So let me just share with you faithful readers about the things that have been irritating me lately. I’m gonna do this in a bulleted format to keep it simple but we all know I’m gonna go off on some of them…
Janelle, “crazy” from earlier posts
The flies in my salad and lunch
That one fly that was in my water glass
Jeff not showering(I don’t know why that gets to me, I love him, but I woke up this morning and was so irritated he didn’t take a shower after spending all day yesterday in Egypt. Egypt smells y’all. It smells like anus. Jeff doesn’t, but personally I would want to get rid of that shit)
The fact that I was goaded about jeff not showering. Who does that
Janelle and chad(her boyfriend)
The fact that anybody can read this and I’m sure its gonna bite me in the ass one day. Probably when anybody from stiletto, Janelle, andrea or peter read this. Which about peter, please know that peter and I handle our business and we talk and he knows that I love him and only talk about it because I have nothing else to talk about that day or it’s a day like today and I’m irritable. Much love to my Mexican hombre. And by Mexican, I mean half puerto Rican half Italian. And by puerto Rican I mean Dominican. And by Italian I mean Sicilian. Shitdamn.
These fuckin rhinestones. So jeff loves to collect them which is cute but PLEASE don’t do them while I’m workin my ass off trying to dance in a show. Our show showgirl require a costume change every other number for me and mashawn. Its very demanding. The last thing I need is somebody who’s in 3 numbers crawling around on the floor looking for rhinestones. I love you jeff so I’m not talking shit on you, just the quest for rhinestones
I’m annoyed that the quest for rhinestones irritates me
Lets talk about why I’m so irritable…….
I’ll go back to Janelle, she’s making shit up and is super paranoid right now and its workin my last god damn nerve. Speaking of god damn, she won’t say that but she’ll say fuck. I’m sorry, you can’t just half cuss…thats like being half gay(not to be confused with bisexual cause we all know that is just a myth). But yeah, she’s just really rude to people lately especially the new girl andrea. Now don’t go thinking I’m on andrea’s side cause I sure as hell ain’t, but still, you don’t need to be rude. That’s just inappropriate. So rude.
p.s stacy is brilliant she just rapped all of a gwen Stefani song and it cheered me up; she’s also dancing in a dress with her hands in her pockets and spinning in circles doing flea hops. This girl is a god-send. Praise her and her innocence.
Anyways, we have one cruise left, 13 day. Today I walked around the deck for cancer. It was really cool. A survivor of 16 years led us on 11 laps around the deck. Kinda got a little emotional. Then I had a man ask me how much I work out because I LOOK GREAT and he was really impressed seing a man with my build dance and was saying how refreshing it was. Don’t hear that everyday when you’re a chronic “weight problem”. However, it did get a little strange when he asked me how often, for how many hours, and how many years have I been working out. I think I said 5 years but a good 3.5 of those years were spent balancing a good case of the “rexias” and “emias”. Guess I have to keep starving myself cause now I’m getting compliments. My new favorite blog told me he eats toilet paper as a midday snack. I’ll have to check that one out.
Alright I’m done, I’m not longer irritable cause stacy’s annoying ass energy made me smile. Also we just watched the best of Sheri O’Teri and I ate some ice cream with chocolate and sprinkles……..and peanut butter. The end.
9.25.2007
well you know
i got nothing, this ship is boring as all hell. 17 days left
gonig to the kelly clarkson concert with my sister and MY boyfriend(just to clear up any confusion....I am gay and have a boyfriend of over two years, his name is matt, and well this way you will all know that i'm going to the concert with MY boyfriend and not my sisters cause she doesn't have one cause she doesn't need one cause she's a pimp and the strongest most badass girl i know and so far above trash its not even funny any more!)(is that more clear mother?) in november. thats gonna be friggin awesome
gonig to the kelly clarkson concert with my sister and MY boyfriend(just to clear up any confusion....I am gay and have a boyfriend of over two years, his name is matt, and well this way you will all know that i'm going to the concert with MY boyfriend and not my sisters cause she doesn't have one cause she doesn't need one cause she's a pimp and the strongest most badass girl i know and so far above trash its not even funny any more!)(is that more clear mother?) in november. thats gonna be friggin awesome
9.21.2007
i got nothin
nothing new to report. i'm sick with sinus stuff. new girl is afraid of me. ate lots of food for parties and stuff. we have the rest of this cruise and one more left. i just got another job for more money on a different cruise line and then i'm off of the oceans for a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time. now the company i work for is upset i went somewhere else but the way i see it is don't treat me like a fat piece of shit and then get mad i don't come back. sorry
9.17.2007
a page from the Old Jeb
One last thing. Keep in mind I was just on a 14 hour tour through 90 degree Egypt. This new girl. She’s about to get slapped. PULLS ME ASIDE to tell me somebody told her I said she was difficult to work with. She gave me that innocent straight girl flirty eye feel sorry for me look to which I gave her the I hate you look and said I never said that. I said I don’t work with you at any point so why would I say you are hard to work with. (What she does realize is that I think she’s lazy, not hard to work with). Anyways, so I ask her who told her and with that same shit look she said does it really matter. I said it sure does cause how else will I know if you’re not making this up. She told me a name and I said that’s funny cause I don’t even talk to him. The she was like are you mad at me I don’t want you to be mad at me. I said I don’t care enough about this to be mad at anybody. THEN she goes “well he said one other thing” she broke eye contact and said “he said that if I get in your way onstage you’re going to hit me”. I proceeded to leave the room. I went to my room to tell jeff and shaunacy what she was saying and she came down the hall and was like don’t be mad at me. I said “look, when I’m on stage I’m dancing full out and if somebody runs into me I’m going to hit them cause I’m dancing. CLEARLY.” Then I said, “kinda like what happened last night when you ran into me while I was swinging a chair around me, I’m not gonna stop my choreography because you’re in the wrong spot after I’ve told you every show not to be there.” I said, “ and furthermore why would I talk to or about people I don’t really care about.” THIS BITCH, I’m so exhausted with this contract and dancing and people like this who are so fucking insecure that they thrive on making up and living in other peoples drama. AND OF COURSE I TALK ABOUT YOU ANDREA. She’s lazy, eats like shit, has gained weight since she’s been here, 3 weeks, still doesn't know the shows or their blocking, and always says she sooooo fat and hates her body to get compliments. She’s not fat but she’s not skinny. She has a tiny upperbody and tiny legs, no ass, and what looks like a pillow underneath her midsection. It sucks for her cause our cast is a machine when it comes to the girls, they are all stunning. But my suggestion to this bitch is STOP EATING CHOCOLATE FILLED CROISSANTS AT 4 IN THE MORNING AND CHUGGING BOTTLES OF WINE EVERYNIGHT AND EATING ENTIRE BOXES OF PASTRIES between your salad and sandwich for lunch and dinner. Stupid slut. She’s also fucking like 3 guys and acts like she isn’t. I don’t have time for her. All she’s getting is the time it took me to type this out. The end
more proof that i'm the holy grail
basically I am the prince of Egypt. What do you think about that? Pretty cool. Anyways, Egypt looks like the underside of satans toilet. You know that area that collects samples of your feces right on the other side of the seat. Yeah, that’s that it looks like…except it has sand too. Alexandria and Cairo have got to be one of the ugliest places I’ve ever been. Instead of grass there was sand, sand roads, sand buildings, sand rivers, its everywhere. I realize it’s the desert and all but if you’re gonna have a couple million inhabitants I suggest you get your shit together. Trash was often what the streets are made of and you can see it being swept into the little canals in the street. Water turned to trash and it made me realize, on my three hour bus ride from Alexandria to Cairo, just how much we’re harming this planet. I know that’s deep but its all I could see. That and people. People lined the entire stretch of highway, they just looked like they were wandering around. I’m sure they weren’t but still. Its just scary at times.
Whatever
So we go to the Museum of Antiquities first. To keep with my previous descriptions this was the ugliest I’ve seen. It was like magenta. When I got inside the walls were peach. Gross. BUT all you can are rows and rows of glass and wooden cases filled to the brim with pottery, sarcophagus’, jewels, jewelry, tombs, statues, chair, etc. its as though everything the Egyptians ever made was in this museum. My favorite part wasn’t King Tuts room with his solid gold sarcophagus and his jewels and his golden mask, wasn’t the massive pictures of the discovered tombs and their artifacts in cases in front of them, but it was the colossus statue of a king and queen. The look like the ones that were built into the wall from my history books. I just stood at the base of them and looked up, they were a couple stories high. It was so insane. I only had about 5 minutes free time and I spent it staring up into the eyes of some old Egyptian king and queen. What sucks is we only saw about 1/3 of the museum due to time restraints on my tour so we had to run but I def. want to go back and visit on my own time.
Next stop was the pyramids. We saw the 3 great pyramids of Giza while the crew tour got to see all 9. but whatever, I didn’t have to pay 100 dollars to see it, I got to see em for free. SUCK ON THAT. But yeah, after being molested by the local camel jockeys for pictures and dollars and taking my picture with the pyramids and sitting on a camel, I decided I needed to go inside the 2nd pyramid. It’s the one with the capstone still on top. Many people think that this is the biggest but it is not. Its built on higher land than the other and even with its extra layer of limestone its still shorter than the one next to it. LOSER. Anyways, we crawled inside the pyramid(my chest was on my legs I was crouched over so far) walked down and then back up and into the giant open room containing the tomb of that pyramids king. The air was about 200% humidity and smelled of feet because of all the foreigners but it was still really cool. Came back out, took more pictures, got molested again and then went to go see the sphinx. Its actually a little larger than I thought it would be. Everybody says its so small but it’s a pretty good size. You can only go around it and the KFC/PizzaHut across the street kinda took the magnificent-ness away from it. Oh and the pigeons sitting on its face. But still, it was cool.
Our last stop was to a bazaar and lunch at some fancy hotel. It was coo, I got my name on a kartush and now have a necklace in Egyptian. Hot. But yeah, came home and went to bed. p.s. my groups tour guide was named Moses. he had some good jokes about leading his people from egypt. i laughed
Here are some things I learned as my day went on:
1. people smell
2. there were 7 cleopatras and the 7th is the one we all talk about
3. the sphinx was carved out of the side of the hill its on. I thought it was built.
4. I saw where the lighthouse in Alexandria was, now it’s a fort. (I saw two world wonders in 1 day)
5. Egypt is divided into 26 governments. Kinda like states
6. Egyptians don’t acknowledge the laws of dring and drive wherever they want at whatever speed. Nor do they drive in a straight line
7. I look good in pink but I already kinda knew that
8. Egyptians are either the ugliest people in the world or the prettiest. There is no inbetween. The pretty ones looked like gods, I’m not even kidding
9. I wish I knew more about the timing of all the kingdoms cause it was really confusing all day
10. all of the kings that united Egypt over the years came from the south.
Whatever
So we go to the Museum of Antiquities first. To keep with my previous descriptions this was the ugliest I’ve seen. It was like magenta. When I got inside the walls were peach. Gross. BUT all you can are rows and rows of glass and wooden cases filled to the brim with pottery, sarcophagus’, jewels, jewelry, tombs, statues, chair, etc. its as though everything the Egyptians ever made was in this museum. My favorite part wasn’t King Tuts room with his solid gold sarcophagus and his jewels and his golden mask, wasn’t the massive pictures of the discovered tombs and their artifacts in cases in front of them, but it was the colossus statue of a king and queen. The look like the ones that were built into the wall from my history books. I just stood at the base of them and looked up, they were a couple stories high. It was so insane. I only had about 5 minutes free time and I spent it staring up into the eyes of some old Egyptian king and queen. What sucks is we only saw about 1/3 of the museum due to time restraints on my tour so we had to run but I def. want to go back and visit on my own time.
Next stop was the pyramids. We saw the 3 great pyramids of Giza while the crew tour got to see all 9. but whatever, I didn’t have to pay 100 dollars to see it, I got to see em for free. SUCK ON THAT. But yeah, after being molested by the local camel jockeys for pictures and dollars and taking my picture with the pyramids and sitting on a camel, I decided I needed to go inside the 2nd pyramid. It’s the one with the capstone still on top. Many people think that this is the biggest but it is not. Its built on higher land than the other and even with its extra layer of limestone its still shorter than the one next to it. LOSER. Anyways, we crawled inside the pyramid(my chest was on my legs I was crouched over so far) walked down and then back up and into the giant open room containing the tomb of that pyramids king. The air was about 200% humidity and smelled of feet because of all the foreigners but it was still really cool. Came back out, took more pictures, got molested again and then went to go see the sphinx. Its actually a little larger than I thought it would be. Everybody says its so small but it’s a pretty good size. You can only go around it and the KFC/PizzaHut across the street kinda took the magnificent-ness away from it. Oh and the pigeons sitting on its face. But still, it was cool.
Our last stop was to a bazaar and lunch at some fancy hotel. It was coo, I got my name on a kartush and now have a necklace in Egyptian. Hot. But yeah, came home and went to bed. p.s. my groups tour guide was named Moses. he had some good jokes about leading his people from egypt. i laughed
Here are some things I learned as my day went on:
1. people smell
2. there were 7 cleopatras and the 7th is the one we all talk about
3. the sphinx was carved out of the side of the hill its on. I thought it was built.
4. I saw where the lighthouse in Alexandria was, now it’s a fort. (I saw two world wonders in 1 day)
5. Egypt is divided into 26 governments. Kinda like states
6. Egyptians don’t acknowledge the laws of dring and drive wherever they want at whatever speed. Nor do they drive in a straight line
7. I look good in pink but I already kinda knew that
8. Egyptians are either the ugliest people in the world or the prettiest. There is no inbetween. The pretty ones looked like gods, I’m not even kidding
9. I wish I knew more about the timing of all the kingdoms cause it was really confusing all day
10. all of the kings that united Egypt over the years came from the south.
9.14.2007
clothes, gone
Today we were in Rhodes, Greece. I love this town. I got some cute stuff for family and friends today so that was awesome.
Came home, layed out, watched a fight between the new girl and the girlfriend of the guy she’s sleeping with, got offered a ship on a different line(it’s a massive, brand new ship, new shows, the ship has an ice rink in it, its based out of florida, and spends 6 months in the carribean, just wating to see if they can match the pay I’m getting now), and tried to explain myself amidst a myriad of questions.
Went to get my laundry out of the dryer and found that the washing machine put little black oil polka dots all over my blues/greens/yellows. Isn’t that just FUCKING AWESOME. Good thing I didn’t’ turn my clothes right side out cause some only got damage on the inside. See dad, I have a reason for leaving my clothes inside out, saved me a couple hundred dollars in damage just now.
Came home, layed out, watched a fight between the new girl and the girlfriend of the guy she’s sleeping with, got offered a ship on a different line(it’s a massive, brand new ship, new shows, the ship has an ice rink in it, its based out of florida, and spends 6 months in the carribean, just wating to see if they can match the pay I’m getting now), and tried to explain myself amidst a myriad of questions.
Went to get my laundry out of the dryer and found that the washing machine put little black oil polka dots all over my blues/greens/yellows. Isn’t that just FUCKING AWESOME. Good thing I didn’t’ turn my clothes right side out cause some only got damage on the inside. See dad, I have a reason for leaving my clothes inside out, saved me a couple hundred dollars in damage just now.
9.13.2007
untitled
I could spend this entry talking about my tour to Ephesus and the Virgin Mary’s house and I could talk about how I hate asian tourists and the nun that was yelling at them to be quite (and how she had no eyebrows). I could tell you about the 25,000 seat ampitheatre at Ephesus, or seeing the reconstruction of the 3rd largest library in ancient times, or even how badly the men in turkey smell and usually the women too, with their mustaches. But that would be unessesary.
Tonight during our Master Chef dinning room show one of our crew memebers, a dinning room steward, fell to the floor and passed away. He was 30 years old and was in the doctors office this morning but wasn’t treated for anything and then tonight, right before our desert presentation, he passed away. They announced “Bright Star” which is our code for a passing, all the doctors came in, the defibulator machine and then he was carted off to the infirmary. Just a few moments ago he was taken down to the morgue after he lost his battle. It really makes you think. He was only 30 years old.
Dad, on a lighter note, in 3 days I’m going to see the Pyramids, the Sphinx, and the Museum of Antiquities in Cairo. I cannot express how excited I am. I can remember watching all those shows on PBS, History Channel, and even stuff at the Kimbal, and never thought I would get to see them in real life. ALSO, I get to go for free, just like my trip to Ephesus today. I’m crafty
Tonight during our Master Chef dinning room show one of our crew memebers, a dinning room steward, fell to the floor and passed away. He was 30 years old and was in the doctors office this morning but wasn’t treated for anything and then tonight, right before our desert presentation, he passed away. They announced “Bright Star” which is our code for a passing, all the doctors came in, the defibulator machine and then he was carted off to the infirmary. Just a few moments ago he was taken down to the morgue after he lost his battle. It really makes you think. He was only 30 years old.
Dad, on a lighter note, in 3 days I’m going to see the Pyramids, the Sphinx, and the Museum of Antiquities in Cairo. I cannot express how excited I am. I can remember watching all those shows on PBS, History Channel, and even stuff at the Kimbal, and never thought I would get to see them in real life. ALSO, I get to go for free, just like my trip to Ephesus today. I’m crafty
9.10.2007
let the tears fall
It’s a sad day around these parts. I’m sure all you back home have heard about Britney’s performance on the VMA’s last night. All we have seen of it was a clip on CNN and the cast hall way is very concerened. How does someone who was unstoppable not 5 years ago suddenly have shitty hair, fat rolls, and looks completely lost on stage. This was dubbed her comeback and instead it was spent with the few friends she has left laughing at her. I feel sick. I can’t perform tonight. I already took away all the bad things I ever said about Beyonce to mashawn but I still don’t feel right. Britney was my ticket to LA and now she’s a joke. I mean for christ’s sake, she couldn’t even get weave to match her hair color. Britney, listen to me, when you have short hair like that and it was because of your own stupid ass fault, you need to go on the world wide stage, rock the short spikey hair, and actually tell the people its “Britney Bitch”. You’ve let the 4 of us down, your last 4 fans. You’ll be in our prayers.
On a lighter note saw some public titties today in the Ukraine. We were walking around Odessa, Ukraine and came upon a park where, under a gazebo, a woman was conducting a band. There were cameras, a director, personal assistants. The works. The lead lady had a black dress on, a tattoo on her back and her arm and was wearing a white bowtie and librarian glasses. Should have used my context clues so I wouldn’t have been so surprised when after she finished conducting she turned around to the cameras and her dress was pulled off leaving her there in a pair of bootleg white panties and her tatters flopping in the wind. Seeing as I have already given Britney advice I have a few pieces for this hoochie. I’d do a few more crunches and get rid of that rather odd tire around your midsection before you go conducting with your bare titties on film.
That was my day.
On a lighter note saw some public titties today in the Ukraine. We were walking around Odessa, Ukraine and came upon a park where, under a gazebo, a woman was conducting a band. There were cameras, a director, personal assistants. The works. The lead lady had a black dress on, a tattoo on her back and her arm and was wearing a white bowtie and librarian glasses. Should have used my context clues so I wouldn’t have been so surprised when after she finished conducting she turned around to the cameras and her dress was pulled off leaving her there in a pair of bootleg white panties and her tatters flopping in the wind. Seeing as I have already given Britney advice I have a few pieces for this hoochie. I’d do a few more crunches and get rid of that rather odd tire around your midsection before you go conducting with your bare titties on film.
That was my day.
9.08.2007
Today in Istanbul, or Instanbul as Kim says
Useless facts from today:
1. In turkish they spell my name Ceym
2. Andrea (the new girl) annoys the living fuck out of me. I think i treat her like a dog that won't listen and i've given up hope on so i just look at it and then walk away
3. evil eyes ward off jealous and threatning thoughts from other people...i bought 6
1. In turkish they spell my name Ceym
2. Andrea (the new girl) annoys the living fuck out of me. I think i treat her like a dog that won't listen and i've given up hope on so i just look at it and then walk away
3. evil eyes ward off jealous and threatning thoughts from other people...i bought 6
9.05.2007
Sants Rins
Santorini…..this is a vacation. We pulled into the center of an ancient volcano and were surrounded by staggering islands with all white buildings seemingly hanging to the sides of the cliffs. The water is the most brilliant navy blue you’ve ever seen and as we approached the tender point the smell of donkey shit flooded the air.
I rode a donkey to the top of the mountain up to the town of Fira. A donkey. I named him burro, or burns for short, and this bitch decided to take a 15 minute break and just stood in the middle of the road. THEN ho decides to start sprinting up the hill. I pass everybody on the hill and take the lead. Some Canadians in the back were yellin something about me being from Texas but I couldn’t really hear cause Burns was a runnin. We get to the top and just walk around the winding narrow streets filled with shops. Jewelry shops, clothing shops, food shops, you could spread your arms out to the side and touch each store on either side. It was narrow but gorgeous. We walked around for a while and then went to a bar overlooking the ocean and just relaxed in the sun. after then we split up and kim and I took a bus to Kamari beach on the other side of the island. It was a black pebble beach and we walked around, looked at some shops, and stopped at a bar and got a drink. A few hours pass we go back to catch a bus and find more drinks from a grocery store so Kim and I sit on the curb and just drink as the sun is setting in Santorini, Greece as we wait for the bus. Get the bus and head back into town. Go and get a crepe from this store called NRG. I got a crepe with artichoke, chicken, pesto, tomato, feta, and red onion. It was sensational. Then we rode a cable car ski lift thing in total darkness straight down the cliff and back to our tender boat and sailed back to the ship.
Get on the ship and find out we’re having a sail-away party on the back deck. We go out as a cast, grab some drinks, and dance the night away as carly and the hal cats play some live music. Carly, scott, Kevin G…all friends all in the band(hal cats). We basically just did that all night long. Talk about a vacation. This is one night were I would have actually considered this job a vacation.
I rode a donkey to the top of the mountain up to the town of Fira. A donkey. I named him burro, or burns for short, and this bitch decided to take a 15 minute break and just stood in the middle of the road. THEN ho decides to start sprinting up the hill. I pass everybody on the hill and take the lead. Some Canadians in the back were yellin something about me being from Texas but I couldn’t really hear cause Burns was a runnin. We get to the top and just walk around the winding narrow streets filled with shops. Jewelry shops, clothing shops, food shops, you could spread your arms out to the side and touch each store on either side. It was narrow but gorgeous. We walked around for a while and then went to a bar overlooking the ocean and just relaxed in the sun. after then we split up and kim and I took a bus to Kamari beach on the other side of the island. It was a black pebble beach and we walked around, looked at some shops, and stopped at a bar and got a drink. A few hours pass we go back to catch a bus and find more drinks from a grocery store so Kim and I sit on the curb and just drink as the sun is setting in Santorini, Greece as we wait for the bus. Get the bus and head back into town. Go and get a crepe from this store called NRG. I got a crepe with artichoke, chicken, pesto, tomato, feta, and red onion. It was sensational. Then we rode a cable car ski lift thing in total darkness straight down the cliff and back to our tender boat and sailed back to the ship.
Get on the ship and find out we’re having a sail-away party on the back deck. We go out as a cast, grab some drinks, and dance the night away as carly and the hal cats play some live music. Carly, scott, Kevin G…all friends all in the band(hal cats). We basically just did that all night long. Talk about a vacation. This is one night were I would have actually considered this job a vacation.
9.03.2007
and then i was like, "what haaaaaappend"
I went cliff jumping/diving today into the Adriatic sea, specifically in the most beautiful place in the word…Dubrovnik, Croatia. BUT FIRST I’m gonna talk about the dead body that was carted out in front of us before getting off the ship.
So we’re standing in line at the paymaster waiting to get bus tickets to head into town, just mindin our business’ until the nurses, doctors, security, and housekeeper come down the hallway pushing a gurney with a dead man on it wrapped in plastic and a cloth. Basically somebody died on the ship today and they were taking him to the freezer. It was weird, a great way to start a day that involves jumping off a cliff.
So we take a bus to town and let me tell you how gorgeous this place is. OH WAIT, I can’t. I didn’t pay enough attention in class to know words to use to describe how gorgeous this was. The buildings are white with red tile roofs, the water is the most gorgeous shade of transparent/lucent blue I’ve ever seen, and the streets are marble. That’s right folks, marble. This place is breathtaking. They call in the jewel of the Adriatic and the most underrated place in the med. We get to old town and walk around trying to find the “bar with a view” where you can jump off into the ocean. Its this little stand tucked into the side of the cliff/city wall and you literally crawl over the safety railing, shimmy your war across some rocks, walk out and jump off. The first jump was about 50 feet, the higher one was about, I’d say 75 feet. Lets say about 3-5 mississippi’s of hang time once you jumped. Its weird up there though cause you can see the ocean floor, like 40 feet down there, you can see the fishies in the water and your mind is saying “lets go, lets rock this”, but then your body is saying “fuck you dumbass you crazy mother f@#*&.” But once you’re in the air you can’t breath and you just have to tell yourself to point your feet and shut your legs. Shaunacy landed in a chair position and now has purple hamstrings and can’t bend over. Stacy bruised her tailbone. Mashawn cut his toe climbing out of the water. Janelle probably bruised her labias cause she forgot to close her legs. As you can tell some of us are real smart. Anyways, it was fun and we’re going back and as of today I’m saving up money so I can come back on vacation.
After that we just walked around town, got some pizza, ate on a cliff overlooking the ocean while white linen curtains blew in the wind, walked around some more and then came home. I love Dubrovnik. Look it up online when you get a chance, the pictures say it all.
Matt, since you didn’t want to hear about my day when I called you maybe you will read this and hear about it that way. Love you.
Hi mom, hi dad, hello to all my readers. The 4 of you have been so faithful. And just so you all know I’m starting my new diet tonight called starvation…right after I go to the midnight Asian buffet. HOLLER
So we’re standing in line at the paymaster waiting to get bus tickets to head into town, just mindin our business’ until the nurses, doctors, security, and housekeeper come down the hallway pushing a gurney with a dead man on it wrapped in plastic and a cloth. Basically somebody died on the ship today and they were taking him to the freezer. It was weird, a great way to start a day that involves jumping off a cliff.
So we take a bus to town and let me tell you how gorgeous this place is. OH WAIT, I can’t. I didn’t pay enough attention in class to know words to use to describe how gorgeous this was. The buildings are white with red tile roofs, the water is the most gorgeous shade of transparent/lucent blue I’ve ever seen, and the streets are marble. That’s right folks, marble. This place is breathtaking. They call in the jewel of the Adriatic and the most underrated place in the med. We get to old town and walk around trying to find the “bar with a view” where you can jump off into the ocean. Its this little stand tucked into the side of the cliff/city wall and you literally crawl over the safety railing, shimmy your war across some rocks, walk out and jump off. The first jump was about 50 feet, the higher one was about, I’d say 75 feet. Lets say about 3-5 mississippi’s of hang time once you jumped. Its weird up there though cause you can see the ocean floor, like 40 feet down there, you can see the fishies in the water and your mind is saying “lets go, lets rock this”, but then your body is saying “fuck you dumbass you crazy mother f@#*&.” But once you’re in the air you can’t breath and you just have to tell yourself to point your feet and shut your legs. Shaunacy landed in a chair position and now has purple hamstrings and can’t bend over. Stacy bruised her tailbone. Mashawn cut his toe climbing out of the water. Janelle probably bruised her labias cause she forgot to close her legs. As you can tell some of us are real smart. Anyways, it was fun and we’re going back and as of today I’m saving up money so I can come back on vacation.
After that we just walked around town, got some pizza, ate on a cliff overlooking the ocean while white linen curtains blew in the wind, walked around some more and then came home. I love Dubrovnik. Look it up online when you get a chance, the pictures say it all.
Matt, since you didn’t want to hear about my day when I called you maybe you will read this and hear about it that way. Love you.
Hi mom, hi dad, hello to all my readers. The 4 of you have been so faithful. And just so you all know I’m starting my new diet tonight called starvation…right after I go to the midnight Asian buffet. HOLLER
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