ok. i have much to talk about however i will only be focusing on this growth on my right arm. we shall call her sigourne. i begin.
so i'm in hollywood, florida for rehearsals. i'm havin a good time, there are two cute boys in rehearsals, its fun, i'm feelin cute, talented, skinny even...and then SIGOURNE
she starts as this small red bump right about my elbow cleavage on the inside of my arm. no sweat, then, bitch gets pissed off and expands into the size of a large mountain. bright red streaks going into my armpit, swelling, itching, pain, can't bend my arm. it sucks. meanwhile i'm in rehearsal working on this striptease number for one of our shows. takin that jacket and shirt on and off really pissed her off.
so i've seen some doctors about her and got some medication and then last night while at the grocery store shopping for soda water and GIN for my BIRTHDAY at midnight, Sigourne decides she's had enough and takes over my arm. i lost feeling in my hand, my forearm swoll up real big and i decided it was time. after one of my roomates placed stones in my pockets that possessed certain energies and qualities that would help in the healing process (you can imagine my face at this point) i go to the ER. julie and seiji come with me and keep me safe.
keep in mind the swine flu has reached the uneducated so the room is full of "sick" people or "need" to see a doctor "now". anyways, i'm in jeb form and i'm flirtin and talkin to the black girls and having a good time. "mr. maddux, why are you here tonight?" "Oh i don't know, could be this massive amazonian jungle bump on my arm thats oozing out all over the place."
so they take me back and i'm waitin for the doctor to come cut me open, hot nurse number one walks by and smiles at me and i say, "you could get it" and then hot nurse who later dresses my wounds walks by and i say "yesssss". OH, while i'm waiting a cop comes by escorting an old woman in a nightgown, handcuffed, and cussing. this night was turning out to be BRILLIANT.....which is funny cause i'm dancing on a ship called the BRILILANCE. i die. anyways, doctor comes in, cuts open sigourne sticks forceps into her and opens her up and starts pullin my baby out. it was amazing, blood everywhere, puss, sigourne...its as close to giving birth as i'm gonna get, only i didn't get to keep the baby.
the doc packs my hole, wraps me up and gives me some pain pills. PRAISE HIM
so i come home, grab a birthday gin and tonic and go over to my girls apartment for a cast dinner i was late too, then went to an underwear party being thrown by another cast and get a birthday kiss from a really cute boy that ended up with somebody else that night. but thats ok, my night wasn't about boys or my birthday, it was about the birth of my first child, on may 9, 2009, Sigourne
5.10.2009
Jebby vs. Predator
ok. i have much to talk about however i will only be focusing on this growth on my right arm. we shall call her sigourne. i begin.
so i'm in hollywood, florida for rehearsals. i'm havin a good time, there are two cute boys in rehearsals, its fun, i'm feelin cute, talented, skinny even...and then SIGOURNE
she starts as this small red bump right about my elbow cleavage on the inside of my arm. no sweat, then, bitch gets pissed off and expands into the size of a large mountain. bright red streaks going into my armpit, swelling, itching, pain, can't bend my arm. it sucks. meanwhile i'm in rehearsal working on this striptease number for one of our shows. takin that jacket and shirt on and off really pissed her off.
so i've seen some doctors about her and got some medication and then last night while at the grocery store shopping for soda water and GIN for my BIRTHDAY at midnight, Sigourne decides she's had enough and takes over my arm. i lost feeling in my hand, my forearm swoll up real big and i decided it was time. after one of my roomates placed stones in my pockets that possessed certain energies and qualities that would help in the healing process (you can imagine my face at this point) i go to the ER. julie and seiji come with me and keep me safe.
keep in mind the swine flu has reached the uneducated so the room is full of "sick" people or "need" to see a doctor "now". anyways, i'm in jeb form and i'm flirtin and talkin to the black girls and having a good time. "mr. maddux, why are you here tonight?" "Oh i don't know, could be this massive amazonian jungle bump on my arm thats oozing out all over the place."
so they take me back and i'm waitin for the doctor to come cut me open, hot nurse number one walks by and smiles at me and i say, "you could get it" and then hot nurse who later dresses my wounds walks by and i say "yesssss". OH, while i'm waiting a cop comes by escorting an old woman in a nightgown, handcuffed, and cussing. this night was turning out to be BRILLIANT.....which is funny cause i'm dancing on a ship called the BRILILANCE. i die. anyways, doctor comes in, cuts open sigourne sticks forceps into her and opens her up and starts pullin my baby out. it was amazing, blood everywhere, puss, sigourne...its as close to giving birth as i'm gonna get, only i didn't get to keep the baby.
the doc packs my hole, wraps me up and gives me some pain pills. PRAISE HIM
so i come home, grab a birthday gin and tonic and go over to my girls apartment for a cast dinner i was late too, then went to an underwear party being thrown by another cast and get a birthday kiss from a really cute boy that ended up with somebody else that night. but thats ok, my night wasn't about boys or my birthday, it was about the birth of my first child, on may 9, 2009, Sigourne
so i'm in hollywood, florida for rehearsals. i'm havin a good time, there are two cute boys in rehearsals, its fun, i'm feelin cute, talented, skinny even...and then SIGOURNE
she starts as this small red bump right about my elbow cleavage on the inside of my arm. no sweat, then, bitch gets pissed off and expands into the size of a large mountain. bright red streaks going into my armpit, swelling, itching, pain, can't bend my arm. it sucks. meanwhile i'm in rehearsal working on this striptease number for one of our shows. takin that jacket and shirt on and off really pissed her off.
so i've seen some doctors about her and got some medication and then last night while at the grocery store shopping for soda water and GIN for my BIRTHDAY at midnight, Sigourne decides she's had enough and takes over my arm. i lost feeling in my hand, my forearm swoll up real big and i decided it was time. after one of my roomates placed stones in my pockets that possessed certain energies and qualities that would help in the healing process (you can imagine my face at this point) i go to the ER. julie and seiji come with me and keep me safe.
keep in mind the swine flu has reached the uneducated so the room is full of "sick" people or "need" to see a doctor "now". anyways, i'm in jeb form and i'm flirtin and talkin to the black girls and having a good time. "mr. maddux, why are you here tonight?" "Oh i don't know, could be this massive amazonian jungle bump on my arm thats oozing out all over the place."
so they take me back and i'm waitin for the doctor to come cut me open, hot nurse number one walks by and smiles at me and i say, "you could get it" and then hot nurse who later dresses my wounds walks by and i say "yesssss". OH, while i'm waiting a cop comes by escorting an old woman in a nightgown, handcuffed, and cussing. this night was turning out to be BRILLIANT.....which is funny cause i'm dancing on a ship called the BRILILANCE. i die. anyways, doctor comes in, cuts open sigourne sticks forceps into her and opens her up and starts pullin my baby out. it was amazing, blood everywhere, puss, sigourne...its as close to giving birth as i'm gonna get, only i didn't get to keep the baby.
the doc packs my hole, wraps me up and gives me some pain pills. PRAISE HIM
so i come home, grab a birthday gin and tonic and go over to my girls apartment for a cast dinner i was late too, then went to an underwear party being thrown by another cast and get a birthday kiss from a really cute boy that ended up with somebody else that night. but thats ok, my night wasn't about boys or my birthday, it was about the birth of my first child, on may 9, 2009, Sigourne
5.02.2009
buckle up
oh yeah, the posts are coming....
in the meantime, look how pretty my mom and dad made me. oh and jesus helped a little...so did Dr. John Gerloff my othodontist. yeah, he helped a lot...oh shoot, and Billy Bustamante photographer to the stars....and fudge hair putty...and you can't see it but Tony the Trainer has started workin his magic. get ready for those later this summer
damn, its definitely not a one man show like i thought all these years
4.28.2009
3.31.2008
sigh
this blog, along with some of my soul.....has died. sorry. nothing happens anymore worth talking about. the end. adios. peace out
3.17.2008
new feature
i've decided to add some cast quotes from throughout the contract on this little blog so you can get an idea of what people are like. honestly i've had the most but i think its because people are intimidated in making the quote book and i just own it. here are a few
everytime something happens we don't like we all yell "BOOOOO" and throw a shoe at whatever it is
i was commenting on how all these dancer boys at royal are little and sway back..."appearently sway back is the new pink"
last night in flying rehearsal we were told to be completely engaged with your bodies and kim goes "i'm so engaged i've been mairried twice'
and there are more i'm gonna start attatching them to the end of my posts. enjoy bitches
everytime something happens we don't like we all yell "BOOOOO" and throw a shoe at whatever it is
i was commenting on how all these dancer boys at royal are little and sway back..."appearently sway back is the new pink"
last night in flying rehearsal we were told to be completely engaged with your bodies and kim goes "i'm so engaged i've been mairried twice'
and there are more i'm gonna start attatching them to the end of my posts. enjoy bitches
omg my hands
Saturday/Sunday
Well holy hell. This ship is f-ing huge. They say its not much bigger than the class of ship below this one but I’ve never seen it so I think this is huge. Its literally like a city street down the middle of our ship. Restaurants, shops, clubs, boutiques, cars, statues, apartment windows overlooking the street, granite and marble floors, art galleries. Its nuts. You see somebody new every minute and never the same person twice. There are about 5000 people on board this cruise alone. My jaw is still dropped and I got on board yesterday. I want everybody in my life to experience this floating city they call the liberty of the seas.
We started rehearsals last night at midnight and those were just fun. We got fitted for harnesses so that we can fly with ease. I went right up and felt at home….and a little like peter pan. Not gonna lie. But yeah, its amazing in the air, I’ve always wanted to ability to fly and now I’m going to get to do it and get paid for it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
In the meantime, we’re shacked up in passenger cabins. I’m on deck 9 of 14 or so sharing a room with our boy3 nick. Mom dad, you’ll like this. We have complete passenger and crew status for the next 2-3 weeks. That means we can wear whatever we want and go and do whatever we want. We don’t have to pay for anything and can just live the life. Only downside is that we usually sleep from about noon to 8pm….if not a little later. Rehearsals start at midnight and go till around 9-10 am. So basically my day has flipped.
Tomorrow I am in san juan and I hear its really pretty so maybe I’ll go out in port before I go to bed at noon.
That’s about all right now, the cast is great and we collectively can’t stand 3 people……karlee the aussie and the 19year old, Thomas our boy2 that I knew in okc and didn’t really care for him there, and then the 38 year old boy1 drake. I’m not really sure if I’ve touched on them before but one is just irresponsible, young, and careless with a lot of selfishness, the other is bitchy and whiny for no reason and doesn’t handle power well, and the last is just a complete waste of a human and a big booming voice. He can’t mimic sounds (which is kinda important when you sing) doesn’t understand the notes he is given, and has already been slapped with a sexual harassment claim. Basically we don’t have time for any of them. However, I will try to make some time because they appear to be the only new source of drama and this blog is B-O-R-I-N-G right now.
Monday morning……
Keep in mind its 8am right now and I’m about to go to bed. “today” at rehearsal I pretty much did everthing in the world. We did hand loops, liras(hoops), cargo nets, trampolines, bungee chords, 2 point harness, and I’m sure something else. My hands are blistered and red , my wrists are tender, and my hips and groin are killin. But you know what else is killin me….this little bitch Paul from Australia. He is such a backseat driver baby little prick it drives me wild. He pouts and cries if he doesn’t get something right away and then pouts some more when he gets injured. But all the while is the first to correct somebody or tell them what to do or bitch about 3 remaining water bottles. I really don’t have the energy right now to explain myself but just know I’ve invisioned myself kicking him in his teeth and then tying him up to the cargo net and hurling myself at him repeated until the ropes sever his body into small squares. I’m done y’all.
Back to rehearsal though, my favorite apparatus’ we used were the hand loops, bungee, and cargo net. The hand loops are where you just hang from your wrist and go in circles….i felt like mary poppins or somebody in the Celine Dion show. The cargo net was fun cause we were flipping through it, onto it and around it, climbing it and jumping onto it with a trampoline. The bungee’s however have a slightly different story. I loved them cause I could do back flips and all kinds of stuff but I kinda didn’t like it because I weigh so much. Some comment was made like they’d have add an extra bungee to mine if I did it cause I kept hitting the floor. I couldn’t even do it full out cause I’d smack the floor. Lots of people laughed but mainly cause it was me, the fat kid, and of course I had to have adjustments. The best part was maybe when they initially lifted me up into the air and I didn’t leave the stage cause my weight kept me down. I felt so thin and pretty at that moment…..sigh. but yeah, once I got up and was flipping my bungee started to spin so I stopped, dropped my arms to my side and our rigger came over and grabbed my ankles to stop me. Well, that stopped my lower half but my upper half was still spinning so my arms went out and I ended up slapping him in the face on accident. He was kinda shocked and said this guy just slapped me. I said “and that was for the bungee comment.” Thus ending my rehearsal for the day. Goodnight.
Well holy hell. This ship is f-ing huge. They say its not much bigger than the class of ship below this one but I’ve never seen it so I think this is huge. Its literally like a city street down the middle of our ship. Restaurants, shops, clubs, boutiques, cars, statues, apartment windows overlooking the street, granite and marble floors, art galleries. Its nuts. You see somebody new every minute and never the same person twice. There are about 5000 people on board this cruise alone. My jaw is still dropped and I got on board yesterday. I want everybody in my life to experience this floating city they call the liberty of the seas.
We started rehearsals last night at midnight and those were just fun. We got fitted for harnesses so that we can fly with ease. I went right up and felt at home….and a little like peter pan. Not gonna lie. But yeah, its amazing in the air, I’ve always wanted to ability to fly and now I’m going to get to do it and get paid for it. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
In the meantime, we’re shacked up in passenger cabins. I’m on deck 9 of 14 or so sharing a room with our boy3 nick. Mom dad, you’ll like this. We have complete passenger and crew status for the next 2-3 weeks. That means we can wear whatever we want and go and do whatever we want. We don’t have to pay for anything and can just live the life. Only downside is that we usually sleep from about noon to 8pm….if not a little later. Rehearsals start at midnight and go till around 9-10 am. So basically my day has flipped.
Tomorrow I am in san juan and I hear its really pretty so maybe I’ll go out in port before I go to bed at noon.
That’s about all right now, the cast is great and we collectively can’t stand 3 people……karlee the aussie and the 19year old, Thomas our boy2 that I knew in okc and didn’t really care for him there, and then the 38 year old boy1 drake. I’m not really sure if I’ve touched on them before but one is just irresponsible, young, and careless with a lot of selfishness, the other is bitchy and whiny for no reason and doesn’t handle power well, and the last is just a complete waste of a human and a big booming voice. He can’t mimic sounds (which is kinda important when you sing) doesn’t understand the notes he is given, and has already been slapped with a sexual harassment claim. Basically we don’t have time for any of them. However, I will try to make some time because they appear to be the only new source of drama and this blog is B-O-R-I-N-G right now.
Monday morning……
Keep in mind its 8am right now and I’m about to go to bed. “today” at rehearsal I pretty much did everthing in the world. We did hand loops, liras(hoops), cargo nets, trampolines, bungee chords, 2 point harness, and I’m sure something else. My hands are blistered and red , my wrists are tender, and my hips and groin are killin. But you know what else is killin me….this little bitch Paul from Australia. He is such a backseat driver baby little prick it drives me wild. He pouts and cries if he doesn’t get something right away and then pouts some more when he gets injured. But all the while is the first to correct somebody or tell them what to do or bitch about 3 remaining water bottles. I really don’t have the energy right now to explain myself but just know I’ve invisioned myself kicking him in his teeth and then tying him up to the cargo net and hurling myself at him repeated until the ropes sever his body into small squares. I’m done y’all.
Back to rehearsal though, my favorite apparatus’ we used were the hand loops, bungee, and cargo net. The hand loops are where you just hang from your wrist and go in circles….i felt like mary poppins or somebody in the Celine Dion show. The cargo net was fun cause we were flipping through it, onto it and around it, climbing it and jumping onto it with a trampoline. The bungee’s however have a slightly different story. I loved them cause I could do back flips and all kinds of stuff but I kinda didn’t like it because I weigh so much. Some comment was made like they’d have add an extra bungee to mine if I did it cause I kept hitting the floor. I couldn’t even do it full out cause I’d smack the floor. Lots of people laughed but mainly cause it was me, the fat kid, and of course I had to have adjustments. The best part was maybe when they initially lifted me up into the air and I didn’t leave the stage cause my weight kept me down. I felt so thin and pretty at that moment…..sigh. but yeah, once I got up and was flipping my bungee started to spin so I stopped, dropped my arms to my side and our rigger came over and grabbed my ankles to stop me. Well, that stopped my lower half but my upper half was still spinning so my arms went out and I ended up slapping him in the face on accident. He was kinda shocked and said this guy just slapped me. I said “and that was for the bungee comment.” Thus ending my rehearsal for the day. Goodnight.
3.13.2008
Last Day
i have no idea where we last left each other but today is the day of my office run .that means that all the office people and all the other casts come into the big rehearsal studio, sit in the bleachers, and watch us perform one of our shows. today we are doing Ever After...our fairy tale show. its gonna be really exciting. we have about 50 travel agents coming to watch about about 4 casts coming as well. i wish i did more dancing in this show but i do get to shake my ass and act a damn fool for 50 minutes so i guess thats ok.
other than that i don't have anything to do. tomorrow is a day off and then saturday we board the ship.
i'm getting pretty good at climbing the ropes and my upper body is getting kinda strong. i put in for the Freedom ship with patrick yesterday and he said he'll put me on the list. that doesn't mean i'm in but hopefully i'll get it. its the sister ship to the one i'm on now and about 5 of my friends are going to be on it. rehearsals start in december so i'll pretty much have 2 months off before working again. 4 months last time was too long. but hopefully after the Freedom i'll have enough money, in my opinion, to move comfortably and support my dreams. haha. AND, if i don't get the freedom, oh well, i'll still have money to move and start up my life. basically its a back up insurance kinda thing just to make sure i'm not homeless in a year. anyways, thats all for now
the end
other than that i don't have anything to do. tomorrow is a day off and then saturday we board the ship.
i'm getting pretty good at climbing the ropes and my upper body is getting kinda strong. i put in for the Freedom ship with patrick yesterday and he said he'll put me on the list. that doesn't mean i'm in but hopefully i'll get it. its the sister ship to the one i'm on now and about 5 of my friends are going to be on it. rehearsals start in december so i'll pretty much have 2 months off before working again. 4 months last time was too long. but hopefully after the Freedom i'll have enough money, in my opinion, to move comfortably and support my dreams. haha. AND, if i don't get the freedom, oh well, i'll still have money to move and start up my life. basically its a back up insurance kinda thing just to make sure i'm not homeless in a year. anyways, thats all for now
the end
3.09.2008
it should be "when cows fly"
ok. so its been some minutes since we've last talked. here's an update....
i'm a penguin in our flying show, all the boys are, but i get to wear a fat suit...that makes two so far...and slide around on the ice. its actually really fun. we've finished all our shows minus the flying elements so now, for the last week here, we will just run our shows over and over and over again.
we had conditioning training yesterday with this guy jeremy who does a lot of the choreo for royal. i've heard some real bad stories about him but he was cool. only had one comment that got to me. so he's watching us all do push ups and then says "thank god i've got skinny boys this time. there's nothing worse than a heffer in the air. you can't do anything with them, or fit them in the costumes." so basically it was a compliment to us all but my WHOLE cast looked over to me when he started saying it. i felt like i had to do something so i just said "at least i can dance good" but yeah, now i'm really strong and can climb a rope. i'm turning into the monkey i've always wanted to be. yessssssssssssss
other than that though there hasn't been any real drama or nothing. i'm having to say goodbye to some really cool people later this week and thats really gonna suck. thats them up there in the picture. alisa and blake and there are a few others but i don't have pictures with them yet. had a nice little chat with blake last night about everything and luckily we see eye to eye. timing and this career is a real big bitch. hopefully one day i'll be able to be with the one person i really want to be with. but i guess this time can be spent on perfecting my career and taking care of my shit so that when i do get to settle down everything will be laid out for me. make sense? not really? sorry
yeah, thats all. think i'm gonna go see a movie tonight. and i hate money. the end
3.05.2008
just a day, just an ordinary day
i had a really bad run through today. oh well. now i'm outside getting eaten alive by mosquitos. my life is so glamorous. yeah, more of the same stuff at rehearsals. doing a lot of stuff i've never done before and trying not to get mad at myself for not getting it right away. but i'm doing ok. the end.
3.04.2008
what time is it???
here's where i am right now. boy dancer kai openly admitted today that he would rather be in the audience than dancing he thinks. let me tell you how much time i have for that. meanwhile i'm sweating my FAT ass off watching what i eat and he marks all day, never sweats and eats whatever fast food pizza shit that he wants. the last thing i really wanna see while i'm dancing and messing up and sweating and cramping is him over there in his ballcap and tennis shoes marking laughing and not knowing the choreography. luckily or teacher today laid into him but he didn't get it. oh well, at least its been said.
something else i don't have time for is karlee right now. she's 19 and has recently sprained her ankle. what part of icing and staying off of it don't we get missy. she got drunk one night, went out dancing and hurt it more. now she can't point it or dance and is really frustrated. however, she refuses to ice it and stay off it. i have no tolerance for that.
now that the negative shit is out of the way rehearsals have been really fun. we're learning stuff for our flying show so we've been practicing on the ice sheets and sliding and turning and doing a lot of "feel good" dancing. its been nice to go in and turn and dance and breathe and relax while i dance instead of trying to execute the crack enduced choreo that is the rest of our shows.
what else, still no sign of my lost clothes and that bothers me. personal life is going well. its been really nice hanging out with blake and a few other people from other casts cause its a chance to get away. and i just made dinner for myself and it was damn damn good.
p.s. i have my whole cast addicted to franks and ranch seasoning on my popcorn. get into it if you haven't already
something else i don't have time for is karlee right now. she's 19 and has recently sprained her ankle. what part of icing and staying off of it don't we get missy. she got drunk one night, went out dancing and hurt it more. now she can't point it or dance and is really frustrated. however, she refuses to ice it and stay off it. i have no tolerance for that.
now that the negative shit is out of the way rehearsals have been really fun. we're learning stuff for our flying show so we've been practicing on the ice sheets and sliding and turning and doing a lot of "feel good" dancing. its been nice to go in and turn and dance and breathe and relax while i dance instead of trying to execute the crack enduced choreo that is the rest of our shows.
what else, still no sign of my lost clothes and that bothers me. personal life is going well. its been really nice hanging out with blake and a few other people from other casts cause its a chance to get away. and i just made dinner for myself and it was damn damn good.
p.s. i have my whole cast addicted to franks and ranch seasoning on my popcorn. get into it if you haven't already
3.02.2008
day off, by the pool
sup y'all. so my life has taken a new interesting turn but its not really about my life but how my life is effecting others, mainly my friends. and i think things done out of spite hurt way more people that it helps. thats all i really wanna say about it. just a teaser
so today, sunday, is my day off. i have laid out by the pool all day and tonight i'm going to dinner and then to see a movie. talk about a perfect day off. oh but first let me tell you about our lead singer who showed up to the pool today in a cheetah print thong. this man is from alabama, thinks he's elvis, and is 38 years old. has buzzed hair and curls just on the front of his head. its real bad. anyways, we're all laying out relaxing and he shows up, drops trou, and flashes his lily white cheetah thonged ass to the world. i seriously threw up dinner from last week. ew
tomorrow for rehearsal we're going to start learning elements of our flying show. we're gonna start using "glice." its this really slippery plastic that simulates ice. you can ice skate on it too. anyways, we're gonna go sliding around on that tomorrow so i'm really excited about that. thats all.
i'm just enjoying the sun and thinking about my friends. miss you all so much. its not the same without you around.
oh, and i have weigh-ins tomorrow. praise jesus
so today, sunday, is my day off. i have laid out by the pool all day and tonight i'm going to dinner and then to see a movie. talk about a perfect day off. oh but first let me tell you about our lead singer who showed up to the pool today in a cheetah print thong. this man is from alabama, thinks he's elvis, and is 38 years old. has buzzed hair and curls just on the front of his head. its real bad. anyways, we're all laying out relaxing and he shows up, drops trou, and flashes his lily white cheetah thonged ass to the world. i seriously threw up dinner from last week. ew
tomorrow for rehearsal we're going to start learning elements of our flying show. we're gonna start using "glice." its this really slippery plastic that simulates ice. you can ice skate on it too. anyways, we're gonna go sliding around on that tomorrow so i'm really excited about that. thats all.
i'm just enjoying the sun and thinking about my friends. miss you all so much. its not the same without you around.
oh, and i have weigh-ins tomorrow. praise jesus
2.29.2008
no good deed goes unpunished
so i'm really tired, i had the worst dancing day of my entire life, i wore about 5 layers of white and horizontal stripes (not really sure what i was thinking this morning whilst i dressed myself, i was retaining water and as Janet says "i was heavy like a first day period," and patrick the casting guy was watching us rehearse all day long. so basically it was the worst day of my entire life. but not really, i mean, my problems are pretty petty specially when people over in africa and the middle east are dying every second. but i'm not there right now, i'm in hollywood florida trying to do my thing.
i had a really great talk last night with a new friend that kinda put everything back into perspective. we were both having similar days and just kinda helped eachother out so it made handling today much much easier. i eventually just accepted that i was the worst dancer in the world today and the second i left the studios i bought myself a diet dr. perpper and turned that frown upside down. also, the thought of chili's later tonight helped JUST A BIT.
anyways, no real news. maybe today was bad so that others could have a good day. maybe i was just doing my good deed for the day. haha
but on a serious note, i FINALLY got the new kylie cd. life is good again. now i can refocus my energies on dancing properly and saving the kids in africa. pshew
i had a really great talk last night with a new friend that kinda put everything back into perspective. we were both having similar days and just kinda helped eachother out so it made handling today much much easier. i eventually just accepted that i was the worst dancer in the world today and the second i left the studios i bought myself a diet dr. perpper and turned that frown upside down. also, the thought of chili's later tonight helped JUST A BIT.
anyways, no real news. maybe today was bad so that others could have a good day. maybe i was just doing my good deed for the day. haha
but on a serious note, i FINALLY got the new kylie cd. life is good again. now i can refocus my energies on dancing properly and saving the kids in africa. pshew
2.28.2008
still a little rusty at this
alright. so......we sat through a run today of another ships show. thank god i have training. it was sad watchin these boys dance. they had no life, no passion, no pointed feet. it hurt. but there were two girls that killed it and they made me smile. i always feel so bad when i talk about other dancers like that but honestly, what was casting thinking. sickled feet, raised shoulders, moving hands while partnering....its just not safe....or pretty. whatever, you don't care about this.
today in rehearsal my girl Karlee, from australia, the future hip hop dancer of the world rolled her ankle. they might be sending her home. that would make 2 people in 2 days. its all kinda frustrating. i'm actually really not happy in rehearsals cause i'm not dancing. i don't dance at all. its just run around and pose and act a fool. don't get me wrong, i'll act like a fool till the cows come home but at the end of the day i want to dance. i want to kick and turn and reach and drag and LIVE. but we don't always get what we want so i'm gonna have to get over it.
another problem i'm having is that i'm letting my personal life get in the way of my rehearsals. i'm not gonna go into detail but its all just a bit fucked right now and i don't know which way i should go with things. just kinda having one of those, "what is my life" right now cycles. you know? no like break down and have a bad day, just mind wanders off and i get lost in thoughts.
lets see what else, i got nothin. OH. we had a going away party for liz last night, even though i think its a little wrong to celebrate someone being sent home. and it was fun. we threw things at pictures of casting directors and had lots and lots of cookies. i left and went to bed. the end
today in rehearsal my girl Karlee, from australia, the future hip hop dancer of the world rolled her ankle. they might be sending her home. that would make 2 people in 2 days. its all kinda frustrating. i'm actually really not happy in rehearsals cause i'm not dancing. i don't dance at all. its just run around and pose and act a fool. don't get me wrong, i'll act like a fool till the cows come home but at the end of the day i want to dance. i want to kick and turn and reach and drag and LIVE. but we don't always get what we want so i'm gonna have to get over it.
another problem i'm having is that i'm letting my personal life get in the way of my rehearsals. i'm not gonna go into detail but its all just a bit fucked right now and i don't know which way i should go with things. just kinda having one of those, "what is my life" right now cycles. you know? no like break down and have a bad day, just mind wanders off and i get lost in thoughts.
lets see what else, i got nothin. OH. we had a going away party for liz last night, even though i think its a little wrong to celebrate someone being sent home. and it was fun. we threw things at pictures of casting directors and had lots and lots of cookies. i left and went to bed. the end
2.27.2008
finally i'm back. i hope you're still here
omg, i bet nobody reads this anymore. i haven't had a computer for months and i really don't wanna talk about it
in fact i'm not really sure what i want to talk about. i think i may just start typing and expect you all to just know what i'm talking about. sure i could tell you about my first few weeks here, all about my cast, the philipeano lady at the doctors office who made me bend over during my physical, spread my ass open with her finger and thumb and goes "welp, all clean." sure i could talk about stuff like that but we're all here for the drama. for the shit talking and dirty underside of my rehearsal process.
sadly, nobody irritates me yet. haha. maybe i've changed for the better. maybe i just don't care enough about some of them to really get worked up about it. all i'm gonna say is that my body is changing, my skills are improving, my closet has less clothes in it cause a package containing THEM and a computer went missing.....so that makes both contracts that i'm had clothes taken from me. awesome. um, yeah, so from now on i will just be talking about expect you to just know. i'll give some background but don't expect bios.
today in rehearsal i got introuble for slapping my foot during a battement. for you non dancers i was kickin my face and slapped my foot thus looking fierce but making a loud sound. sad part is i didn't even realize i was doing it. oh well, when you's fierce you's fierce. haha. um, yeah.
so i'm at some deli checkin my emails with a friend so i'm gonna go. i'll talk to you soon. get ready. OH, here's what i'll do, i'll paste and email i just sent to my last cast. enjoy
...
ok ok ok. lets get into this....
so i haven't had a computer for, well, since november. i just bought a mac so i'm cool like jeff and all my clothes got stolen from the post office as they were being sent to me from home. thats all i'm gonna say about that.
rehearsals are as follows....FIERCE. i was made for this company. fuck that siletto bullshit. yes i have an attitude and yes i wear my emotions on my face but so help me god if you judge me for it. haha. just kidding. i just fit in better with the people here i think. even though this patrick guy at casting is workin my last damn nerve. I GET IT, I'M BIG. maybe if you wouldn't have cast me with boys that literally weigh 125 pounds there wouldn't be an issue. i'll get into that in a minute. but yeah, the dancing is hard and tricky and i get to shake my shit. i come up on the pit crumping as tweedle dee. or tweedle diva as my choreographer calls me. here's a funny story...the guy beside me in one dance asked if i would tone it down so that he would look better. i'll let you imagine my reaction to that. here's a hint, i turned a double pirouette into 6 and stopped on releve and just looked at him...during a run. such a cunt.
um so you remember how mash would always call me stupid whenever i would open my mouth....well with this cast it has escalated to, "i'm gonna kill you." i'm the one in the cast that calls everybody out. but not in a malicious way at all, just a really funny cunty way. you know what i'm saying? ew, i sound really full of myself. i think its cause i did a back extention roll for the first time the other day and now i think i'm the best dancer in the world. up so yeah, we've learned both our shows and we'll learn our flying show on the ship in a few weeks. lets talk about my cast.
i'm not going to sit here and list all 18 people cause i don't have the patience for that but i'll hit the highlights. well, maybe i will.
SINGERS - drake, thomas, nick, andrea, hannah, and erin. fierce fierce fierce. except for drake, he's 38, akward as all fuck and we've already slapped him with a sexual harassment case. douche.
DANCERS - Karen, Kim, Karlee, Kyle, Kai, Curtiss, Liz, Elisa, Franchesca, Laura, and Paul. liz just got sent home today for an injury but she was lazy anyways. everybody is real cool and real relaxed. we're all bitter and sarcastic but real laid back. its nice. nobody well be my deepest dearest friends like you guys are but its a good time. karlee and paul are from australia and i have now seen EVERY kylie minogue dvd, cd, concert, and anything else. i'm in heaven. liz was from belgium. hannah from london. kai is from hawaii, and franchesca and laura are from italy. crazy world huh. kyle is from point park and me and curtiss are both from dallas and both from ocu. SO SUCK ON THAT. all the boys are crazy flexible, like jess beck flexible and can kick their janelle like forheads. i may not be bendy but i'll be damn if they're gonna out dance this piece of work. holler. anyways. the boys range from 5'5 - 5'8 and about 120-140 pounds. i come in at a comfortable 5'10 and 195. life is good. i wear a fat suit for the fairytale show and when i'm a dwarf my shirt says Heavy D. also, they just call me boyFloor instead of Boy4 because i'm always running across stage and sliding around like a beached f-ing whale. WHY GOD. WHY.
OH, i bought a pair of victoria secret sweats the other week and wear them all the time. i called nitty right away. they are green and have baby blue PINK on the but. i love them.
what else, um, i miss you all so much and i talk about you all the time. we had a tacky day and i orchestrated it and i brought my harmonica with me and play songs for people all the time. and everytime curtiss and kyle make out or kiss i fucking blow my harmonica. its wonderful. stissy, we need to meet up and have sweet duets, jeff, you can come too. OH and my cast calls me Mia cause they said i'm a dykey blonde lesbian like mia michaels and they say i dance like her. i say thanks.
i'll write more when i'm more ogranized and find out what my life really is right now. i love you all so much. its not even funny. mash, you have not been replaced cause i can't talk about black people around curtiss. its not as fun. sigh.
love you,
Jeb
p.s. i'm really drunk
p.s.s. i really like you and this joke will never get old to me.
p.s.s.s. peter, i left all the grammar for you. enjoy hooker
in fact i'm not really sure what i want to talk about. i think i may just start typing and expect you all to just know what i'm talking about. sure i could tell you about my first few weeks here, all about my cast, the philipeano lady at the doctors office who made me bend over during my physical, spread my ass open with her finger and thumb and goes "welp, all clean." sure i could talk about stuff like that but we're all here for the drama. for the shit talking and dirty underside of my rehearsal process.
sadly, nobody irritates me yet. haha. maybe i've changed for the better. maybe i just don't care enough about some of them to really get worked up about it. all i'm gonna say is that my body is changing, my skills are improving, my closet has less clothes in it cause a package containing THEM and a computer went missing.....so that makes both contracts that i'm had clothes taken from me. awesome. um, yeah, so from now on i will just be talking about expect you to just know. i'll give some background but don't expect bios.
today in rehearsal i got introuble for slapping my foot during a battement. for you non dancers i was kickin my face and slapped my foot thus looking fierce but making a loud sound. sad part is i didn't even realize i was doing it. oh well, when you's fierce you's fierce. haha. um, yeah.
so i'm at some deli checkin my emails with a friend so i'm gonna go. i'll talk to you soon. get ready. OH, here's what i'll do, i'll paste and email i just sent to my last cast. enjoy
...
ok ok ok. lets get into this....
so i haven't had a computer for, well, since november. i just bought a mac so i'm cool like jeff and all my clothes got stolen from the post office as they were being sent to me from home. thats all i'm gonna say about that.
rehearsals are as follows....FIERCE. i was made for this company. fuck that siletto bullshit. yes i have an attitude and yes i wear my emotions on my face but so help me god if you judge me for it. haha. just kidding. i just fit in better with the people here i think. even though this patrick guy at casting is workin my last damn nerve. I GET IT, I'M BIG. maybe if you wouldn't have cast me with boys that literally weigh 125 pounds there wouldn't be an issue. i'll get into that in a minute. but yeah, the dancing is hard and tricky and i get to shake my shit. i come up on the pit crumping as tweedle dee. or tweedle diva as my choreographer calls me. here's a funny story...the guy beside me in one dance asked if i would tone it down so that he would look better. i'll let you imagine my reaction to that. here's a hint, i turned a double pirouette into 6 and stopped on releve and just looked at him...during a run. such a cunt.
um so you remember how mash would always call me stupid whenever i would open my mouth....well with this cast it has escalated to, "i'm gonna kill you." i'm the one in the cast that calls everybody out. but not in a malicious way at all, just a really funny cunty way. you know what i'm saying? ew, i sound really full of myself. i think its cause i did a back extention roll for the first time the other day and now i think i'm the best dancer in the world. up so yeah, we've learned both our shows and we'll learn our flying show on the ship in a few weeks. lets talk about my cast.
i'm not going to sit here and list all 18 people cause i don't have the patience for that but i'll hit the highlights. well, maybe i will.
SINGERS - drake, thomas, nick, andrea, hannah, and erin. fierce fierce fierce. except for drake, he's 38, akward as all fuck and we've already slapped him with a sexual harassment case. douche.
DANCERS - Karen, Kim, Karlee, Kyle, Kai, Curtiss, Liz, Elisa, Franchesca, Laura, and Paul. liz just got sent home today for an injury but she was lazy anyways. everybody is real cool and real relaxed. we're all bitter and sarcastic but real laid back. its nice. nobody well be my deepest dearest friends like you guys are but its a good time. karlee and paul are from australia and i have now seen EVERY kylie minogue dvd, cd, concert, and anything else. i'm in heaven. liz was from belgium. hannah from london. kai is from hawaii, and franchesca and laura are from italy. crazy world huh. kyle is from point park and me and curtiss are both from dallas and both from ocu. SO SUCK ON THAT. all the boys are crazy flexible, like jess beck flexible and can kick their janelle like forheads. i may not be bendy but i'll be damn if they're gonna out dance this piece of work. holler. anyways. the boys range from 5'5 - 5'8 and about 120-140 pounds. i come in at a comfortable 5'10 and 195. life is good. i wear a fat suit for the fairytale show and when i'm a dwarf my shirt says Heavy D. also, they just call me boyFloor instead of Boy4 because i'm always running across stage and sliding around like a beached f-ing whale. WHY GOD. WHY.
OH, i bought a pair of victoria secret sweats the other week and wear them all the time. i called nitty right away. they are green and have baby blue PINK on the but. i love them.
what else, um, i miss you all so much and i talk about you all the time. we had a tacky day and i orchestrated it and i brought my harmonica with me and play songs for people all the time. and everytime curtiss and kyle make out or kiss i fucking blow my harmonica. its wonderful. stissy, we need to meet up and have sweet duets, jeff, you can come too. OH and my cast calls me Mia cause they said i'm a dykey blonde lesbian like mia michaels and they say i dance like her. i say thanks.
i'll write more when i'm more ogranized and find out what my life really is right now. i love you all so much. its not even funny. mash, you have not been replaced cause i can't talk about black people around curtiss. its not as fun. sigh.
love you,
Jeb
p.s. i'm really drunk
p.s.s. i really like you and this joke will never get old to me.
p.s.s.s. peter, i left all the grammar for you. enjoy hooker
1.28.2008
the first official blog of the new contract
so the time has come to pack my stuff and head back out to sea. lets be honest. i don't want to. but its a job and i'm dancing and even though i have to go shirtless, i will make it work. i mean, if they wanna put a big girl out there with her junk floppin in the airs then be my guest...i'll freakin paint a smiley face on my tummy and hit the stage like WHOA.
i'll be dancing with Royal Caribbean on the Liberty of the Seas cruising through the caribbean. like a pirate. i'm johnny depp. anyways, its FUCKING HUGE. thats the only real way to describe it. i'll tell you more about the shows and my cast of 18 once i get to know them. not gonna lie, not really looking forward to meeting 18 new people. although, i've been working on some introductions for myself when we have to go around and introduce myself. here are some preliminary options:
"hey y'all, my name is jeb, i'm from fort worth TEXAS, and i don't know any of you"
"hi, i'm jeb and i was looking through my bible last night and i found this passage that really says what i'm feeling...(opens bible to read)"
"hi, i'm jeb, i'm pretty good, i'm pretty overweight, and lets face it, i'm pretty pretty"
"hey y'all, i'm jeb and here's a song i wrote for you all on my harmonica...(plays a song)"
"hi, i'm jeb, three little letters, just jeb, its not short for ANYTHING"
"hey, jeb here, and chances are half of you are going to annoy the shit out of me. glad thats out of the way, whats up?"
so those are just a few things running through my mind, whadda think? holler and welcome back to this wonderful life changing blog.
as of today i weigh 202 pounds........OF LOVE
11.18.2007
hold up stop, wait a minute
i'm going to take a break. this blog will pick up again in january when i have more new people to talk about. get excited. you'll know when its back up an running. until then occupy your time online looking at porn or watching videos or shopping for things you don't need. love you
11.13.2007
HEY GIRL, now's your chance
you know what would be funny.....if i had my own dating show like Tila Tequilla or I Love New York. i'd call it HEY GIRL and it would be only hot guys and all my girls would help me pick the best one for me...or for my friend. maybe that would be the spin. i'm tryin to think of my line when i have to get rid of the douchy ones and so far it might be something like "bye gay" or something cute like that.
anyways, i just taught a dance class in okc...something i vowed never to do again but i did and all two girls showed up. haha. awesome
but the big news is that i'm going to my sisters xmas party for work and i will get to see all 3 of my readers. i hope they are not let down by my shyness in person...or taken back by my slammin body or killer good lookds.
the end
anyways, i just taught a dance class in okc...something i vowed never to do again but i did and all two girls showed up. haha. awesome
but the big news is that i'm going to my sisters xmas party for work and i will get to see all 3 of my readers. i hope they are not let down by my shyness in person...or taken back by my slammin body or killer good lookds.
the end
11.09.2007
um
i'm in okc. nothing really dramatic happens here. nothing really funny, this blog is slackin and i can't think of a moral way to kick things up a notch.
11.05.2007
an email i just sent to my cast, it explains pretty much everything
ok, first things first.....
shaunacy, my name is spelled with a UX. get on that
mashawn, i can't deal. i miss you like a brother and i think thats cause i have some black blood in me. its where i get my lumps and my jukes and jives, and maybe my thighs and me sweet rhymes.
peter, i can't formulate what i want to say to you. i have so much but can't get it out. so i'll leave you with this....sweat pants are all that fit me right now
natalie, where are you lets go be in legally blonde together. since i'm partially african american i can do the hip hop required of the boy dancers
jeff, i hope you got, recieved, and loved that beauty pageant girl playing her trumpet. i need your feedback asap
stacy, i think i'm in love with you. for real, i can't stop thinking about you and thinking of ways i can take sonic out. i hope your cast of 20's is being nice and i hope that 5 of them get pregnant. i like charlie, we have talked, he is ok in my book
kim, i talked to you recently, thank you for the update, i miss you and will talk to you soon
janelle, i still hate you and thank you for the fake ass email about how jeff and i looked at boys. IT WAS ME AND ME ALONE YOU DUMB SLUT. GO CURL YOUR FUCKED UP HAIR AND TOSS IT ABOUT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE FOREARM....and POWDER YOUR DAMN FOREHEAD
andrea - LATIN
so yeah, i'm not even gonna try to compete with shaunacy's email cause that shit was brilliant but i will give you this attempt. first off i still email jess like she'll write back. guess i'm a dumbass. awesome. i just got back from new mexico where i was put into shackles and torn cotton pants and put to work. no offense mashawn but i'm half black you see. let me just tell you how many pecans a pecan tree has...TOO FUCKIN MANY FOR ME TO PICK UP BY HAND. after i climbed the roof like romeo the monkey and then scoured the yard like romeo pickin fleas i set out to wash the windows. you see, it was too cold to do so in the morning so i had to wait all day. i had to first was the brick down, then wash the windows, then let that dry. then i had to go over the outside of the windows with a vinegar/water solution and sgueegie that off. then i had to windex, wipe off with a paper towel, then another dry paper towel and then go over the whole thing with a dry, lint free towel. for the inside of the windows i just had to do the windex steps. now, the gorrish details. there were about 20 windows to clean, thats 40 if you count the paynes, and half of them are FLOOR TO CEILING and cover large rooms, and the other half are covered by MEXICAN BARS to keep the mesicans out. talk about a bitch. anyways, i did it, spent some quality time with my granparents and my crazy ass uncle and moved on with my life.....let me just give you a few stories my uncle shared with me. he is going to cure HIV (i had so many gay jokes lined up but instead i just said a prayer and said "phew, my hiv is really startin to itch"), he then told me how that would happen using only the technical terms. he talked to me about how he needs some. how his khaki pants give him cramps cause of the chemicals used to make them. and he told me the bread is making him fat and then made me feel his stomach. now my uncle is a certified genious, for real, but you see he's gone fucking nuts. something snapped in him and then he thought he knew who killed kennedy and wears foil in his shoes and is now in his 40's divorced and lives with his 80 year old parents. i'm gonna leave that alone cause i don't think you really care.
p.s. i'm writing this like i would my blog. and for those of you who have forgotten you can find that at www.thediaryofjebfrank.blogspot.com. shameless plug but a necessary one. in fact i will be posting this email there. um so yeah back to my stories.
i think thats all. i'm spending my time between here and okc. matt is doing well and he's growing up nicely. he's still a babe and i'm still crazy for him so i guess he's doing something right. we both crush on this boy named kaleb (he's bam bam in the halloween pictures)but he's a hot whorish mess so its gonna stay that way. my friend drew is going through his slut phase of the post breakup life and i couldn't be more supportive. i'm like, SUCH a good friend. p.p.s he saw mean girls for the first time and now our friendship has a whole new level to it. um, i just cleaned out my closet....over 150 items now gone, still counting. and i have 30 pairs of shoes. it was like xmas when i got home and saw all my clothes. um yeah. my add is in overtime right now. i'm wearing a pink shirt and purple cut off sweats. i look good. i'm fat though and that needs to change. i'm thinking about taking a brick to my ribs and knocking em down a few sizes. my favorite song right now is my Ingrid Michaelson and its called Keep Breathing. i choreographed a dance to it for a class and you can find that video on my myspace page and then you can all tell me how fantastic i am. and i'm sending my contract in tomorrow. how weird is that??? and also, i don't even have to, i can just show up with it. weird. i hope they have one other dancer who's fatter than me so i don't get all the shit. and let me end with this.....why did i get so much shit for my weight when the cast that all replaced us are a bunch of slut drunk heffers. i rest my case. i love you all and have started taking anti-depressants to cope with that lose.
jeb
mash - hope the black jokes didn't make you cry, or want to gangbang driveby murder me. i've had no contact with half your people and well, i just wanted you to say "stupid" when you read this. the end
shaunacy, my name is spelled with a UX. get on that
mashawn, i can't deal. i miss you like a brother and i think thats cause i have some black blood in me. its where i get my lumps and my jukes and jives, and maybe my thighs and me sweet rhymes.
peter, i can't formulate what i want to say to you. i have so much but can't get it out. so i'll leave you with this....sweat pants are all that fit me right now
natalie, where are you lets go be in legally blonde together. since i'm partially african american i can do the hip hop required of the boy dancers
jeff, i hope you got, recieved, and loved that beauty pageant girl playing her trumpet. i need your feedback asap
stacy, i think i'm in love with you. for real, i can't stop thinking about you and thinking of ways i can take sonic out. i hope your cast of 20's is being nice and i hope that 5 of them get pregnant. i like charlie, we have talked, he is ok in my book
kim, i talked to you recently, thank you for the update, i miss you and will talk to you soon
janelle, i still hate you and thank you for the fake ass email about how jeff and i looked at boys. IT WAS ME AND ME ALONE YOU DUMB SLUT. GO CURL YOUR FUCKED UP HAIR AND TOSS IT ABOUT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE FOREARM....and POWDER YOUR DAMN FOREHEAD
andrea - LATIN
so yeah, i'm not even gonna try to compete with shaunacy's email cause that shit was brilliant but i will give you this attempt. first off i still email jess like she'll write back. guess i'm a dumbass. awesome. i just got back from new mexico where i was put into shackles and torn cotton pants and put to work. no offense mashawn but i'm half black you see. let me just tell you how many pecans a pecan tree has...TOO FUCKIN MANY FOR ME TO PICK UP BY HAND. after i climbed the roof like romeo the monkey and then scoured the yard like romeo pickin fleas i set out to wash the windows. you see, it was too cold to do so in the morning so i had to wait all day. i had to first was the brick down, then wash the windows, then let that dry. then i had to go over the outside of the windows with a vinegar/water solution and sgueegie that off. then i had to windex, wipe off with a paper towel, then another dry paper towel and then go over the whole thing with a dry, lint free towel. for the inside of the windows i just had to do the windex steps. now, the gorrish details. there were about 20 windows to clean, thats 40 if you count the paynes, and half of them are FLOOR TO CEILING and cover large rooms, and the other half are covered by MEXICAN BARS to keep the mesicans out. talk about a bitch. anyways, i did it, spent some quality time with my granparents and my crazy ass uncle and moved on with my life.....let me just give you a few stories my uncle shared with me. he is going to cure HIV (i had so many gay jokes lined up but instead i just said a prayer and said "phew, my hiv is really startin to itch"), he then told me how that would happen using only the technical terms. he talked to me about how he needs some. how his khaki pants give him cramps cause of the chemicals used to make them. and he told me the bread is making him fat and then made me feel his stomach. now my uncle is a certified genious, for real, but you see he's gone fucking nuts. something snapped in him and then he thought he knew who killed kennedy and wears foil in his shoes and is now in his 40's divorced and lives with his 80 year old parents. i'm gonna leave that alone cause i don't think you really care.
p.s. i'm writing this like i would my blog. and for those of you who have forgotten you can find that at www.thediaryofjebfrank.blogspot.com. shameless plug but a necessary one. in fact i will be posting this email there. um so yeah back to my stories.
i think thats all. i'm spending my time between here and okc. matt is doing well and he's growing up nicely. he's still a babe and i'm still crazy for him so i guess he's doing something right. we both crush on this boy named kaleb (he's bam bam in the halloween pictures)but he's a hot whorish mess so its gonna stay that way. my friend drew is going through his slut phase of the post breakup life and i couldn't be more supportive. i'm like, SUCH a good friend. p.p.s he saw mean girls for the first time and now our friendship has a whole new level to it. um, i just cleaned out my closet....over 150 items now gone, still counting. and i have 30 pairs of shoes. it was like xmas when i got home and saw all my clothes. um yeah. my add is in overtime right now. i'm wearing a pink shirt and purple cut off sweats. i look good. i'm fat though and that needs to change. i'm thinking about taking a brick to my ribs and knocking em down a few sizes. my favorite song right now is my Ingrid Michaelson and its called Keep Breathing. i choreographed a dance to it for a class and you can find that video on my myspace page and then you can all tell me how fantastic i am. and i'm sending my contract in tomorrow. how weird is that??? and also, i don't even have to, i can just show up with it. weird. i hope they have one other dancer who's fatter than me so i don't get all the shit. and let me end with this.....why did i get so much shit for my weight when the cast that all replaced us are a bunch of slut drunk heffers. i rest my case. i love you all and have started taking anti-depressants to cope with that lose.
jeb
mash - hope the black jokes didn't make you cry, or want to gangbang driveby murder me. i've had no contact with half your people and well, i just wanted you to say "stupid" when you read this. the end
hey, watch ME dance, not those other ones
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na90yWIQ2yU
there is a link of me dancing in a class i taught the other week. i'm the black chunk of flesh on your right. yes, thats is MY right leg. and lets be honest, you're here to watch me so don't watch those other boys...but they're good. i'll leave this link till i have a better video to load. bye bye
there is a link of me dancing in a class i taught the other week. i'm the black chunk of flesh on your right. yes, thats is MY right leg. and lets be honest, you're here to watch me so don't watch those other boys...but they're good. i'll leave this link till i have a better video to load. bye bye
yessa masta
ok listen. as soon as i finish my slave labor for the day i will post about my adventures in New Mexico: The Land of Enchantment....my ass. but before that i'm just going to vent.
this little blog thing of mine had intentions of world wide fame. much like myself. but i'm realizing i'm just not that interesting and nothing that amazing happens to me(however, i feel i would read better on film so thats why i'm gonna start searching for producers and get my own tv show. maybe i'll call it fat bitch. who knows) but in order to get readers or SOMETHING i'm thinkin i may have to resort to posting naked pictures of boys. that always gets a few thousand queens readin my shit. i mean, if i had a sweet 23444pack i'd just show shirtless pictures of myself but i don't and last i checked a nice little love cushion wasn't selling ticktes. anyways, if i have to resort to porn on my blog then so be it. kinda feel like my real life, if dancin doesn't work out i can always use my flexiblity on film, getting paid, bringin joy to all the lonely pathetic single gay men obessed with porn.
sorry mom, its time you face the real world. its not all about costumes and dance steps.
this little blog thing of mine had intentions of world wide fame. much like myself. but i'm realizing i'm just not that interesting and nothing that amazing happens to me(however, i feel i would read better on film so thats why i'm gonna start searching for producers and get my own tv show. maybe i'll call it fat bitch. who knows) but in order to get readers or SOMETHING i'm thinkin i may have to resort to posting naked pictures of boys. that always gets a few thousand queens readin my shit. i mean, if i had a sweet 23444pack i'd just show shirtless pictures of myself but i don't and last i checked a nice little love cushion wasn't selling ticktes. anyways, if i have to resort to porn on my blog then so be it. kinda feel like my real life, if dancin doesn't work out i can always use my flexiblity on film, getting paid, bringin joy to all the lonely pathetic single gay men obessed with porn.
sorry mom, its time you face the real world. its not all about costumes and dance steps.
10.29.2007
looking forward to tomorrow
so i just got home to texas. haven't been here since last january. i'm going to work on an entry for tomorrow of all the things i've encountered since being home. i'll leave you with a little preview......The Texas Civil War Museum on my way home.....hold your breath
10.28.2007
i've lost my sparkle
last night was a halloween party at OCU and i went cause matt goes there. i was a unicorn. i had some shiny fabric around my waist, some rainbow slippers, and i glittered a cone and put it on my forehead. i also covered my body in glitter, tied yarn in my hair to make a mane, and had ice crystals on my face. also, i was drunk but not really
matt went as a sperm donation. he dressed in all white, i made him a sperm tail, and he walked around inside a plastic cup that said sperm bank. "you do the jerk, we'll do the work"
and lizzy went as a pinata. she's mexican and fringed fabric all over herself. she won. see picture above.
we had a good night though. i hung out with the 5 people that like me and we had a grand time in the bedroom just laughing and watching matt knock things over with his cup and me with my horn. aftewards we went to taco bell. i drove with my horn outside the window and the lady at taco bell did not think our car(filled with a unicorn, a sperm, a pinata, bam bam, and a girl from the wedding singer) was very humorous. i think she gave me a lecture about being safe tonight. i think i said something about how my horn would take care of us and thank you.
i made a new friend. his name is kaleb. apparently he's a big ol mess but he's really funny and really cute. and lizzy and i talk about kaleb all day cause it makes matt mad. matt used to crush on him so i give him a hard time and always talk about that boy kaleb. but you know how you make fun of something so much you start to like it. i prolly have a crush on him now. haha. he's 18. that is trouble. and i love how mad it makes matt. but i just got told to drop the kaleb thing. i can never have any fun. he's the bam bam in the above pictures. also, allison, MY GIRL, is rainbow bright with matt
i don't feel good. i'll drive home tomorrow.
p.s. saw miss ocu last night. words can't describe slash it was the quietest miss ocu i've ever been to. some slut won. and some asian girl sang "wouldn't it be loverly" from My Fair Lady the musical. she sang about how a 6 year old would sing, and she was pigeon toed, and she smiled really really awkwardly and i think caressed the mic stand at one point. and this other girl, sharra rivera wore high waisted country jeans cause the opening number was Oklahoma....she was the only one
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