to the brim with pottery, sarcophagus’, jewels, jewelry, tombs, statues, chair, etc. its as though everything the Egyptians ever made was in this museum. My favorite part wasn’t King Tuts room with his solid gold sarcophagus and his jewels and his golden mask, wasn’t the massive pictures of the discovered tombs and their artifacts in cases in front of them, but it was the colossus statue of a king and queen. The look like the ones that were built into the wall from my history books. I just stood at the base of them and looked up, they were a couple stories high. It was so insane. I only had about 5 minutes free time and I spent it staring up into the eyes of some old Egyptian king and queen. What sucks is we only saw about 1/3 of the museum due to time restraints on my tour so we had to run but I def. want to go back and visit on my own time.

Next stop was the pyramids. We saw the 3 great pyramids of Giza while the crew tour got to see all 9. but whatever, I didn’t have to pay 100 dollars to see it, I got to see em for free. SUCK ON THAT. But yeah, after being molested by the local camel jockeys for pictures and dollars and taking my picture with the pyramids and sitting on a camel, I decided I needed to go inside the 2nd pyramid. It’s the one with the capstone still on top. Many people think that this is the biggest but it is not. Its built on higher land than the other and even with its extra layer of limestone its still shorter than the one next to it. LOSER. Anyways, we crawled inside the pyramid(my chest was on my legs I was crouched over so far) walked down and then back up and into the giant open room containing the tomb of that pyramids king. The air was about 200% humidity and smelled of feet because of all the foreigners but it was still really cool. Came back out, took more pictures, got molested again and then went to go see the sphinx. Its actually a little larger than I thought it would be. Everybody says its so small but it’s a pretty good size. You can only go around it and the KFC/PizzaHut across the street kinda took the magnificent-ness away from it. Oh and the pigeons sitting on its face. But still, it was cool.

Our last stop was to a bazaar and lunch at some fancy hotel. It was coo, I got my name on a kartush and now have a necklace in Egyptian. Hot. But yeah, came home and went to bed. p.s. my groups tour guide was named Moses. he had some good jokes about leading his people from egypt. i laughed

Here are some things I learned as my day went on:
1. people smell
2. there were 7 cleopatras and the 7th is the one we all talk about
3. the sphinx was carved out of the side of the hill its on. I thought it was built.
4. I saw where the lighthouse in Alexandria was, now it’s a fort. (I saw two world wonders in 1 day)
5. Egypt is divided into 26 governments. Kinda like states
6. Egyptians don’t acknowledge the laws of dring and drive wherever they want at whatever speed. Nor do they drive in a straight line
7. I look good in pink but I already kinda knew that
8. Egyptians are either the ugliest people in the world or the prettiest. There is no inbetween. The pretty ones looked like gods, I’m not even kidding
9. I wish I knew more about the timing of all the kingdoms cause it was really confusing all day
10. all of the kings that united Egypt over the years came from the south.

9.14.2007

clothes, gone

Today we were in Rhodes, Greece. I love this town. I got some cute stuff for family and friends today so that was awesome.

Came home, layed out, watched a fight between the new girl and the girlfriend of the guy she’s sleeping with, got offered a ship on a different line(it’s a massive, brand new ship, new shows, the ship has an ice rink in it, its based out of florida, and spends 6 months in the carribean, just wating to see if they can match the pay I’m getting now), and tried to explain myself amidst a myriad of questions.

Went to get my laundry out of the dryer and found that the washing machine put little black oil polka dots all over my blues/greens/yellows. Isn’t that just FUCKING AWESOME. Good thing I didn’t’ turn my clothes right side out cause some only got damage on the inside. See dad, I have a reason for leaving my clothes inside out, saved me a couple hundred dollars in damage just now.

9.13.2007

untitled

I could spend this entry talking about my tour to Ephesus and the Virgin Mary’s house and I could talk about how I hate asian tourists and the nun that was yelling at them to be quite (and how she had no eyebrows). I could tell you about the 25,000 seat ampitheatre at Ephesus, or seeing the reconstruction of the 3rd largest library in ancient times, or even how badly the men in turkey smell and usually the women too, with their mustaches. But that would be unessesary.

Tonight during our Master Chef dinning room show one of our crew memebers, a dinning room steward, fell to the floor and passed away. He was 30 years old and was in the doctors office this morning but wasn’t treated for anything and then tonight, right before our desert presentation, he passed away. They announced “Bright Star” which is our code for a passing, all the doctors came in, the defibulator machine and then he was carted off to the infirmary. Just a few moments ago he was taken down to the morgue after he lost his battle. It really makes you think. He was only 30 years old.

Dad, on a lighter note, in 3 days I’m going to see the Pyramids, the Sphinx, and the Museum of Antiquities in Cairo. I cannot express how excited I am. I can remember watching all those shows on PBS, History Channel, and even stuff at the Kimbal, and never thought I would get to see them in real life. ALSO, I get to go for free, just like my trip to Ephesus today. I’m crafty

9.10.2007

let the tears fall

It’s a sad day around these parts. I’m sure all you back home have heard about Britney’s performance on the VMA’s last night. All we have seen of it was a clip on CNN and the cast hall way is very concerened. How does someone who was unstoppable not 5 years ago suddenly have shitty hair, fat rolls, and looks completely lost on stage. This was dubbed her comeback and instead it was spent with the few friends she has left laughing at her. I feel sick. I can’t perform tonight. I already took away all the bad things I ever said about Beyonce to mashawn but I still don’t feel right. Britney was my ticket to LA and now she’s a joke. I mean for christ’s sake, she couldn’t even get weave to match her hair color. Britney, listen to me, when you have short hair like that and it was because of your own stupid ass fault, you need to go on the world wide stage, rock the short spikey hair, and actually tell the people its “Britney Bitch”. You’ve let the 4 of us down, your last 4 fans. You’ll be in our prayers.

On a lighter note saw some public titties today in the Ukraine. We were walking around Odessa, Ukraine and came upon a park where, under a gazebo, a woman was conducting a band. There were cameras, a director, personal assistants. The works. The lead lady had a black dress on, a tattoo on her back and her arm and was wearing a white bowtie and librarian glasses. Should have used my context clues so I wouldn’t have been so surprised when after she finished conducting she turned around to the cameras and her dress was pulled off leaving her there in a pair of bootleg white panties and her tatters flopping in the wind. Seeing as I have already given Britney advice I have a few pieces for this hoochie. I’d do a few more crunches and get rid of that rather odd tire around your midsection before you go conducting with your bare titties on film.

That was my day.

9.08.2007

Today in Istanbul, or Instanbul as Kim says

Useless facts from today:

1. In turkish they spell my name Ceym
2. Andrea (the new girl) annoys the living fuck out of me. I think i treat her like a dog that won't listen and i've given up hope on so i just look at it and then walk away
3. evil eyes ward off jealous and threatning thoughts from other people...i bought 6

9.05.2007

Sants Rins

Santorini…..this is a vacation. We pulled into the center of an ancient volcano and were surrounded by staggering islands with all white buildings seemingly hanging to the sides of the cliffs. The water is the most brilliant navy blue you’ve ever seen and as we approached the tender point the smell of donkey shit flooded the air.

I rode a donkey to the top of the mountain up to the town of Fira. A donkey. I named him burro, or burns for short, and this bitch decided to take a 15 minute break and just stood in the middle of the road. THEN ho decides to start sprinting up the hill. I pass everybody on the hill and take the lead. Some Canadians in the back were yellin something about me being from Texas but I couldn’t really hear cause Burns was a runnin. We get to the top and just walk around the winding narrow streets filled with shops. Jewelry shops, clothing shops, food shops, you could spread your arms out to the side and touch each store on either side. It was narrow but gorgeous. We walked around for a while and then went to a bar overlooking the ocean and just relaxed in the sun. after then we split up and kim and I took a bus to Kamari beach on the other side of the island. It was a black pebble beach and we walked around, looked at some shops, and stopped at a bar and got a drink. A few hours pass we go back to catch a bus and find more drinks from a grocery store so Kim and I sit on the curb and just drink as the sun is setting in Santorini, Greece as we wait for the bus. Get the bus and head back into town. Go and get a crepe from this store called NRG. I got a crepe with artichoke, chicken, pesto, tomato, feta, and red onion. It was sensational. Then we rode a cable car ski lift thing in total darkness straight down the cliff and back to our tender boat and sailed back to the ship.

Get on the ship and find out we’re having a sail-away party on the back deck. We go out as a cast, grab some drinks, and dance the night away as carly and the hal cats play some live music. Carly, scott, Kevin G…all friends all in the band(hal cats). We basically just did that all night long. Talk about a vacation. This is one night were I would have actually considered this job a vacation.

9.03.2007

and then i was like, "what haaaaaappend"

I went cliff jumping/diving today into the Adriatic sea, specifically in the most beautiful place in the word…Dubrovnik, Croatia. BUT FIRST I’m gonna talk about the dead body that was carted out in front of us before getting off the ship.

So we’re standing in line at the paymaster waiting to get bus tickets to head into town, just mindin our business’ until the nurses, doctors, security, and housekeeper come down the hallway pushing a gurney with a dead man on it wrapped in plastic and a cloth. Basically somebody died on the ship today and they were taking him to the freezer. It was weird, a great way to start a day that involves jumping off a cliff.

So we take a bus to town and let me tell you how gorgeous this place is. OH WAIT, I can’t. I didn’t pay enough attention in class to know words to use to describe how gorgeous this was. The buildings are white with red tile roofs, the water is the most gorgeous shade of transparent/lucent blue I’ve ever seen, and the streets are marble. That’s right folks, marble. This place is breathtaking. They call in the jewel of the Adriatic and the most underrated place in the med. We get to old town and walk around trying to find the “bar with a view” where you can jump off into the ocean. Its this little stand tucked into the side of the cliff/city wall and you literally crawl over the safety railing, shimmy your war across some rocks, walk out and jump off. The first jump was about 50 feet, the higher one was about, I’d say 75 feet. Lets say about 3-5 mississippi’s of hang time once you jumped. Its weird up there though cause you can see the ocean floor, like 40 feet down there, you can see the fishies in the water and your mind is saying “lets go, lets rock this”, but then your body is saying “fuck you dumbass you crazy mother f@#*&.” But once you’re in the air you can’t breath and you just have to tell yourself to point your feet and shut your legs. Shaunacy landed in a chair position and now has purple hamstrings and can’t bend over. Stacy bruised her tailbone. Mashawn cut his toe climbing out of the water. Janelle probably bruised her labias cause she forgot to close her legs. As you can tell some of us are real smart. Anyways, it was fun and we’re going back and as of today I’m saving up money so I can come back on vacation.

After that we just walked around town, got some pizza, ate on a cliff overlooking the ocean while white linen curtains blew in the wind, walked around some more and then came home. I love Dubrovnik. Look it up online when you get a chance, the pictures say it all.

Matt, since you didn’t want to hear about my day when I called you maybe you will read this and hear about it that way. Love you.

Hi mom, hi dad, hello to all my readers. The 4 of you have been so faithful. And just so you all know I’m starting my new diet tonight called starvation…right after I go to the midnight Asian buffet. HOLLER

8.30.2007

that tower was a leanin

Pisa, Italy. That’s where my sweet ass found itself today. Haha. We jump on a crew tour bus, drive 40 minutes from Livorno straight to Pisa. Along the way we see farmland, hookers, Pisa in the distance and lots of Italian words. We get to pisa, walk through streets of souvenir shops, walk through an archway and there she is. HOWEVER, there’s a baptistery, a giant chapel, an indoor cemetery(I can’t think of the word but its huge and lots of big boxes, the English language is escaping me right now and I hate it), and the leaning tower. We all go running, disregarding the signs to stay off the grass and the photo shoots begin. We had pictures holding the tower up, pushing the tower over, kicking the tower, tumbling in from of the tower, laying down pretending the tower was in us or coming out of us, and then just smiling pictures. That took about an hour. We walked around and got some suveniers and stuff, walked around the grounds and then came home. The tower is really really cool….and its really really leaning. Kinda nuts actually. Its also really really clean and it looks new. It doesn’t look old like in Rome and Athens. Looks like it could have been built a few years ago. But yeah, its so awesome to think I was in pisa today. Nuts.

8.29.2007

word

got a hair cut, manicure, ate some chocolate, did some master chef, worked out a little, going to the leaning tower of piza tomorrow. fin

8.27.2007

standin on the Rock with some monkeys

I was in Gibraltar today. The place with the rock. And the monkeys. We walked up the hillside town to go ride the cable cars to the top, got in line, heard it was gonna be 50 bucks round trip so were like HELL NO. at that exact time a van came speeding up to us, the driver got out and gave us his sales pitch for a bus tour of the mountain. We would save 3 dollars, the tickets were included, and instead of taking 4 hours it would only take us 1.5. we also go to see things the cable car people didn’t get to see. We saw caves(not nearly as impressive as the Carlsbad Caverns in new mexico, but everybody else was still impressed), we saw tunnels mined into the side of the rock for fort purposes with like cannons and stuff, we saw a Moorish castle and most of all we saw MONKEYS, lots of wild monkey that would just be laying around. They apparently steal things and bite people and do crazy things but I guess they were tired today cause they were just layin around. It was pretty cool though, on one side was Spain and the Med, on the other side was the Atlantic ocean and then off in the distance was Africa. It was so freakin cool. I learned that Gibraltar is a little peninsula type thing that juts of the south of spain and that it’s a brittish province. Comparable to puerto rico and the usa I think. Oh well it was cool.

Janelle is still acting weird and everybody is kinda over it. Andrea has gotten in trouble every day of this cruise and so its really just the 8 of us. As it should be. Sometimes you just don’t have the energy to put up with crazy people.

8.26.2007

update from last night

so an update from last night. turns out i left and crazy spent the night in the bar crying and talkin to anybody who would listen. apparently she brought up rehearsals in LA and all this shit that has nothing to do with her butting into my converstation and misinterpreting what i was talking about.

on a lighter note, the new girl got everybody in trouble today. stupid slut. she goes up to the club hal oasis area. its a giant waterfall lagoon type place on the top of the ship for teens only. only teen passangers and club hal staff are allowed there. NOT US dumbass. she goes up there to lay out and one of the teens walks up to her and asks her if she works on the ship. she goes, "do you" he said no and she goes "well i do." rolls her eyes and puts her ipod back in her ears. so now a ship wide email is going out banning anybody not a passanger from the area. thanks bitch, thats 3 things you've gotten taken away from us since you've been here. and by taken away i really only mean gotten in trouble. i was exagerating a little. sorry.

tomorrow we'll be in Gibraltar. can't wait. i hear they have monkeys that steal things.

8.25.2007

i've lost the energy to deal. but i went to Vigo, Spain today

So, the crazy girl. Not the new girl, but the old crazy girl. I’m sitting in the officers bar tonight, minding my business, having some drinks with some band members and crew staff, shootin the shit, comparing gross stories about old people. Kevin G, the drummer starts talking about the girls in the cast and was saying how he doesn’t have a nickname for shaunacy. Shaunacy, along with the rest of the cast calls him Kevin g but he doesn’t have a name for her. I told him to call her Deborah. It’s a long story but its funny. He was like ok, what about kim. I said call kim kamita jo. Whatever. Then he says how kim is the best girl on the stage and she just brings it everytime. I said I know, you should see her during this number in our new show called queen of the night. She dances like janet Jackson who’s middle name is damita jo……which is why we call kim kamita jo. Get it? Ok. So we’re talking about kim and shaunacy. I said they sleigh that number. They are the ones to watch. So JANELLE, the crazy girl, is over across the bar with her boyfriend and she was like “he acts like I cant hear him.” She stops my conversation and yells over I can hear everything you’re saying jeb. I said, what exactly am I saying. (at this point, her boyfriend who never stands up for her just looks at the ground and takes himself out of the situation). She goes, that shaunacy and kim are the best ones to watch during queen of the night, I can hear it all. I looked at her and said I don’t have the energy for you, looked at my group of friends and said she’s crazy and I walked out of the bar. Basically this crazy girl is, well, crazy. She’s insecrure and earlier events this evening heightened that emotion and now she thinks I think she sucks. I never said that. If I was gonna talk about her I was gonna say how she rushes everything and shaunacy and kim do it the best. Even the choreographer of the show talking to shaunacy and kim. Whatever. That bitch is crazy and I swear to god if she says one word to me I will lay into her. I’m done y’all. I’m celebratin no more drama in my life.

Anyways, today me jeff and kim walked around Vigo, Spain. Its this hillside, seaside town that is really cute and old looking. We had some sangria, ate some sardines, and then went back to the ship to lay out. Then later that night the cast went up to the crow’s nest and did some country line dances with the passangers, Janelle got insecure cause we showed up late and she was there by herself, got mad at nitty cause nitty was annoyed with her. And this was all after Janelle had words with the new girl andrea and pulled my name into it. This is what lead up to tonight drama…..that and some wine. ‘nough said.

8.23.2007

sweet sweet PARIS

The 23rd of August. Emphasis on 23. the number that is evil. If you’ve seen the movie 23 you’ll know why, if not, go rent it. So we wake up at 6 to go to paris. There’s about 16 people going to paris from the ship. Madness. We get to paris and split into two groups, those going to the Louvre and those who have never been to paris and going to see the sites. Our first stop was the Arc de Triumphe. Holy shit that thing is huge, and right in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty sweet, we walked under the 5 lane circle drive and got up under it. Turns out it’s a memorial to the unknown soldiers. I’ve notice nearly every country has one. Thoughtful. But yeah, so we did that and then headed to the Eiffel tower. That is one of the few monuments that’s as big as you think it is. It was crazy and the line to get inside of it was over 2 hours. And seeing as how we only had 4 hours to see paris we didn’t much have the time for that. After that we bought an all day pass for the metro trains. We took that to the catacombs. This place was crazy. Turns out during the late 18th century paris had run out of room to bury the dead so they used this underground quary to put the bones. Over 6 million people were reburied or buried here. They arranged the skulls and tibias to make a wall and then just threw the rest of the bones behind them. The whole thing was just bones and skulls, over a kilometer long and 30 meteres below the ground….i think. After that we jumped back on the train and went to Notre Dame. Oh yeah, before that I stopped and got a crepe…had to. So yeah, get to Notre Dame and its f-ing huge too. These people were not subtle. It was cloudy and rainy all day so the stained glass wasn’t as brilliant as it could have been but that cathedral was massive. I can’t begin. So AFTER THAAAAAAAAT jeff and I headed to see the Moulin Rouge. That’s right, the original. It was pretty sweet, located in essentially the sex district. Took some sweet action shots and then headed back to the train. That’s where the drama begins.

Turns out the train station at the port…2 hours from paris….passed out expired train schedules so when we go to get on the 3:50 train back to the ship its not there. There’s not a train coming till almost 5. it’s a two hour train ride and all aboard is at 6:30. you do the math. We get a hold of the port authority after about 30 minutes of panic and they arrange to get us taxis at our home port to get us to the ship faster and after about 1.5 hours into our homeward bound train ride they let us know the ship is going to wait for us. Imagine the stress level before that point. We get on the train but have to split up because there aren’t enough seats. We get to La Havre, our port, and get off the train to meet the rest of our group. They aren’t there. We look everywhere, they aren’t there. NOWHERE. Finally we can’t wait any longer, we have no taxis for us, they all left so we have to wait even longer for a taxi. Finally get one, there’s 7 of us, we’re missing about 7 others, so we head to the ship. Turns out the rest of them bolted off the train took the taxis and made it back to the ship. We got to the ship at 7:15, they are ready to pack up the gangway. We get in, the NEWcruise director (who has quite the reputation) pulls everybody but me cause I already went to my room to her office to hear the story and says she’s gonna go fight with the captain. He wants to give us PINS (basically a bad thing) but she’s going to fight. The others…shaunacy, new girl andrea and the other people are already changed and chillin in their rooms. We all meet in the hallway and were like what the hell. They figured it was just a “fend for yourself” situation DESPITE us saying we all need to stick together. The ship won’t leave if nearly 20 crew members are missing. But I guess that never crossed their minds. I was very stressed out and let some smart ass comment about self-absorbed people come out of my mouth and felt bad cause it wasn’t necessary. I went to the gym to relieve some stress and came back to apologize to shaunacy cause I actually care about her. I could give two shits about andrea. I start to apologize and shaunacy jumps in and starts telling me how offended she was. I cut her off and said I’m trying to apologize, let me apologize. She doesn’t I go to leave, she stops. I tell her it wasn’t necessary for me to say those things and it came out of stress not anger and despite the situation we all made it back ok so its not a big deal. She finally said it was ok and thanked me and I left awkwardly. Guess its gonna take another few weeks before she’s cool with me again. The cycle continues. And now we’re leaving 30 minutes late and the waters are rough. I swear man……this day

Lesson of the day: the French are ugly, maybe that’s why that hate Americans so much.
Lesson two of the day: I’m tired of always thinking about others in situations like this. It only pisses me off cause some others don’t. Only a few of us actually take the time to think ahead of the next second.

p.s. I’m still stressed out, I’m just worried whats gonna happen. The whole ship is already talking about it. I can’t wait to see what gets taken away from the cast this time.

8.22.2007

on my way to paris

i'm going to paris tomorrow. as in france, not the one in texas. although sometimes i'd rather be in texas. in the mean time i'll talk about the new girl that i don't like. she smokes, drinks, sleeps around, talks shit, backstabs, and tells stupid random 3 sentance stories, she's lazy, not a good dancer, kinda pretty, and basically made up her mind she's not gonna get along with us so we're just leaving her alone. thats all. i miss jes and jenn....the originals.

8.19.2007

Berlin/Aarhus/bastard gay man

Yesterday I went to Berlin, today I went to Denmark. I’ll begin with Berlin

Who would of thought I’d ever make it to see Berlin. We woke up at 6 and jumped on a train, a 3 hour train ride through the countryside of Germany. I never would have thought Germany would be so pretty. It looked like a fairy tale. I felt like I was in Hansel and Gretel or Harry Potter. There were tree lined railroad tracks that would suddenly open into wide lush green meadows. There were windmills in the distance and tall wispy grass blowing in the breeze. It was so pretty….3 hours pretty.
Once we got to Berlin we got out of the train station and there was part of the Berlin wall. We spent some time there and then walked down towards the Brandenburg gate. I spelled that wrong but you know. We could see it in the distance which is the only way we knew where to go. On the way we came across this park full of buddy bears. Buddy bears are hand painted bears from every country in the world holding hands. Its kinda like the bulls in Chicago only they mean something profound. We spent a good while there taking pictures and whatnot, and like a true American, I took a picture with the America bear holding my starbucks cup. We finally found a starbucks and it was amazing. OH and then we tumbled and stuff in the grass. We gathered a small crowd and it was fun. We got some cool action shots of me doing a toe-touch and me and jeff doing side by side back handsprings. Its pretty cool.
So after that we continued on our journey. Right before the gate was this massive holocaust memorial. It was rows and rows of rectangular blocks of different heights. The ground was rolly so it made it look pretty cool. We ran around in there for a while. P.S. the whole city seems to be a memorial. Berlin does not want to forget what has happened in the past. There is a line through the whole town that shows where the wall was. I learned that the wall wasn’t a single wall. It was 2 walls with a narrow alley in between and it wasn’t straight through the city. It was all over. AND I didn’t realize it went up in the 60’s. I figured it was more around the war. Who would have thought something almost 50 years ago would be so profound. I had to keep reminding myself this was all the recent past.
After that we went to the big gateway and took lots of pictures……and bought souvenirs. Then we walked across the street to the big rystock or something. its essentially the capitol building. Then we walked through some other memorials, ran into some of the tour busses from the ship and kim shaunacy and Stacey jumped on and went to a concentration camp. The rest of us just walked around some more and headed home.
Berlin was definitely an amazing city. I wanted a few more days to really see and experience everything. I want to go back. The end
____________________________________________________________________

Today we were back in Aarhus, Denmark. This city has the most gorgeous people on the planet. It never lets me down. The entire group went to LegoLand for janelles birthday except me shaunacy, mashawn, and the new girl andrea. Mash just slept, me and shaunacy snuck off the ship(we technically had ipm) and I have no idea what the new girl did. She’s dating like 5 people on the ship including a passenger. I don’t have time for her. Anyways, me and shananc went looking for a birthday present for Janelle but EVERY store was closed cause its Sunday. Damn danes. But they’re still pretty so I forgave them. We ended up just walking around town and came across a stairway that seemed to head to a gorgeous park. We get to the top and it turns out to be a cemetery. But this ain’t your American cemetery. It looked like the botanical gardens. Aspens, birch, pines, magnolia trees, flowers, shrubs, large green lawns. It was stunning. And the tombstones aren’t in row and row. They are all grouped by family in little mini gardens. Each family planted and decorated their plot themselves. Some had statues, artwork, little benches. It was so interesting. I also learned that they are able to do this because they burry each member on top of the next to save space. But some plots were just the gravestone or no more than 4 feet long. Others looked like the king of denmark was buried there. Needless to say it was really neat to see and learn about other customs. I guess this little cruise ship job is showin me a lot more than how to make shitty dancing look good. Haha.

p.s. I’m very sorry for the short choppy sentences. I feel like a 3rd grader typing this out but my mind goes too fast to make full sentences. My bad

Lesson of the day: the old jewish gay men from new york are disgusting on this ship. Just cause I’m a dancer who’s gay doesn’t mean I like to go to gay cinemas or backrooms or sex clubs, NOR does that mean that I want to talk about my sexuality with some 60 year old fat queen. And also I will not be doing highkicks on command so you can stop asking for that as well, especially if you leave our shows half way through. Got it missy. Stupid gays, times have changed. Not everybody is a fag. Oh and one more thing. Don’t think I like musicals and liza just cause I dance. I happen to be very well versed in the acadamia world so don’t act so surprised when I correct you on your historical knowledge….asshole. fucking eat a carrot and do a crunch or two.

8.16.2007

101

So keeping this blog interesting has failed. There’s just not much to talk about these days that is either funny, bitchy or, well, interesting. We have less than 2 months left and we’re on our last Baltic cruise. We head back to the med in a week and then we’ll end in Venice. I might go into berlin in two days. So I might have a story. I also plan on going to paris, Egypt, and rome again. But that’s not till September. And in October we go to Israel. So the fun stuff might start happening then. Other than that it’s the same old shit. Going to the gym, dealing with our mood swings, getting to know the new girl(which there’s not much there), eating, calling home and checking on my sister and drew and matt(life is hard sometimes), and thinking about my dog dude’r and how I’m gonna dance for kylie minogue…even thought peter, our lead male singer, said that nobody in this cast will amount to anything except Natalie, our lead female singer. All im gonna say about that bullshit is that he doesn’t know we all know he said that(he was talking to 2 people and then the rest of the cast found out) and when it comes up its gonna come up and I hope to be in Australia calling him long distance from kylie’s dressing room. Maybe I’ll put her on the phone just to rub it in. and that’s where this entry stops.

p.s. I just found out Kaitlin O’hagan is on the dance faculty at OCU. I can’t deal

8.13.2007

my 100th posting

just bought the Kylie Minogue "Showgirl" tour video from 2005 for 5 dollars in Russia from a shed back behind the customs stand(black market baby) and here are a list of signs slash reasons i will dance for kylie before i die. i don't necissarily want to do the whole LA thing but i will for Kylie

1. she is 4'11" and my first partner lauren was that tall. that means i can partner her
2. my favorite music video has this whacked out guy in it, turns out he's on the kylie tour as well
3. said male dancer has a tattoo that inspired the one i just got
4. said dancer (Jason) does a lyrical solo in her concert. i do lyrical dancing
5. other male dancer in her show was wearing puma boots. i have puma boots
6. her dance stlye is modern/hip hop/abstract lyrical/a little quarky....just my style
7. the male dancers, 6 of them, dance in briefs, feathers, in the showers, and in running pants. all things i like
8. her costumes are made by John Galliano. Let's talk.
9. she had 3 blonde dancers in her tour
10. she likes men who look like men, not boys who look like men

see, this is why i will dance for kylie and why i need to go to the gym right now. byeeeeee

ouch

its crazy how in one moment you can go from the highest of highs to feeling like you got the rug pulled out from under you

8.10.2007

mom, the last part has foul language but the first part is about the little mermaid

Today fulfilled a childhood dream. I got to see the little mermaid statue that inspired the fairytale and classic Disney movie.

So we’re in copenhangen and inbetween rehearsals me shaunacy kim mashawn Janelle and jeff sneak out and walk to the coast to see this little statue. We get to this place there there a moat, defense walls, an old cottage style town, a swamp (just like the kiss the girl scene) and ducks and all that stuff. It was crazy, we walk around…the wrong way…and then find out way to the statue. Its maybe the size of a small woman. Just this little mermaid perched on a rock right by the shore. She looks really sad and is kinda slumped over with her finned legs crossed and to her side. She’s a little fatter than the Disney version and looks like she’s crying. Maybe that cause in the real story she dies and prince eric isn’t NEARLY as hot. But it was nuts seeing it. I’ve wanted to see the statue since I learned in existed and today I finally got to see it. We jumped in the water, climbed the rocks and took our pics with her. I named her ariel.

Other than ariel it was a pretty uneventful day. Shit tons of rehearsals, boat drill, opening night bumper show and soon I head back to more rehearsals. At least they feed us right. Oh well, today makes the first day of a new cruise and that means only 5 more. I’m not counting down or nothing. Also and lastly, Ricardo left today. I just happened to see him leave the ship from the gangway and he blew me a kiss. I miss that guy. But he was wearing an ugly shirt so it made the goodbye less painful. It was gross…orange brown and white longsleeve rugby style shirt. Clearly he wasn’t thinking and had packed all his cute stuff.

P.S. here’s something i haven’t done in a hot minute…vent. So we’re on our changover with the new girl..basically blocking and putting her into to all the shows. 1st thing 1st, ho could be a little more on her game. 2nd and most importantly…WE HAVE TWO MONTHS LEFT. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO COME IN AND TELL US WE’VE BEEN DOING THINGS WRONG FOR THE PAST 4 MONTHS. We were taught some of these shows by 8 different people and if you are just now realizing people are doing different things maybe you should just LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE. Rehearsing 12 hours a day and then in the last hours of the morning getting told you’re wrong when you know you’re right really pisses people off. This is the case with the lovely Rotterdam cast. The majority of the notes of our last run tonight at midnight of our Broadway show were for us, not the new girl. The fuck man? Why did it take 4 months to realize we’re doing it differently. This is bullshit. I’m so irritated right now I’m on the verge of just not caring. We’ve had 3 changovers this contract and frankly that’s 2 too many. Each time a new teacher comes and reteaches certain parts. Adding an “and count” or holding a full count here and there really makes you go crazy and only makes things sloppier cause people usually don’t remember those pain in the ass fucking details. Mash has shut down and stopped talking to people. Shaunacy and kim are just annoyed, tired, and hungry. Nitty is on the verge of cutting a bitch. I’m to the point of just saying thank you and looking the other way. Or what I did tonight and joking tell the teacher to check the tapes and then she does and then the note I was given has now been taken back cause I was right or whatever. Jeff is just there. Peter still can’t really take a note but is over it. and stissy is pissy. We’re in the home stretch of this contract and the last thing we need is to be relearning the shows. That’s what I’m getting at. The end. I need to stop.

more rehearsals slash my ricardo leaves

Well andrea is here. She doesn’t blend with us at all. I mean we all talk to her and whatever but she has little side comments, always to me, saying things like “what is this cast like 5 years old?” just little stuff. But whatever, we have two months left and there’s no need to make a close friend. Don’t think its awkward or anything but she’s just not like us. She’s really hard edged and not a pretty dancer and all of us are goofy and let loose and are pretty. Its ok though. That’s all.

But today is one of the most depressing days OF MY LIFE. Haha. Ricardo leaves. He’s my straight boyfriend who has a girlfriend but is really in love with me…..so I tell myself. He’s really turned into one of my better friends on this ship so its really sad to see him go. He’s so nice and always asks about matt and never wants to do anything that would make matt mad, even if it means hugging. he’s so thoughtful. But he got upset tonight when I went to say goodbye cause he said he was really gonna miss me. We exchanged emails so I guess that will do until the next time we meet. But yeah, I’ll miss him. Its like when you’ve just graduated highschool and the summer is over and you’re all about to go to college. Its that feeling. You’re not sure if you’ll ever see them again but can only remember all the fun times. I guess this is the downside to ship life; you spend everyday with a certain group of people and then you all leave sporadically. But to make matters even worse, NEXT cruise marks the departure of Ferdinand and George…my other two favorite pinnacle boys. This is gonna be rough. Ferdinand always brings us free food, gives me new dance music, and takes such good care of us. This blows. Whatever.

Today we’ll continue blocking andrea into the shows but me shaunacy mashawn and kim are gonna try to sneak off the ship and see the little mermaid statue in Copenhagen. Hope we make it. Love you bubs

Lesson of the day: I like Burbury cologne cause its what Ricardo wears and I learned that I’m the guy people come to when they have something bitchy to say. Apparently its my sense of humor so people are drawn to me when they have something negative to say. That’s cool.

8.07.2007

some russia and stuff. days of the past few

Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna talk to you about this little cruise we’re on right now…from the show’s point of view. First show was a full cast of 9 (the new girl gets here in a day). Second show of the cruise was done as singer show for one performance and a full cast of 9 for the second performance. Our second show of the cruise was done as a 8 person cast because I was labeled unfit to perform my duties because it was thought I broke my foot. After sitting out the shows and a series of x-rays they have found no break but don’t know why my foot hurts. Our third show was today, and mashawn was quarantined in his room for the next four days with some kind of virus so about an hour before the show we had to reblock the whole thing. That’s the 3rd reblock we’ve had to do this cruise and all right before the curtain comes up. I’m over it, but I finally got to do some sweet sweet fouettes center stage by myself. Haha. Gross.

But today and tonight was spent in St. Petersburg. We went to the church of spilt blood and the black market during the day. After the show we all went up to the sports deck (the top deck of the ship) and watched stacy sing in a band while the crew had a party. How rockstar is that…a party on top of a ship in the middle of st. Petersburg. It was so real world. It was fun. Then we got ready and went back to Metro club. The upstairs was closed, the floor with the male dancers so we all hung out in the hip hop/pop room. It was fun. We took some absinth shots (they set it on fire 3 times and you inhale each fumes, then you drink the shot and they put the glass upside down on a straw and you inhale the fumes again. It messes you up. I felt nothing. I’m a tank apparently. But it was fun. We just danced all night. My two dutch boyfriends Ricardo(pinnacle grill) and Mikael(housekeeper) were fun as well and we danced all night. I told them I don’t appreciate it when they talk in dutch around me because I can’t understand it. They then punched me and said to learn dutch. Great story eh. Thrilling. I’m bored. Anways, I’m gonna sleep for a long long time. Love you



August 6, 2007,

Ok, so I’m gonna tag team this entry and cover another day, today. We slept in, ate, went to the gym and then surprised Natalie with a dinner in the pinnacle for her birthday. It was another great meal full of wonderful things. Then we came back to our rooms, decorated the new girls room(her name is andrea) with all kinds of streamers ballons trash tampons a rock a diet coke can and pictures of Disney princesses. She’s gonna love us. She gets here in the morning and thus begins our 3rd changover of the contract. We spent the next 8 days rehearsing her into the shows. Annoyed I will be but at least hopefully we’ll have a full cast. Mashawn is still in confinement for something he doesn’t have anymore. He had the 24 hour flu he thinks but now he’s ok. Um, other than that things are you. Our lead singer is in a funk cause he hasn’t been to the gym and he’s being unnecessarily rude towards people so I’m givin him some distance till he comes out of it or goes to the gym, whichever comes first. What set me off was when I put a pic of a naked guy on the new girls door and covered his penis with a balloon and he got mad at me, scolded me like a 4 year old and told me to take it down because we didn’t know her. KEEP IN MIND THERE WAS A TAMPOON WITH RED MARKER ON IT ALREADY TAPED TO THE DOOR (a bloody tampon if you will). Cause THAT’S OK. Ew, I was irritated and clearly still am. It was stuff like that all night. He was a real downer at natalies birthday dinner. But I’m not here to vent so I will stop. I’m sure he’ll come out of it, just hope its before all the rehearsals begin in the morning. The end. Again.


August 7, 2007

Screw it I’m gonna triple team this entry. Andrea got here today, seems a little negative and is not like our cast at all but she’ll be ok. She just learned 5 shows in 12 days and flew halfway around the world to get here so I can’t fully blame her. She is however a smoker a drinker and rumor has it was a hussy on her last contract. Whatevs, I’m not judging. She looks like linsday lohans mom.

Also matt auditioned for Stiletto yesterday and he said it went really well. I got to talk to him for a little today and I’m calling him later. Makes me happy. In a perfect world we could do a ship together, travel the world and get paid. But whatever, I’m just happy he had a good audition.

Lesson of the day: this is like our 3rd changover (that means 8 hours a day of rehearsals. Gross) and that means that I have to smile for 8 hours. This is gonna be tough. Really there is no lesson. I’m sorry I labeled it a lesson. God, I’m a failure

8.02.2007

watchin family guy

we're in wernermunde, germany. its a seaside town on the north shore of Germany. i went walkin around to the grocery and to look at stuff for drew and chad. i found nothing and on my way back ran into some of the assisant cruise directors and a musician and decided to jump on a train and go to Rostock. its a town about 20 minutes inland, college type town. we got there, walked around, found an h&m, bought some real cute underwear, had some subway, took some pictures, and then climed 200 steps up a body-wide spiral stone staircase to the top of a steaple/steeple/whatever at a church. it was really cool, it looked out over the whole town. did you like my use of commas. niiiiiiiiiice

i think the funniest part of the day was when i was eating lunch talkin to one of the assistant cruise directors and we were talkin about gays and kids. she asked me if i was going to raise my kids gay or let them be straight. i laughed inside and then said i would make them play sports and listen to musicals. sigh, some people.

lesson of the day: subway in germany gives you the option of cream cheese spread on your sandwiches, feta cheese, or sliced cheese. and once you drink a bottle of coke they let you return the empty bottle and give you 15 euros. thats great i think.