more proof that i'm the holy grail

basically I am the prince of Egypt. What do you think about that? Pretty cool. Anyways, Egypt looks like the underside of satans toilet. You know that area that collects samples of your feces right on the other side of the seat. Yeah, that’s that it looks like…except it has sand too. Alexandria and Cairo have got to be one of the ugliest places I’ve ever been. Instead of grass there was sand, sand roads, sand buildings, sand rivers, its everywhere. I realize it’s the desert and all but if you’re gonna have a couple million inhabitants I suggest you get your shit together. Trash was often what the streets are made of and you can see it being swept into the little canals in the street. Water turned to trash and it made me realize, on my three hour bus ride from Alexandria to Cairo, just how much we’re harming this planet. I know that’s deep but its all I could see. That and people. People lined the entire stretch of highway, they just looked like they were wandering around. I’m sure they weren’t but still. Its just scary at times.

Whatever

So we go to the Museum of Antiquities first. To keep with my previous descriptions this was the ugliest I’ve seen. It was like magenta. When I got inside the walls were peach. Gross. BUT all you can are rows and rows of glass and wooden cases filled to the brim with pottery, sarcophagus’, jewels, jewelry, tombs, statues, chair, etc. its as though everything the Egyptians ever made was in this museum. My favorite part wasn’t King Tuts room with his solid gold sarcophagus and his jewels and his golden mask, wasn’t the massive pictures of the discovered tombs and their artifacts in cases in front of them, but it was the colossus statue of a king and queen. The look like the ones that were built into the wall from my history books. I just stood at the base of them and looked up, they were a couple stories high. It was so insane. I only had about 5 minutes free time and I spent it staring up into the eyes of some old Egyptian king and queen. What sucks is we only saw about 1/3 of the museum due to time restraints on my tour so we had to run but I def. want to go back and visit on my own time.

Next stop was the pyramids. We saw the 3 great pyramids of Giza while the crew tour got to see all 9. but whatever, I didn’t have to pay 100 dollars to see it, I got to see em for free. SUCK ON THAT. But yeah, after being molested by the local camel jockeys for pictures and dollars and taking my picture with the pyramids and sitting on a camel, I decided I needed to go inside the 2nd pyramid. It’s the one with the capstone still on top. Many people think that this is the biggest but it is not. Its built on higher land than the other and even with its extra layer of limestone its still shorter than the one next to it. LOSER. Anyways, we crawled inside the pyramid(my chest was on my legs I was crouched over so far) walked down and then back up and into the giant open room containing the tomb of that pyramids king. The air was about 200% humidity and smelled of feet because of all the foreigners but it was still really cool. Came back out, took more pictures, got molested again and then went to go see the sphinx. Its actually a little larger than I thought it would be. Everybody says its so small but it’s a pretty good size. You can only go around it and the KFC/PizzaHut across the street kinda took the magnificent-ness away from it. Oh and the pigeons sitting on its face. But still, it was cool.

Our last stop was to a bazaar and lunch at some fancy hotel. It was coo, I got my name on a kartush and now have a necklace in Egyptian. Hot. But yeah, came home and went to bed. p.s. my groups tour guide was named Moses. he had some good jokes about leading his people from egypt. i laughed

Here are some things I learned as my day went on:
1. people smell
2. there were 7 cleopatras and the 7th is the one we all talk about
3. the sphinx was carved out of the side of the hill its on. I thought it was built.
4. I saw where the lighthouse in Alexandria was, now it’s a fort. (I saw two world wonders in 1 day)
5. Egypt is divided into 26 governments. Kinda like states
6. Egyptians don’t acknowledge the laws of dring and drive wherever they want at whatever speed. Nor do they drive in a straight line
7. I look good in pink but I already kinda knew that
8. Egyptians are either the ugliest people in the world or the prettiest. There is no inbetween. The pretty ones looked like gods, I’m not even kidding
9. I wish I knew more about the timing of all the kingdoms cause it was really confusing all day
10. all of the kings that united Egypt over the years came from the south.