and then i was like, "what haaaaaappend"

I went cliff jumping/diving today into the Adriatic sea, specifically in the most beautiful place in the word…Dubrovnik, Croatia. BUT FIRST I’m gonna talk about the dead body that was carted out in front of us before getting off the ship.

So we’re standing in line at the paymaster waiting to get bus tickets to head into town, just mindin our business’ until the nurses, doctors, security, and housekeeper come down the hallway pushing a gurney with a dead man on it wrapped in plastic and a cloth. Basically somebody died on the ship today and they were taking him to the freezer. It was weird, a great way to start a day that involves jumping off a cliff.

So we take a bus to town and let me tell you how gorgeous this place is. OH WAIT, I can’t. I didn’t pay enough attention in class to know words to use to describe how gorgeous this was. The buildings are white with red tile roofs, the water is the most gorgeous shade of transparent/lucent blue I’ve ever seen, and the streets are marble. That’s right folks, marble. This place is breathtaking. They call in the jewel of the Adriatic and the most underrated place in the med. We get to old town and walk around trying to find the “bar with a view” where you can jump off into the ocean. Its this little stand tucked into the side of the cliff/city wall and you literally crawl over the safety railing, shimmy your war across some rocks, walk out and jump off. The first jump was about 50 feet, the higher one was about, I’d say 75 feet. Lets say about 3-5 mississippi’s of hang time once you jumped. Its weird up there though cause you can see the ocean floor, like 40 feet down there, you can see the fishies in the water and your mind is saying “lets go, lets rock this”, but then your body is saying “fuck you dumbass you crazy mother f@#*&.” But once you’re in the air you can’t breath and you just have to tell yourself to point your feet and shut your legs. Shaunacy landed in a chair position and now has purple hamstrings and can’t bend over. Stacy bruised her tailbone. Mashawn cut his toe climbing out of the water. Janelle probably bruised her labias cause she forgot to close her legs. As you can tell some of us are real smart. Anyways, it was fun and we’re going back and as of today I’m saving up money so I can come back on vacation.

After that we just walked around town, got some pizza, ate on a cliff overlooking the ocean while white linen curtains blew in the wind, walked around some more and then came home. I love Dubrovnik. Look it up online when you get a chance, the pictures say it all.

Matt, since you didn’t want to hear about my day when I called you maybe you will read this and hear about it that way. Love you.

Hi mom, hi dad, hello to all my readers. The 4 of you have been so faithful. And just so you all know I’m starting my new diet tonight called starvation…right after I go to the midnight Asian buffet. HOLLER