he said she said i said BYE BITCH

hello readers, i give you a friendly dialogue between me and the sprint store. i will be "J" they will be "S1" and "S2" she will be one and he will be two and my internal monologue will be in (...). let us begin

wednesday afternoon, its raining

s1: hello and welcome to sprint. BORN TO BE FAMOUS. HAHAHAHAHAHA

j: (this girl think she's funny reading my shirt to me)

s1: how may i help you today

j: ok, here's my story. i recently got back into the country and have been trying to reactivate my phone since friday of last week. i have been dealing with sprint customer service over the phone and even gone to other sprint stores where they told me 'customer service should fucking help you' and now i am able to send and recieve texts and am able to call people but am unable to recieve calls.

s1: ok what is your number, blah blah blah

j: do you have any idea what is wrong with my phone

s2: usually if you don't pay your bills the first sign is that you can recieve calls but can't call out.

j: right, which is why my balance is zero and i am able to call out

s1: (still typing at the computer)do you have insurance on your phone?

j: no

s1: wow, that wasn't very smart

j:(you fucking whore) thank you

s1: now you will have to pay for whatever is wrong with your phone

j: whatever is wrong with my phone?

s1: here is a bill showing the estimated cost of repair

j: hold up, can we talk about this before you just start asking for money? am i available for an upgrade, how much time do i have left on my contract?

s1: i saw you looking at the "upstage" phone, you can get $150 taken off

j: do i have any limitations or only certain phones i can upgrade to? how much with the "upstage" be with my discount?

s1: let me see.....it will be $200

j: so what was it before the upgrade money?

s1: its $300 without your rebate.

j: and you're telling me that with my 150 off i'll still pay 200 dollars? (really, can you work a calculator you stupid stupid woman? also, i'm hungry)

s1: yes. here. (hands me a red and a black upgrade in their box for me to look at. whoa bitch, slow down)

j: um, thank you?

s1: do you like this phone???

j: yeah, do you know whats wrong with my phone?

s1: i'm waiting for my technitian to look at it

j: where is he?

s1: outside talking on the phone

j: gosh, i'm sorry for inconvieniencing you all at work

he comes, looks at my phone and takes it back to the back, he is s2 from earlier. lets also keep in mind that during all this they are speaking in some Shakira type spanish/arabic language to eachother and on the phone and then a really bad english accent to me. i thought i just left Turkey, why is it following me back to OKC. ugh. anyways i'm walking around the store, i'm the only one in there this entire time and then bitch starts tryin to have small talk with me.

s1: construction workers usually get that phone

j: (awesome, i was dying to know) yep

s1: so you don't have work today?

j: no, i just got back to the country, i was overseas working, remember?

s1: what do you do?

j: i'm a dancer (don't fuckin look at me like this, you still have sauce on your mouth from the lunch you were eating when i walked in)

s1: .......

j: i'm not an exotic dancer, i do ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop, contemporary, lyrical, clogging, and square dancing

s1: oh good, i was worried

j: (dumbass)

s2: ok, it will be 55 dollars to fix your phone

j: whats wrong with it?

s2: well, there is something with the chip that is messing up. your phone is well, its, its tired

j: .......

s2: yes, its tired

j: oh ok, i'll take it home and give her a little nap

s2: so yeah, i'll just take your phone and we'll put in the work order

j: you still have my phone

s2: oh yeah

j: yeah, i'm gonna fix it on my own, i'll take my phone back and fix it myself

s2: ok, i'll go put your phone together

he leaves and i kill some more time and then have to go talk to s1 again

j: yes i was wondering one last thing. could you tell me how much longer i have left on my contract

s1: sure, what is your number?

j: (seriously? again? jesus) 817-blah blah blah- blah blah blah blah

s1: ok, may i see your phone (and she takes it apart again)

customer walks in and she says "hi, welcome to sprint how can i help you" and then proceeds to help him with his problems. i proceed to walk over to s2 and ask him, he moves the coffee and papers off the computer, asks for my number, starts looking up stuff and tells me that i can download some software and that will help my problem a little, and then goes "shiiiiiiit". "s1 will you help this man with his contract information while i show our new customer our phones?"

s1: ok, whats you're number again

j: seriously? so i tell her

she then tells me how much longer i have and i take my phone and leave the store. on my way out she thanked me for stopping in and said she will see me again. i said YOU SURE WILL. nope. bye sprint. i'd rather pay 200 to break my contract and 200 to buy a new phone than get a shitty upgrade with a shitty new phone(they had NO choices cause i don't want a f-ing razor) with a company that can't turn my phone back on cause its "tired"