10.29.2007
looking forward to tomorrow
10.28.2007
i've lost my sparkle
last night was a halloween party at OCU and i went cause matt goes there. i was a unicorn. i had some shiny fabric around my waist, some rainbow slippers, and i glittered a cone and put it on my forehead. i also covered my body in glitter, tied yarn in my hair to make a mane, and had ice crystals on my face. also, i was drunk but not really
matt went as a sperm donation. he dressed in all white, i made him a sperm tail, and he walked around inside a plastic cup that said sperm bank. "you do the jerk, we'll do the work"
and lizzy went as a pinata. she's mexican and fringed fabric all over herself. she won. see picture above.
we had a good night though. i hung out with the 5 people that like me and we had a grand time in the bedroom just laughing and watching matt knock things over with his cup and me with my horn. aftewards we went to taco bell. i drove with my horn outside the window and the lady at taco bell did not think our car(filled with a unicorn, a sperm, a pinata, bam bam, and a girl from the wedding singer) was very humorous. i think she gave me a lecture about being safe tonight. i think i said something about how my horn would take care of us and thank you.
i made a new friend. his name is kaleb. apparently he's a big ol mess but he's really funny and really cute. and lizzy and i talk about kaleb all day cause it makes matt mad. matt used to crush on him so i give him a hard time and always talk about that boy kaleb. but you know how you make fun of something so much you start to like it. i prolly have a crush on him now. haha. he's 18. that is trouble. and i love how mad it makes matt. but i just got told to drop the kaleb thing. i can never have any fun. he's the bam bam in the above pictures. also, allison, MY GIRL, is rainbow bright with matt
i don't feel good. i'll drive home tomorrow.
p.s. saw miss ocu last night. words can't describe slash it was the quietest miss ocu i've ever been to. some slut won. and some asian girl sang "wouldn't it be loverly" from My Fair Lady the musical. she sang about how a 6 year old would sing, and she was pigeon toed, and she smiled really really awkwardly and i think caressed the mic stand at one point. and this other girl, sharra rivera wore high waisted country jeans cause the opening number was Oklahoma....she was the only one
10.26.2007
le villi
10.25.2007
another random list
i'm going as a unicorn for halloween (stole it from shaunacy...but she didn't have rainbow slippers slash hoofs)(how do you spell hoofs)
i taught a class last night and i think it went really well. there are some amazing freshman here, its nice to see
my favorite artist right now is Ingrid Michaelson
i like pie
i haven't been to the gym, i am a bad person
some part of me is holding off on replying to royal carribean. i just can't turn my info in
next week i'll be in new mexico making 1,000,000 dollars cleaning my grandmothers windows
i'm struggling to come up with blog ideas to keep this interesting. help me out. let me hear your ideas.
i think thats all
10.21.2007
oklahomouncomfortable
so i did nothing today. not a damn thing. i watched all of season 2 and 3 of so you think you can dance and i'm danced out. i have no desire to go on another cruise ship and just want to dance contemporary for the rest of my life....or until my knees go out. um, went to the mall today with my friend todd to watch him get his hair cut. keep in mind i'm in oklahoma again and so the conversation with the hairdresser was interesting and awkward. todd went to one of those master cuts type place and it was bootleg from minute go. black lady behind the counter sayin how her 11.5 years experience knows better that todd don't want no military haircut. then fatty who was cuttin his hair started talkin about how she hates musicals and then all the patrons were agreeing. then i said something about dancing, todd caught my drift and then the conversation moved to homosexuals. my favorite part was watching this country cow try to understand and relate to us talkin about how she "knows one" and he always goes to that "dance club." then she told us how she went to that club and watched a really funny show where the guys "you know, dress up like girls" and dance around. said it was really good. i proceeded to stand up, sing some wicked, kick my face and take my gay ass out of master cuts. holler. god knows they thought we were sleeping together cause all gays are the same and do that.
i didn't really sing or battement my face, but i did however sing a little "Get me bodied" when it came on over the radio. actually that was yesterday but i thought it would help this story a little so there you have it. walk across the floor like naomi campbell walk!
10.19.2007
call me bitches
i don't really wanna get into how its working just know i'm not proud of what i had to do
10.18.2007
here's some random
- i got a new phone, still can't call me though. it was free and i use the cover as a mirror. hot
- i like buffalo chicken
- i had a high figer cereal for breakfast......yep
- finally had a solid poo in 7 months. those ships are killer on your intestines
- i like the following new shows, alot: weeds, pushing daisies, and private practice
- haven't been to the gym since i've been home but lost 5 pounds
- i have a bananna a day and i like it. i also like soy milk
- i bought some plants for lizzy's fish Randy.
- callie is my favorite character on Grey's Anatomy
- i miss my cast
- i'm ready to dance
- i miss dude'r, my dog
10.17.2007
he said she said i said BYE BITCH
10.15.2007
and i quote.....
what is this? what does this mean? does the whole dance world think i'm obese? i hate not having a 6 pack. anorexia slash excerexia begins now. and what the fuck about "be at your best..." who do they think i am. they should know better. ew
10.14.2007
welcome home
p.s. it was really good to see my family and matt and lizzy and stephen again. one girl asked what happened to my voice and i was this close to telling her i had a vocal chord transplant in italy. dumb girl
p.s.s. its like i never left this little town of oklahoma city
10.11.2007
last day, last hours, and this ship smells like asshole
10.10.2007
1 day left
10.07.2007
"listen to your sister and if she's wrong you can punch her"
Well, I spent the day in the Holy Land and only cussed twice. I’d say that’s pretty damn good.
First stop of the day was the Mt. Of Olives. Actually before I get to that let me just start by saying I know nothing about the religion I claim as my own. And after spending a day learning about Jesus and his last few days on earth, I can say I still don’t know much about Christianity but I can say that the day made me think long and hard about organized religion and various related topics, most of which were spear headed by seeing a gay couple at the Church of the Sepulchre(the site of the crucifixion and burial of Jesus)…but we’ll get to that a little later, if at all. Back to the Mt. Of Olives. This is the area of Jesus’ last prayer, his arrest, and a great spot to overlook Jerusalem and old Jerusalem. It looks upon the western gate, or the golden gate, which remains closed until the coming of the messiah. You can see the massive walls surrounding Old Jerusalem and suddenly all of Sunday school comes rushing back to me. It was so weird to see the place I had grown up hearing about and reading about in Sunday school. And even though I hated church with almost every fiber of my being, seeing the setting for some of the stories was awe-inspiring. Some dude was up there with a camel wanting to give rides and take pictures and then there were people selling postcards and pictures and stuffed camels. But once you learned to ignore them, or just sneak in a camel picture of your own, it was cool to look out over the city. On the side of the hill was a Jewish cemetery. It looked like the rice fields in Asia carved into rows on the sides of the mountains. Above ground graves on the west side of the old city waiting for the messiah to bring them back into the city. Or at least that’s what I gathered from my Palestinian tour guide.
Next stop was the garden and the Sanctuary of Gethsemane. This is where Jesus was betrayed by Judas, arrested, and said his final prayer before doing who know what. It was a simple garden with 8 olive trees who are said to be the 8 witnesses of Jesus’ agony and last prayer. The coolest part was the 2000 year old olive tree that he prayed under and still bares fruit. I took my picture by it. Then we went inside the church and it was guilded like no other and at the front of the altar was a rock that was on the ground and everybody was kneeling before it, touching it, and saying a prayer. I’m thinking it was either the “rock of agony”. It’s the original rock. Outside the church was another rock with a carvin in it. Although not the original I feel, this is where Jesus was so worried bout us he sweat blood. Or maybe that was the rock of agony, either way I don’t know but it was very interesting.
Next stop was mt. Zion. We went to a church that was built on the outskirts of the northern entrance to the old city where the last supper was held. It was empty.
We went into mt. Zion and through the gates and entered the old city. We saw some roman pillars, not sure what they are. And we made our way through the Stations of the Cross to the church of the Sepulchre. I didn’t get to hear anything about the various stations because our tour guide was awful and would leave us behind and then get mad when we couldn’t find him. I digress. we walked down part of the Via Delorosa. I did a lyrical dance because it’s the most overplayed Christian lyrical solo song, even though Lauren Linville’s solo to it was gorgeous and inspired and won 1st overall at nationals. I digress further. I have no idea what this church is or what its significance is or anything about it. Afterwards on the bus ride home I realized just what I saw. This is how bad our tour guide was. This is what I saw inside the church: the window to the right of the front door is the exact spot where Jesus was crucified. Inside directly in front of you is the actual slab of stone Jesus was prepared for burial on. To the right, up the stairs was an altar with Jesus and his two marys on either side over the crack in the earth that occurred when he did. It’s the actual crack. To the left of the front door is the tomb of Jesus located in a big rotunda called the Anastasia. The entire church was built over the site of Jesus’ last hours spent on earth. There were rocks and pillars behind glass in the walls of the church or in altars around the church. There were layers and layers, basements and a floor…this church was literally built around the site of crucifixion. I had no idea during my 30 minutes at this church the importance of where I was or what I could have touched and prayed over.
And now a moment of refection: Since I was so unaffected at the time I WAS affected by an attractive, sporty, gay couple who were holding hands in front of Jesus’ tomb. Something about that moment was so profound to me that I just stood back and thought to myself for a little bit. The battle between being homosexual and being Christian is something that I’ve fought my entire life it seems. And then here, at the most sacred place in the Christian world was an out and affectionate gay couple. How could these things exist at the same time? My mind raced around all the different religions and beliefs I’ve come across in my day and I realized just how negative and restrictive Christianity is. I can accept Jesus as my savior yet I can’t love who I can’t help but love? How is that so? I am accepted as a peer but my lifestyle condemns me? I don’t understand it. I didn’t then and I sure as hell don’t know now. I look at the eastern religions and it’s more of the same only less harsh at times. All these religions accept Jesus as a prophet yet Christianity won’t accept their messiahs as prophets. Why is that? Then I’m watching CNN and its saying how the Muslims are telling their people that their chosen one is returning and god will send Jesus down to help buffer and mediate the confusion of the Christians and he will tell the Christians that the only way to be is Muslim. What is this? Why are these major religions so hell-bent on dominating and being the only true religion? I don’t really want to be a part of that I think. That’s not really my style. Although my thoughts are still young in their conception I feel as though all the major religions point to one main “being”, one God if you will. I believe there is something out there and something that unites us all but I don’t think it’s strictly Jesus, or strictly Muhammad or Buddha, or that fool out there in Utah or found a book and gave us Mormons. It think those people are a path to the greater being but I don’t think one is more legit that the other….accept for that Mormon guy, I just don’t buy it. But back to my point, I think if you are spiritual in your own life and find your own way to God, or Allah, or whomever; you have achieved your religion and your spirituality. I like the way to Buddhists and others put it….when you achieve your utmost enlightenment you are complete, you’re at your nirvana. Its just something cool to think about. I’m not sold on the idea of heaven either yet I still imagine myself sitting on my little cloud with my golden hair and white robe watching the world from afar. My thoughts took me to the book of revelations and the second coming, or first coming depending on your views. I want to watch it from afar; I want to see just what happens. I want to be proven to that all this studying and schooling is for something real. That has been my issue with religion from the beginning. It’s a matter of blind faith and sometimes I just like to have things proven to me. Maybe that touches on something deeper in my psyche or maybe its just how things are. And to come full circle, this trip to Jerusalem and the sites depicted in the stories of the bible, things proven true to me. Jesus was in that garden, Jesus was crucified on that spot, and Jesus was buried at the point. Jesus was a real person. So if that means that I’ve accepted more Christian beliefs then so be it but I still stand behind what I said earlier about finding your own way to God. I do know however that I want to raise my children, if I get to that point, in a church and let them decide for themselves after all the morals and teachings have taken root J Whatever, I’m just a dancer who can turn good. I’ll leave the religion to the pros slash people who think their pros.
Our last stop was the Wailing Wall. This is where Jews go to pray on the wall. They pray here because it borders the Muslim quarters where the Jews weren’t allowed to pray anymore so this is as close as they can get to the western wall. The neat thing is is that you can see the oils and sweat of all the people who have prayed there over the years. I said my own little prayer, after putting on my cardboard yamaka(or however you spell it), and thanked god for making me so pretty and to keep my family safe. I’m a good little Christian boy.
So yeah, that’s my day in Jerusalem. We got back to the ship and Jeb, Shaunacy, Kim, and Jeff all went to the Pinnacle for a nice night of amazing 5 star food and wine. We got some free desert wine after our meal and some shots that were on the house. Haha. We stole our shotglasses. I love the 4 of us.
I’ll be sure and post some pictures once I get home (because it’s too hard to on the ship) so you can see all these places I talked about….check back in a week or so. 6 days left ya’ll. 6 days.
p.s. that quote in my title came from a Jewish man wearing a circular fur hat with two ringlets of hair on either side of his face following about 4 of his kids. The little girl was complaining in Hebrew and that was his response. I laughed OUT LOUD!!!!
10.05.2007
seven days....of HELL
On a more interesting note we have 7 days left and I think today it hit me how much I’m going to miss these people, well 8 out of 10. I’ve spent every hour of every day for the last 7 months with these guys and they are basically family now. I’m not gonna know what to do with myself when I wake up and don’t have a hallway to walk down to see who’s awake. I won’t be able to go into Nitty/Stissy’s room or Shaunacy/Kim’s room. I won’t hear dreamgirls or some boy band blasting from mashawns room or espn coming from peters. Its just gonna be sad I think. These peoples personalities are amazing and its gonna suck. Oh well, here are some things I won’t miss
Andrea – you may know her has the new girl. She’s a fucked up individual and its wearing me out. Last night during one of our dinner shows she got drunk inbetween numbers. She was loud and obnoxious with some of the crew staff and our cruise director(who probably can whip satan into shape) kept telling them to keep it down. Welll she wouldn’t and went up to a guy and playfully hit him. Mind you somebody had already fired off a confetti cannon that we use into the small holding room where we all were. Nobody cleaned it up so me and Janelle (crazy) did. Anyways I digress. So it looked like she hit this guy and somebody goes don’t hit him. Not in a mad way just kinda in a playful way. Well that drunk slut flipped out. Said we were all ganging up on her and stuff and saying how we’re always loud in the hallway, etc, etc. so mashawn told her to calm down(now mashawn doesn’t get involved in peoples drama but he’s had enough and the half of him that’s black was ready to go….i said it) I get up to clean up more stuff and I was talking to myself saying how she’s not pretty enough, talented enough, or skinny enough to be in this cast. All things I should have kept to myself. Oh well, you live and you learn. She flips OUT after mashawn said “I f-ing hate you all. Don’t ever talk to me again,” sits there and pouts for a while, starts crying, leaves the room and slams the door. Lets keep in mind that all the guests are next door eating dinner and our cruise director, susan(satan’s life coach) is sitting right there as well. Here are some things I left out earlier. In mid conversations about nothing realated to this event she told stacy to shut up and cut Janelle off with a “DUH”. Now, telling stacy to shut up is like pissing on one of those precious moment dolls that are praying with their teddy bear. There’s no need to EVER do that. This slut is asking for it. Anways, we go about our little dinner theatre show, she yells at some Indonesian for bumping into her on accident and we retire to our beds. I’m sure more shit happened but we all just ignore her now. I’m just really tired of this dysfunctional untalented person living with us. She should have been fired yesterday for being drunk on the job. She tells us things like she has 2 other sisters and the three girls all have a different dad and the 7 year old likes to get herself off by humping the couches. WHAT THE FUCK MATE. And this andrea girl has men knocking on her door of all hours of the night….happened last night….and none of these guys are SINGLE or ATTRACTIVE. One of them looks like a hairy version of a toad with downs syndrome and the other is a bald guy who’s gf was just on board. SLUT. “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US” I hate this whore and so help me god if she says anything to me. Luckily she’s not confrontational so she prolly won’t be we all made a pact and that’s if she comes at any of us she’s coming at all of us. Janelle (crazy #1) is manageable cause she’s just paranoid, but this bitch is alcoholic crazy and that needs to be dealt with. Oh well, I’m sure this didn’t read as dramatic as it really was but its hard when you have to live with somebody who you all hate because of their work ethic, morals, and lifestyle or their ability to be two-faced and backstab(just last week she told us all how much she loved our cast and was so happy to be here and now she fucking hates us.). I’m not even gonna get started on her talent.
So yeah, 7 days. Tomorrow we’re going on a tour to Jerusalem to walk in Jesus’ footsteps. I hope we have the same size feet cause then I’ll have even more proof that I am the HOLY GRAIL.